Using Feedback in Development

Performance reviews often leave people deflated. But the ones that inspire? They focus on potential, not just performance. Here’s how to create those conversations: 1 / Be specific about what you observed Use the SBI model to share it clearly. → Situation: When and where it happened → Behavior: What you observed, not your interpretation → Impact: How it affected the team or results 2 / Challenge them because you care Radical Candor isn’t about being nice or tough.  It’s about doing both. → Make criticism immediate and specific → Show you care about their growth → Praise publicly, critique privately 3 / Use language that opens doors The words you choose shape how people receive feedback. → “You’re not good at this” shuts people down → “You haven’t mastered this yet” creates possibility → That one word — yet — shifts everything 4 / Don’t hide feedback between compliments People remember the start and end better than the middle. → Give praise when you mean it → Give constructive criticism when it’s needed → Keep them separate 5 / Focus on where they’re going When the conversation is about the future, it motivates. → What would success look like for you? → What support do you need to get there? → What skills do you want to develop? 6 / Ask for their perspective too Performance reviews shouldn’t be one-sided. → Have them complete a self-assessment first → Compare notes together in the meeting → They often already know what needs to improve Performance reviews don’t have to be dreaded. Your team wants honest feedback. They just want it delivered in a way that sees their potential, not just their mistakes. ♻️ If this resonates, repost for your network. 📌 Follow Amy Gibson for more leadership insights.

At Radical Candor, I often hear the question, "How do I know if my feedback is landing?" The answer is simple but not always easy: Radical Candor is measured not at your mouth, but at the listener’s ear. It’s not about what you said, it’s about how the other person heard it and whether it led to meaningful dialogue and growth. Before you start giving feedback, remember the Radical Candor order of operations: get feedback before you give it. The best way to understand how another person thinks is to ask them directly and reward their candor. Next, give praise that is specific and sincere. This helps remind you what you appreciate about your colleagues, so when you do offer criticism, you can do it in the spirit of being helpful to someone you care about. When giving feedback, start in a neutral place. Don't begin at the outer edge of Challenge Directly, as this might come across as Obnoxious Aggression. Just make sure you're above the line on Care Personally and clear about what you're saying. Pay attention to how the other person responds - are they receptive, defensive, sad, or angry? Their reaction will guide your next steps. If someone becomes sad or angry, this is your cue to move up on the Care Personally dimension. Don't back off your challenge - that leads to Ruinous Empathy. Instead, acknowledge the emotion you're noticing: 'It seems like I've upset you.' Remember that emotions are natural and inevitable at work. Sometimes just giving voice to them helps both people cope better. If someone isn't hearing your feedback or brushing it off, you'll need to move further out on Challenge Directly. This can feel uncomfortable, but remember - clear is kind. You might say, 'I want to make sure I'm being as clear as possible' or 'I don't feel like I'm being clear.' Use 'I' statements and come prepared with specific examples. Most importantly, don't get discouraged if feedback conversations sometimes go sideways. We tend to remember the one time feedback went wrong and forget the nine times it helped someone improve and strengthened our relationship. Focus on optimizing for those nine successes rather than avoiding the one potential difficult conversation. Creating a culture of feedback takes time and practice. Each conversation is an opportunity to get better at both giving and receiving feedback. When you get it right, feedback becomes a powerful tool for building stronger relationships and achieving better results together. What’s one small adjustment you’ve made to give or receive better feedback? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Leaders who avoid hard feedback aren’t protecting their people, they are setting them up to fail. Feedback is one of the most powerful tools we have in leadership but it’s also one of the most misused. Because leaders confuse compassion with avoidance, softening the truth until it loses all usefulness, or withholding it altogether under the guise of kindness. Compassionate feedback is about caring enough to be honest, in a way that allows other people to hear it. At APS Intelligence, we use a framework for compassionate feedback, designed to ensure that even difficult messages are delivered with clarity and respect: 1. Frame the feedback - Start by recognising effort and value to create psychological safety and remind people their work is seen and appreciated. 2. Ask permission - Feedback lands better when people feel like they have agency. Asking “Can I talk to you about something I’ve noticed?” is, as Dr. Shelby Hill says, a gentle knock on the door of someone’s psyche instead of barging in. 3. Be precise and objective - Describe what you’ve observed, not your interpretation of it. Feedback should focus on behaviour, not character. 4. Explain the impact - Share how the behaviour affects others or the work. Clarity about consequences builds accountability without blame. 5. Stay curious and open - Avoid assumptions. Ask questions that invite dialogue and understanding, not defence. 6. Collaborate on next steps - Offer support, not ultimatums. Feedback should be a shared problem to solve instead of a burden to bear. 7. End with perspective - Reaffirm their strengths and remind them that one issue does not define their value. Compassionate feedback allows honesty and humanity to coexist. It ensures that when people walk away, they feel respected, even if the message was hard to hear. This is a framework we use often at APS Intelligence. You can book a tailored workshop for your people managers or leadership cohorts to explore this further.

How you receive feedback Determines how successful you become (in career and life). 4 proven tips to help you gracefully accept the gift of feedback: 1/ Listen actively Why: By approaching feedback with curiosity, you show a willingness to listen to understand (vs. to respond) the other person's perspective. How: Maintain eye contact, nod to acknowledge understanding, and wait until the person has finished speaking before responding. Remember, listening doesn't mean you agree with everything. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my presentation. I'm curious to learn more. Can you elaborate on the areas you think need improvement and what advice you have on how I can approach these differently?" 2/ Seek diverse perspectives Why: Asking for feedback from different people gives you a clearer picture of what you’re doing well and where you can improve. Plus, it helps you spot patterns in how others see your work. How: After receiving feedback on risk management from one person, reach out to others for additional perspective. "I'm looking to improve the quality of my risk management and reporting within my program. Do you have any advice for me in this area? Your input will help me de-risk execution and provide more accurate representation to stakeholders." 3/ Take time to process and reflect Why: Feedback can sting at first contact. Taking time to process it helps you manage your emotional response and consider it objectively. You can then identify key takeaways and develop a plan for implementing changes. How: "I appreciate your feedback on my communication style. I want to take some time to reflect on your suggestions and consider how to incorporate them into my interactions with the team. Can we schedule a follow-up meeting to discuss my action plan next week?" 4/ Express gratitude and close the loop Why: Expressing gratitude shows that you value the person's time and effort in providing feedback. Following up proves you’re serious about improving. How: "Thank you for sharing your feedback on my project estimations. Your input on factoring dependency review timelines has given me valuable perspective. Attached is the revised proposal based on your suggestions. I welcome any additional feedback you may have." PS: Feedback is not all-or-nothing. Even if you don't agree with everything, there's usually something valuable to take away. PPS: How gracefully you handle feedback directly correlates with whether others will give it to you (again). Image Credit: Roberto Ferraro

One of the hardest skills for any leader is giving feedback that’s both honest and human. That tightrope feels even thinner for product managers because we lead without authority. In one of my recent workshops on "𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲" for product managers, I heard variations of the same concern again and again: ➤ “If I’m too honest, I’ll lose the team.” ➤ “If I’m too nice, I’ll lose my point.” That’s the trap: thinking you have to choose between being kind and being clear. You don’t. The best PMs—and the best leaders—practice 𝗥𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗿. A simple but powerful idea from Kim Scott: 💡 Care Personally 💡 Challenge Directly It’s not about 𝗯𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘆. It’s about 𝗯𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘆, 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲. Here’s what that looks like: ❌ “This roadmap doesn’t make sense. You’re not thinking strategically.” ✅ “You’ve got strong instincts—what’s missing here is the ‘why’ behind our priorities. Let’s work on sharpening that.” Same message. One tears down, the other builds up.  That’s Radical Candor. Too many PMs fall into 𝗥𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆: staying quiet to protect feelings, avoiding hard conversations, but silence doesn't build teams. Feedback does. As a PM, you’re not just building products—you’re building alignment, accountability, trust and momentum. So, the next time you hesitate to speak up, or feel tempted to go blunt: Ask yourself—not just: “Am I right?” But: “𝗔𝗺 𝗜 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿?” Because as much as your team appreciates your empathy, what they'd appreciate more is empathy-infused, actionable feedback. Feedback isn’t a weapon. It’s not a performance. It’s a responsibility. And done right, it’s the most generous act of leadership. #empathy #leadership #productmanagement #radicalcandor

HR doesn’t need more dashboards. It needs better listening. Most people teams measure what’s easy…like engagement scores or turnover. But the best teams? They build feedback loops that help them predict problems, not just react to them. This post gives you 11 of the most useful, often-overlooked loops you can implement across the employee lifecycle: 🟢 Week 2 new hire check-ins (capture early impressions) 🟠 Post-interview surveys (from both sides) 🔵 Onboarding reviews (day 90 is your goldmine) 🟡 Skip-level 1:1s (cross-level truth-telling) 🟣 Quarterly team health check-ins (lightweight, manager-led) …and 7 more. 📌 Save this if: • You’re building a modern HR function • You want fewer “We should’ve seen this coming” moments • You believe listening is strategy Which feedback loop is missing in your company?

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿-𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗛𝘆𝗽𝗲𝗿-𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 As we come to the end of the year, we're seeing a lot of "My Year in Review" type posts, and that made me think about the power of Reflection. As I was sharing with my friend Alex Law the other day: 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿-𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗛𝘆𝗽𝗲𝗿-𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵. Today... Information is abundant. We are busy collecting experiences. Anybody can sound smart and give you advice. But we don't grow as quickly. Why? Because 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘂𝘀. 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀. Some people go through 100 experiences, but never pause to ask what they've learnt. They didn’t grow 100 times. They've repeated the same experience 100 times. Now imagine if you go through just 10 experiences, but after each one, you reflect, extract insight, and improve by just 𝟭𝟬%. And something magical happens! By the 10th experience, you’ve become 𝟮.𝟯𝟲𝘅 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿, not because you worked harder, but because you 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿. Reflection is not passive. It's: • 𝗠𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 – thinking about how you think • A 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 – testing assumptions and listening to feedback • The shift from being the 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗶𝘁 • The courage to 𝘂𝗽𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳𝘀 instead of defending identity It's also how people turn painful experiences into passion and purpose. ➡️ Without reflection, 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨. ➡️ With reflection, 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴. In a world where execution is automated by AI, 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲. And reflection is what makes learning compound. We should stop glorifying "years of experience" on resumes, but instead ask the sharper question "𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘥𝘰𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴?" To help you in reflecting better, here are some reflection questions I've found useful: 1️⃣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗲𝗻𝘀 • What was I trying to do? • What went well? What didn't? And why? • What assumptions proved wrong? • What will I try differently next time? • What support would help me improve faster? 2️⃣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗟𝗲𝗻𝘀 • Why is this important to me? • What system or process produced this outcome? • What is the real bottleneck holding me back? • Is this a one-off, or a recurring pattern? • What needs redesigning so this doesn’t repeat? 3️⃣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗲𝗻𝘀 • What evidence would change my mind? • How do I know I’m right, really? • Am I learning or defending an identity? How are you Reflecting on Your Year? #WholeHearted

Your response to feedback reveals more about your leadership potential than your actual performance. After coaching hundreds of executives through difficult feedback conversations, I've learned that how you receive feedback determines how much you'll receive in the future. The feedback death spiral looks like this: 1) Someone gives you honest input 2) You get defensive or make excuses 3) They decide you're not coachable 4) They stop investing in your development 5) You stop growing What high-potential leaders do differently when receiving feedback: ✅ Stay Curious, Not Defensive Replace: "That's not what I meant" With: "Help me understand what you observed" ✅ Ask Clarifying Questions "Can you give me a specific example?" "What would you recommend I do differently?" "How did that impact you/the team?" ✅ Summarize and Confirm "What I'm hearing is..." "Let me make sure I understand..." "The key takeaway for me is..." ✅ Express Genuine Gratitude • Thank them for their courage to speak up • Even if the delivery wasn't perfect • Even if you disagree with the content Treat feedback like market research about your leadership brand. The person giving it is your customer, telling you about their experience with your "product." You don't have to agree with all feedback, but you should always understand it. The best leaders I coach actively seek feedback because they know their careers depend on what they can't see about themselves. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Follow Joshua Miller #executivecoaching #feedback #leadership #careeradvice #business

Feedback is a gift, even if it stings. Especially when it comes from your boss. And with end-of-year reviews around the corner, timing is everything. What most do when receiving feedback: ↳ Get defensive and shut down ↳ Take it personally, not professionally ↳ Miss the growth opportunity within 7 ways to transform feedback into career gold: 1. Master the first response ↳ Stay calm and collected ↳ Show openness to learn 2. Decode the message ↳ Look beyond the delivery style ↳ Focus on actionable insights 3. Ask smart questions ↳ Seek specific examples ↳ Request clear success metrics 4. Document everything ↳ Write down key points raised ↳ Note suggested improvements 5. Create a visible action plan ↳ Show your boss you're serious ↳ Set clear milestones for change 6. Schedule progress updates ↳ Don't wait for next year's review ↳ Take initiative to show growth 7. Turn criticism into coaching ↳ Ask for resources to improve ↳ Treat your boss as a mentor The best employees don't just hear feedback. They make their boss notice the change. What's your best tip for handling feedback? Let me know in the comments. ♻️ Repost to spread career wisdom 👉 Follow Lauren Murrell for more like this

Most leaders aren’t destroyed by others. They’re destroyed by themselves. Here is why? They think success is about being strategically brilliant... or experts in their field... And then they fail due to missing self-awareness. Years ago, I worked with a strong executive. Sharp mind. Strong resume. Great results on paper. But his team didn’t trust him. They gave minimal input. They avoided him in meetings. He thought it was all about them - laziness, lack of ambition, wrong culture fit. He couldn’t see that the problem was him, with his dismissive, reactive, and self-centered behaviour. That's when I saw how easily success blinds us. How quickly ego blocks awareness. And how fast people stop telling you the truth when you rise. My learning until today: Self-awareness is the foundation of leadership. Without it, every other skill is wasted. Here are 10 principles to build it daily: 1️⃣ Ask for brutal feedback Don’t fish for praise, invite truth. Growth begins where comfort ends. 2️⃣ Watch your impact, not just intent Good intentions can still hurt. Measure how others experience you. 3️⃣ Listen beyond words What’s unsaid is often more important. Pay attention to body language and silence. 4️⃣ Spot your triggers Stress exposes blind spots. Know what sets you off before it controls you. 5️⃣ Separate ego from role You are not your title. People follow authenticity, not hierarchy. 6️⃣ Reflect daily 5 minutes of honest reflection beats 5 hours of excuses. Ask: “How did I show up today?” 7️⃣ Own mistakes fast Excuses destroy trust. Admission builds it. 8️⃣ Notice recurring feedback If three people tell you the same thing - it’s not coincidence. It’s your blind spot showing. 9️⃣ Test your assumptions “I think they’re fine” is not a fact. Validate before acting. 🔟 Grow with humility Leaders who think they’ve arrived stop learning. Stay curious, stay open. When leaders master self-awareness, people stop working for you and start working with you. Because self-awareness builds trust - and trust builds everything else. Remember: You can’t lead others if you can’t lead yourself. The mirror is the hardest tool in leadership. Self-awareness isn’t soft. It’s the sharpest edge you can have. ‐---‐------------------------------- ♻️ Repost this to support your network. 🔔 Follow me (Simon Koerner) for more valuable content on leadership, culture and growth.