How to Build Self-Awareness Through Feedback

If unsolicited feedback is all you rely on, your growth is limited to what others feel like telling you. And that’s not a strategy for anyone serious about their career. Because silence doesn’t mean you’re doing well. It usually means no one felt compelled, safe, or incentivized to speak. Growth doesn’t come from what happens to reach you. It comes from what you deliberately go after. Which is why self-awareness can’t be passive. It has to be built - intentionally. Because it’s not just about knowing your strengths and gaps. It’s about understanding how your intent 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 lands — and whether your impact matches what you think you’re delivering. The fastest accelerators I’ve seen in people’s careers do three things consistently: They don’t just seek confirmation. They actively seek disconfirmation. They verify if their internal narrative matches their external impact. Here are a few practical ways to do that: 𝟭/ 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘃𝘀. 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 — 𝗶𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 After an important meeting or decision, ask: “What was your key takeaway from the discussion?” Not “Was it clear?” — This surfaces blind spots faster than generic feedback. 𝟮/ 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 — 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗿𝗼-𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗽𝘀 A simple: “One thing I could have done differently in that discussion?” will teach you more than most annual processes ever will. 𝟯/ 𝗣𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 Do people lean in… or disengage? Their body language and behavior tells you what their words won’t. 𝟰/ 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 Peers. Cross-functional partners. Former teammates. They’ll tell you what others won’t. 𝟱/ 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Instead of: “What am I good at?” Try: “Where do I unintentionally make things harder?” That’s where growth hides. 𝟲/ 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 One data point may be noise. Repeated signals are insight. The leaders who grow fastest aren’t the most confident. They’re the most curious about themselves. They don’t just ask: “Am I doing well?” They ask: “Am I seeing myself clearly?” Because self-awareness doesn’t just make you better at your job — It makes you better to work with. And that, more than any single skill, is what accelerates careers. What’s one question you’ve asked that helped you see yourself more clearly? --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for Leadership and Career posts.

Harsh leadership truth: Many leaders have a critical blind spot. Self-awareness. They're often shocked when 360-degree feedback reveals their leadership style is demotivating or demoralizing. The root cause is usually one of two things: #1 They've never sought out candid feedback about the impact of their leadership #2 They lack the tools to assess their own strengths and weaknesses objectively This blind spot can have disastrous consequences: • Employee engagement plummets as team morale erodes • High-potential talent leaves to find a better leader elsewhere • The leader's career trajectory stalls as their reputation suffers The good news is self-awareness can be developed with intentional effort. Here are 3 strategies I use to help leaders close this gap: #1 Institutionalize Feedback Implement regular 360-degree reviews to gather input from direct reports, peers and managers. Supplement with frequent informal check-ins. The key is to position feedback as a gift – not a threat. #2 Leverage Assessments Use scientifically validated tools like StrengthsFinder or DISC to build self-understanding. Debriefing the results with a certified coach provides powerful "aha" moments and actionable insights. #3 Examine Impact vs. Intent Have leaders map out pivotal team interactions and objectively compare their intended impact with the actual impact on others. The gaps are often revelatory and become focus areas for adjustment. As self-awareness grows, I've seen leaders transform in powerful ways: • They mend strained relationships and build deep trust and loyalty • They start showing up in a way that inspires and engages their teams • They make better decisions by accounting for their natural tendencies and biases Helping a leader close their self-awareness gap is some of my most gratifying and high-impact work. The ripple effects on their team, organization and career are immense. If you're in a leadership role, don't let a lack of self-awareness hold you back. Proactively seek to understand your strengths, blind spots and impact. It takes humility and courage, but the payoff is well worth it - for you and everyone you lead. Join the 12,000+ leaders who get our weekly email newsletter.  https://lnkd.in/en9vxeNk

Most leaders aren’t destroyed by others. They’re destroyed by themselves. Here is why? They think success is about being strategically brilliant... or experts in their field... And then they fail due to missing self-awareness. Years ago, I worked with a strong executive. Sharp mind. Strong resume. Great results on paper. But his team didn’t trust him. They gave minimal input. They avoided him in meetings. He thought it was all about them - laziness, lack of ambition, wrong culture fit. He couldn’t see that the problem was him, with his dismissive, reactive, and self-centered behaviour. That's when I saw how easily success blinds us. How quickly ego blocks awareness. And how fast people stop telling you the truth when you rise. My learning until today: Self-awareness is the foundation of leadership. Without it, every other skill is wasted. Here are 10 principles to build it daily: 1️⃣ Ask for brutal feedback Don’t fish for praise, invite truth. Growth begins where comfort ends. 2️⃣ Watch your impact, not just intent Good intentions can still hurt. Measure how others experience you. 3️⃣ Listen beyond words What’s unsaid is often more important. Pay attention to body language and silence. 4️⃣ Spot your triggers Stress exposes blind spots. Know what sets you off before it controls you. 5️⃣ Separate ego from role You are not your title. People follow authenticity, not hierarchy. 6️⃣ Reflect daily 5 minutes of honest reflection beats 5 hours of excuses. Ask: “How did I show up today?” 7️⃣ Own mistakes fast Excuses destroy trust. Admission builds it. 8️⃣ Notice recurring feedback If three people tell you the same thing - it’s not coincidence. It’s your blind spot showing. 9️⃣ Test your assumptions “I think they’re fine” is not a fact. Validate before acting. 🔟 Grow with humility Leaders who think they’ve arrived stop learning. Stay curious, stay open. When leaders master self-awareness, people stop working for you and start working with you. Because self-awareness builds trust - and trust builds everything else. Remember: You can’t lead others if you can’t lead yourself. The mirror is the hardest tool in leadership. Self-awareness isn’t soft. It’s the sharpest edge you can have. ‐---‐------------------------------- ♻️ Repost this to support your network. 🔔 Follow me (Simon Koerner) for more valuable content on leadership, culture and growth.

Leaders Who Know Themselves Can Lead Others Better Leadership is not about having all the answers; it’s about knowing yourself well enough to ask the right questions, listen deeply, and make meaningful connections. Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence (EQ) and the foundation upon which great leadership is built. Why Self-Awareness Matters Self-awareness means understanding your emotions, triggers, strengths, weaknesses, and values. It allows leaders to act intentionally rather than react impulsively. When leaders are self-aware, they are better equipped to manage their teams, navigate challenges, and foster a culture of trust and openness. Research shows that leaders with high self-awareness are 32% more effective in their roles. Why? Because they are not only aware of their impact on others but also open to feedback and growth. This fosters better decision-making, emotional regulation, and resilience under pressure. A Personal Observation I once faced a high-stakes decision where my instinct was to push forward aggressively, confident that I had all the facts. But something didn’t feel right. Taking a step back, I questioned my motivations and assumptions. Was my approach driven by logic, or was ego sneaking in? That moment of introspection changed everything. By seeking input from my team and re-evaluating the situation, we found a solution that wasn’t just better for the business but also strengthened team collaboration and trust. This experience reminded me that self-awareness is not a one-time skill—it’s a daily practice. How to Build Self-Awareness - Pause and Reflect: Take time to assess how you feel and why you’re feeling that way. - Seek Feedback: Ask trusted colleagues or mentors for honest input on your behavior and decisions. - Journal Regularly: Writing about your thoughts and experiences can uncover patterns and insights. - Practice Mindfulness: Learn to be present in the moment, which enhances your ability to notice your emotions and reactions. A Call to Action Leadership begins from within. To lead others effectively, you must first lead yourself with clarity and authenticity. Reflect on this: How self-aware are you? When was the last time you paused to understand your emotions and their impact on your decisions? Let’s start a conversation. Share your thoughts, or tell us about a moment when self-awareness made a difference in your leadership journey. #LeadershipMatters #SelfAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence #EQInLeadership #MindfulLeadership #AuthenticLeadership #LeadershipSkills #PersonalGrowth #LeadershipJourney #SelfReflection #LeadershipDevelopment #LeadershipMindset #TransformationalLeadership #InspireAndLead #EffectiveLeadership #GrowthMindset #LeadershipLegacy #EmpathyInLeadership #TeamBuilding #SelfAwareLeader

One of the hardest lessons for new managers to learn is that you don’t see yourself the way others see you. I remember one manager telling me how, in her first month, she assumed her team saw her as approachable. But when she asked for feedback, she learned her direct reports felt intimidated by her. It was a shock; but it was also a turning point. Feedback is one of the fastest ways to build self-awareness and grow as a leader. Here’s how to start: - Regularly ask for feedback—don’t wait for formal reviews. - Use specific questions like: “What’s one thing I could do differently to better support you?” - Act on the feedback you receive. Showing you’re willing to change builds trust. Here are 5 great questions to ask that will help you get feedback from your team members: 1. What’s one thing I can do to better support you in your role? - This shows a focus on enabling the team’s success and encourages open communication about support needs. 2. Are there any barriers you’re facing that I can help remove? - This question demonstrates a commitment to problem-solving and empowering the team to perform at their best. 3. What’s one thing you think we should stop, start, or continue as a team? - Encourages reflection on team processes and invites collaboration on improving ways of working. 4. How do you prefer to receive feedback and recognition? - Shows sensitivity to individual preferences, helping to build better relationships and provide meaningful feedback. 5. What’s a skill or goal you’d like to develop, and how can I support you in achieving it? - Positions you as a mentor and creates opportunities for career growth and personal development. Let me know how you get on or areas that you need support on. #leadership #leading #newleader

Ever had a moment where you left a meeting thinking, “That went well” only to realise later that others saw it completely differently? When I spoke with Daniel Goleman for 'The Future of Leadership is Human' podcast from the #AssociationforCoaching, we talked about exactly that - how real leadership begins with self-awareness. Here’s the reality: 👉 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10–15% actually are. 👉 Companies that underperform have 20% more leaders with blind spots than high performers. It’s a costly gap; in productivity, impact and innovation. When a leader can’t see their own patterns - how they communicate, react, or make decisions - they can’t lead with full impact. Self-awareness isn’t really a 'soft skill.' It’s strategic. It’s the difference between: → reacting vs. responding → managing people vs. inspiring them → assuming trust vs. earning it When you’re genuinely self-aware, you show up as real, grounded and open. You own your impact. You listen more deeply. People feel that - and it makes you more approachable, relatable and ultimately more trustworthy. So how can you check your own self-awareness as a leader? 💭 Ask for honest feedback - from your leader, peers, team, even your family. It may not be fun, but it will be insightful. 🧠 Notice your triggers - when do you feel defensive, drained, or energised? 📓 Reflect after moments of tension or challenge – what was really going on for you? 🎯 Look for patterns – are there behaviours you repeat that no longer serve you? What's that thing you always hear in your annual performance review? The most self-aware leaders aren’t perfect - they’re just curious and open to understanding themselves and their impact. They pay attention. They ask questions. And they keep learning. If you’d like to explore this more, you can listen to my conversation with Daniel Goleman here 🎧 👉 https://lnkd.in/egkQdnae How do you stay aware of how you’re showing up as a leader? MAXINE BELL Rob Lawrence Smaranda Dochia #Leadership #SelfAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence #AuthenticLeadership #HumanCentricLeadership #Trust #WomenInLeadership #CareerGrowth #FutureOfLeadership

Self-awareness—or the lack of it—can make or break your career. I’ll be honest—I've had moments where I was unknowingly passive-aggressive with a coworker. Or defensive. Or dismissive. Later, someone on my team would confidentially tell me how I came across. I have many blind spots. Do you have a blind spot? Are you aware of how your behavior is impacting your fundraising or promotion chances? 📌 You might think you’re confident but perceived as arrogant. 📌 You might think you’re being helpful but come across as micromanaging. 📌 You might believe you’re overperforming, but others see you as disorganized and unreliable cause you have too much on our plate and fail to deliver. And the list goes on and on! Here’s the harsh reality: People who are unaware of their own behavior in the workplace are: ↘ Less likely to be promoted. ↘ Less likely to win over investors. ↘ Less likely to receive praise or recognition. Why? Because if you don’t see how your actions impact others, you can’t correct course. And if you can’t course-correct, you’ll struggle to build trust, influence, and respect—the very things that drive professional success. So, how can you become more aware of your blind spots and address them? ↗ Seek feedback regularly: It’s easy to overlook your own behavior. Ask trusted colleagues for honest feedback—they’ll often see what you can’t. Investors and leaders pay attention to those who can listen and adapt. ↗ Practice self-reflection: At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on your interactions. What went well? What could have been handled better? Awareness breeds growth, and growth gets noticed. ↗ Embrace mindfulness: Being present helps you catch those passive-aggressive tendencies before they happen. The more aware you are, the more positively you’ll impact your team and stakeholders. ↗ Hold yourself accountable: When you slip up, own it. Investors and leaders respect those who can admit mistakes and show a commitment to improvement. ↗ Embrace vulnerability: Embracing vulnerability shows strength. Just as you need understanding, so do others. Authentic relationships lead to deeper connections, more opportunities, and greater recognition. Self-awareness isn’t just about feeling good—it’s about being the kind of person who can lead, influence, and ultimately succeed. Do you have a blind spot? #ThinkAboutIt Artwork: Aykut Aydogdu

Most leaders think they are more self aware than they actually are. I was one of them. 💜 I knew my strengths. I could rattle them off without thinking. I had results to back them up. What I could not see was what those strengths were costing the people around me. The leader who dominates every meeting does not think of themselves as someone who silences others. They think of themselves as decisive. Prepared. The one who gets things done. The leader who absorbs everything and delegates nothing does not see themselves as a bottleneck. They see themselves as committed. Reliable. Someone who cares enough to do it right. The leader who steamrolls objections does not think they are destroying trust. They think they are protecting the right outcome. I have been all of those leaders at different points in my career. And in every case I was the last one to see it. That is the thing about self awareness that nobody tells you. It is not a personality trait. It is a practice. And most of us are only practicing it on the easy parts of ourselves. Here is what actually practicing it looks like: Ask the question nobody asks. After a meeting, a difficult conversation, a decision that did not land the way you expected, ask yourself not what went wrong but what you contributed to it. Not defensively. Genuinely. Your answer will tell you more than any feedback ever could. Watch the pattern not the moment. One difficult meeting means nothing. Five difficult meetings with the same person or the same team means something. Self awareness lives in the pattern, not the exception. Get uncomfortable with your strengths. Your greatest strengths, unchecked, become your greatest liabilities. The things that made you effective at one level of leadership will work against you at the next if you do not learn to calibrate them. What is yours? Listen to what people do not say. The most important feedback you will ever receive will not come in a performance review. It will come in who stops bringing you problems. Who goes quiet in meetings. Who stops pushing back. Pay attention to the silence. Find the person who will tell you the truth. Not to make you feel better. Not to protect the relationship. The person who will say the hard thing because they respect you enough to say it. And then actually listen when they do. Self awareness is not knowing your strengths and weaknesses on paper. It is catching yourself in the moment. Recognizing the pattern before someone else has to name it. Being willing to see what your blind spots are costing the people around you before the cost becomes too high. The most effective leaders I have ever known are not the ones without blind spots. They are the ones who keep looking for them. 🎯 Where are your strengths working against you right now? 💜 #Monday #Leadership #SelfAwareness #ExecutiveLeadership #CareerGrowth

Want to know the most dangerous blind spot in leadership? Limited self-awareness. Not knowing how you show up. Not realizing how you make people feel. Not hearing what people won’t say out loud. At the senior level, this challenge multiplies. Why? Because titles create distance. People filter their words. Feedback gets softer. And your perception of reality becomes skewed. 🧠 According to Harvard Business Review, self-aware leaders are more confident, more respected, and create teams with higher performance and lower turnover. But only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware (Eurich, 2018). That means most leaders are walking around with a 30-degree gap between how they see themselves and how their team experiences them. This gap leads to: → Poor communication in high-stakes moments → Trust breakdowns that never get repaired → Conflict avoidance masked as professionalism → A team that performs… but never pushes Let me be real with you: I once had a team describe me as unapproachable. I thought I was being focused. They thought I didn’t care. That moment changed everything for me. Self-awareness is imperative! Because when you understand your impact, you don’t just communicate.... You connect. You don’t just lead.... You inspire. If you're in a senior role and still waiting for honest feedback, it won’t come by accident. It has to be invited, protected, and acted on. Here's how to start: 1️⃣ Ask for real feedback; anonymously if needed → Use a third-party coach or 360 tool to get the truth 2️⃣ Audit your “emotional signature” → After each meeting, ask: What tone did I set? What did I leave behind? 3️⃣ Model humility out loud → Say things like: “If my delivery felt sharp, that wasn’t my intention. Let’s course-correct.” 4️⃣ Don’t just develop skills, develop awareness → You can’t fix what you won’t face. Senior leadership isn't about having all the answers. It’s about being willing to hear the answers that make you uncomfortable. You’re not just leading results. You’re shaping emotional environments every day. And self-awareness is the difference between compliance and commitment. Comment Below: What’s one piece of feedback you ignored and now wish you hadn’t? ♻ Repost if you agree: The higher you go, the more self-awareness matters. I’m Dan 👊 Follow me for daily posts. I talk about confidence, professional growth and personal growth. ➕ Daniel McNamee

When we receive "constructive" feedback, our brain typically goes into fight-or-flight because the feedback threatens our false identity as perfectionists who never make mistakes. It's not just that our WORK PRODUCT is flawed; we feel flawed. We then default into physical, emotional and cognitive contraction -- receiving the information defensively or aggressively. To be effective at receiving feedback, we must be intentional and strategic about what we say and how we act when the feedback is being conveyed -- otherwise our default nervous system reactions will contaminate our thinking and our behavior. This will harm both our learning/growth and our relationship with the feedback giver -- 2 core pillars of excelling professionally. So how do we override our default reactions and instead signal -- to the feedback giver AND to our own brain -- openness, curiosity and a growth mindset? Here are 4 of the practical tips I shared during "The Art & Science of Receiving Feedback" breakouts I led at the Fisher Phillips retreat last week: 💫 NON-VERBALS: override unconscious physical contraction across the top 5 non-verbals: posture (90°+ between spine and pelvis to overcome "bracing"), arms (don’t create a barrier), eyes (un-squint), mouth (unlock jaw and lips), and breath (deepen to diaphragm and lengthen each cycle). 💫 FIRST UTTERANCE: make your first response either gratitude (a sentence of appreciation) OR pause (if you're too emotional to express gratitude, apply Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's 90-Second Rule) to buy time before speaking. Requesting time to reflect and circling back later that day or next day is highly effective. (We do NOT need to respond substantively in real time, despite our mind’s illusion.) 💫 PARAPHRASE THE FEEDBACK: your first substantive response should NOT be agreement or evaluation; it should summarize it in your own words. This increases comprehension, demonstrates understanding, signals openness, and builds trust (people trust those who understand their views). 💫 ASK 1-2 DEEPENING QUESTIONS: again delaying evaluation, identify 1-2 questions that deepen the discussion beyond what was initially shared by the feedback giver -- demonstrating openness, engagement, and the ability to take the feedback to a deeper or more nuanced level. Then -- AND ONLY THEN -- are you positioned to begin evaluating the validity of the feedback. And yet, as a result of these initial responses, you will have overridden your default reactions, built trust with the feedback giver, cemented your orientation into a growth mindset, and primed your brain to maximally comprehend and evaluate the feedback. Having a simple, science-based road map in those uncomfortable feedback conversations can be a real game-changer. Otherwise, we tend to "shoot from the hip" -- and that is NOT when our highest and best self emerges.... Would love to hear any thoughts, additions, or insights you have on the above!