Soft Skills & Emotional Intelligence

I Can Spot a Great Candidate in 30 Seconds - Without Looking at Their Resume. At Vicco Laboratories, the first few interview rounds are handled by our HR and leadership team. They assess skills, experience, performance history - all the standard checkboxes. But when someone reaches my room, I’m not evaluating capability. I’m evaluating character. Because skills can be trained. Character can’t. So in the final round, I deliberately observe three things before we even get into formal questions: 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 1: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦 Before they enter, I always ask our receptionist to make them wait for a few minutes. Not to trouble them — but to observe: Do they greet her or ignore her? Do they show gratitude or entitlement? Do they smile or stay blank? Do they thank her when being called in? If someone is only respectful upwards, they’re not fit for leadership. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 2: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 During the conversation, I pause intentionally. A great candidate: Doesn’t panic when things go quiet Holds eye contact without overcompensating Thinks before responding, instead of rushing to impress Silence is a pressure test.  Silence exposes a person’s comfort with themselves. And self-assured people make better decisions under pressure. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭 3: 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐤 “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐨”, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐆𝐞𝐭?” I watch closely when compensation and responsibilities are discussed. If the questions are only about salary, perks and timings, they’re employees. If they ask about learning culture, values, decision-making structure…they are already thinking as an owner. I’ll always choose alignment over achievement. So if you’re ever preparing for your final round anywhere — don’t just prepare your resume. Prepare your presence. Because long after your words fade, your character stays in the room. Sanjeev Pendharkar  Just sharing what I’ve learnt #values #business #hiring #hr #decisionmaking #cv #leadership #skills

One skill separates great communicators from average ones: Perspective-taking. The ability to see things from someone else’s point of view. But most people do it wrong. Here’s how to do it right, especially when you’re leading or being led: When you’re the boss, persuading down: You’re trying to convince Maria on your team to do something different. She’s pushing back. Your instinct might be to assert your authority. But that’s a mistake. Here’s why… Research shows: The more powerful you feel, the worse your perspective-taking becomes. More power = less understanding. So if you want to persuade Maria, don’t lean into your title. Do the opposite: dial your power down, just briefly. Try this: Before the next conversation, remind yourself: Maria has power too. I need her buy-in. Maybe she sees something I don’t. Lower your feelings of power to raise your perspective. From that place, ask: → What does she see that I’m missing? → What might be in her way? → What’s a win-win outcome? That shift changes the entire dynamic. Instead of steamrolling, you’re collaborating. And that’s how you earn trust and results. Now flip it. You’re the employee persuading your boss. It’s a high-stakes moment. You’re nervous. So do you appeal to emotion? No. Drop the feelings. Focus on interests. Here’s the key question: “What’s in it for them?” Not how you feel. Not your big dream. → Will it save time? → Improve performance? → Help them hit their goals? Make it about their world, not yours. Why? Because every boss has a mental shortcut: → Does this employee make my life easier or harder? Be the person who brings clarity, ideas, and upside. Not complaints, drama, or friction. In summary: → Persuading down? Dial down your power to see clearer. → Persuading up? Focus on their interests, not your emotions. Perspective-taking is a superpower, if you learn how to use it. Now practice, practice, practice.

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

"Feedback is a gift. It's an opportunity to learn and grow" At Google, we believe in the power of feedback to drive improvement. Sometimes feedback can be tough to hear. But taking the time to unpack it, understand the perspective, and reflect on it is crucial. Why feedback matters: - It reveals blind spots we cannot see ourselves - It accelerates learning by shortcutting trial and error - It demonstrates that others are invested in your success - It creates alignment between perception and reality How to receive feedback effectively: 1. Approach with curiosity, not defensiveness When receiving feedback, your first reaction might be to justify or explain. Instead, listen deeply and ask clarifying questions: "Can you give me a specific example?" or "What would success look like to you?" 2. Separate intention from impact Remember that well-intentioned actions can still have unintended consequences. Focus on understanding the impact rather than defending your intentions. 3. Look for patterns across multiple sources Individual feedback may reflect personal preferences, but patterns across multiple sources often reveal genuine opportunities for growth. 4. Prioritize actionable insights Not all feedback requires action. Evaluate which points will have the greatest impact on your effectiveness and focus your energy there. 5. Follow up and close the loop Demonstrate your commitment by acknowledging the feedback, sharing your action plan, and following up on your progress. Creating a feedback-rich environment: - Model vulnerability by asking for feedback yourself - Recognize and celebrate when people implement feedback successfully - Make it routine through structured check-ins rather than waiting for formal reviews At Google, we've learned that organizations with robust feedback cultures innovate faster, adapt more quickly to market changes, and build more inclusive workplaces. Let's commit to seeing feedback not as criticism but as a valuable investment in our collective future. The discomfort is temporary, but the growth is lasting. #motivation #productivity #mindset

The Olympics have nailed their marketing without us realising 🥊🏅 I thought it was strange that the Olympics were starting on Friday, but I’d seen very little advertised. Anyone else? And then it hit me, whilst watching Sprint (my third newly added sports documentary on Netflix this weekend) & finding myself googling the dates of the athletes’ events at Paris, that I’d been indirectly marketed to in the most genius way. Here’s why, and more importantly, here’s why it worked: 1️⃣ Meeting the Audience Where They Are The Olympics faced a challenge: how to engage a generation that doesn’t watch mainstream TV. So, they went straight to where their audience spends time – streaming platforms. 85% of Gen Z and millennials prefer streaming over traditional TV. By launching multiple compelling sports docuseries on Netflix, they met their audience exactly where they are. 2️⃣ No Ads, Just Stories Research shows that storytelling is the most powerful tool in marketing – it's 22 times more memorable than facts alone. When you tell a story, you engage your audience’s emotions, and that connection is invaluable. It's this emotional engagement that turns viewers into fans and casual watchers into passionate supporters. No CTAs, no tracked links, just pure wonderful emotional storytelling at its finest. 3️⃣ Creating Emotional Investment These docuseries pull you into the personal lives of top athletes. You follow their journeys, their struggles, and their triumphs, right up to the competition before the Paris Olympics. This emotional investment is powerful. Suddenly you’re not only aware of these athletes in various disciplines, you’re invested in their success. 4️⃣ Building Anticipation By ending these stories on a cliffhanger, they’ve done something brilliant – they’ve made you care. You’re not just a spectator anymore; you’re invested in seeing these athletes win. And the next episode? Well that will be streamed live from Paris on mainstream TV. I know I’m not alone in wanting to see how these stories end. 5️⃣ Perfect Timing Timing is everything in marketing, and the Olympics nailed it. By launching these docuseries right before the games, they’ve ensured the stories are fresh in our minds. This makes the athletes' journeys a cultural talking point and keeps the Olympics top of mind. Strategic timing like this makes the content memorable and maximises its impact. Here’s the lesson: To truly engage your audience, focus on storytelling. Create narratives so compelling, people can’t help but follow along. Make them care about the outcome. When your audience is emotionally invested, they’re not just watching – they’re rooting for you. This weekend reminded me why I love marketing. It's not just about selling a product; it's about creating connections, inspiring emotions, and telling stories that resonate. So, next time you’re crafting your strategy, ask yourself: are you telling a story your audience will care about? I’m sold. Who’s watching?

Hire people BETTER THAN YOU and DIFFERENT TO YOU… Then LEARN FROM THEM. 🙏🏾 Sounds straightforward, doesn't it? Yet, why do so many leaders still struggle to grasp it? It’s because there's often hidden complexity beneath the surface. For example: 👀 Insecurity: Some leaders want to maintain the perception of being the smartest or most capable in the room. Therefore, surrounding themselves with highly skilled individuals could make them feel inadequate or threatened. 🔐 Need for Control: Hiring “less competent” team members could ensure that the leader remains the central figure, exerting control over important matters. 😱 Fear of Challenge: A diverse team can bring different viewpoints that might challenge the leader's ideas and decisions. 🧘🏾♂️ Comfort Zone: Some leaders prefer familiarity and ease, preventing them from being pushed out of their boundaries. ❤️ Misguided Loyalty: Leaders might adopt favouritism and hire people based on personal relationships or loyalties. 🤔 Short-Term Thinking: Hiring less skilled individuals could be a short-sighted approach to save costs or meet immediate needs, ignoring the long-term benefits of a talented and diverse team. 🤷🏾♂️ Lack of Awareness: Some leaders might just not fully recognise the value of diversity or the importance of surrounding themselves with skilled individuals. Leaders like the above ☝🏽are missing out on: 🧠 Amplified Intelligence: “Fuse Minds" Surrounding yourself with smarter people boosts team intelligence. Just like a puzzle, different pieces fit together to create a whole that's stronger than its parts. 🚀 Fast-Track Growth: “Learn from Experts" Learning from the best accelerates personal growth. Imagine being on a rocket powered by knowledge and experience – you'll reach your goals faster. 🤔 Constant Innovation: “Open Doors" Humility opens doors to innovation. Acknowledging that you don't know everything encourages openness to fresh ideas and creative solutions. 🏋️♂️ Informed Choices: “Embrace Thought Variety" Embracing diversity of thought leads to well-rounded decisions. Different perspectives catch what others might miss, reducing blind spots. 🤝 Unified Power: “Flourish in Collaboration” Collaboration flourishes when skills vary. Strength lies in unity, and a mix of talents creates a powerhouse of cooperation. 🌱 Trust Building: “Strengthen Culture" Inclusive leadership fosters loyalty and trust. Encouraging growth shows you value your team members, creating a supportive environment. 🚀 Ensured Continuity: “Smooth Transition" Passing the baton ensures continuity. When your team can carry the torch, you're free to explore new horizons without being tied down. In short, the aim of any great leader is to make your daily responsibilities redundant. This is best achieved by hiring people better than you, and those that share a different perspective. Empower them, learn from them and the rest will take care of itself 🦋

Should you try Google’s famous “20% time” experiment to encourage innovation? We tried this at Duolingo years ago. It didn’t work. It wasn’t enough time for people to start meaningful projects, and very few people took advantage of it because the framework was pretty vague. I knew there had to be other ways to drive innovation at the company. So, here are 3 other initiatives we’ve tried, what we’ve learned from each, and what we're going to try next. 💡 Innovation Awards: Annual recognition for those who move the needle with boundary-pushing projects. The upside: These awards make our commitment to innovation clear, and offer a well-deserved incentive to those who have done remarkable work. The downside: It’s given to individuals, but we want to incentivize team work. What’s more, it’s not necessarily a framework for coming up with the next big thing. 💻 Hackathon: This is a good framework, and lots of companies do it. Everyone (not just engineers) can take two days to collaborate on and present anything that excites them, as long as it advances our mission or addresses a key business need. The upside: Some of our biggest features grew out of hackathon projects, from the Duolingo English Test (born at our first hackathon in 2013) to our avatar builder. The downside: Other than the time/resource constraint, projects rarely align with our current priorities. The ones that take off hit the elusive combo of right time + a problem that no other team could tackle. 💥 Special Projects: Knowing that ideal equation, we started a new program for fostering innovation, playfully dubbed DARPA (Duolingo Advanced Research Project Agency). The idea: anyone can pitch an idea at any time. If they get consensus on it and if it’s not in the purview of another team, a cross-functional group is formed to bring the project to fruition. The most creative work tends to happen when a problem is not in the clear purview of a particular team; this program creates a path for bringing these kinds of interdisciplinary ideas to life. Our Duo and Lily mascot suits (featured often on our social accounts) came from this, as did our Duo plushie and the merch store. (And if this photo doesn't show why we needed to innovate for new suits, I don't know what will!) The biggest challenge: figuring out how to transition ownership of a successful project after the strike team’s work is done. 👀 What’s next? We’re working on a program that proactively identifies big picture, unassigned problems that we haven’t figured out yet and then incentivizes people to create proposals for solving them. How that will work is still to be determined, but we know there is a lot of fertile ground for it to take root. How does your company create an environment of creativity that encourages true innovation? I'm interested to hear what's worked for you, so please feel free to share in the comments! #duolingo #innovation #hackathon #creativity #bigideas

You’re more influenced by the people around you than you think… far more. Social contagion, the process by which emotions, behaviors, and ideas spread through groups, isn’t something that happens only in tight-knit friendships. It happens in workplaces, classrooms, and even through the digital spaces we scroll through daily. Research shows that emotions like happiness and sadness ripple through social networks much like viruses (Rosenquist, Fowler, & Christakis, 2011). In professional settings, behaviors like rudeness or generosity can cascade across entire teams (Foulk et al., 2016). Among students, things like motivation and engagement are surprisingly contagious (Burgess, 2018). And the digital world isn’t exempt. A now-famous Facebook experiment found that users’ emotions could be influenced simply by adjusting the tone of the content they were exposed to (Kramer, Guillory, & Hancock, 2014), without their awareness (ethically questionable). The takeaway is that what surrounds you, both physically and digitally, shapes how you feel, think, and act. Even when you believe you’re making entirely independent decisions, the influence is already at work. So be really conscious of who you’re time with, and how they’re either ‘good’ for you, or not. And if they’re not, try to limit exposure for the sake of your energy, your beliefs, and your motivation. P.S. Would you say you’re aware of who’s really influencing you? Research: Rosenquist, J. N., Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2011). Social network determinants of depression. Molecular Psychiatry, 16, 273–281. Foulk, T. A., Woolum, A. H., & Erez, A. (2016). Catching rudeness is like catching a cold: The contagion effects of low-intensity negative behaviors. Journal of Applied Psych, 101(1), 50–67. Burgess, L. G., Riddell, P. M., Fancourt, A., & Murayama, K. (2018). The influence of social contagion within education: A motivational perspective. Mind, Brain, and Education, 12(4), 164-174. Kramer, A. D. I., Guillory, J. E., & Hancock, J. T. (2014). Experimental evidence of massive-scale emotional contagion through social networks. PNAS, 111(24), 8788–8790.

Here’s 14 things that can be invisible to men in the workplace And they all involve women Men rarely notice That women are more likely To be interrupted To be on the outside of social workplace networks To be judged more harshly and punished for underperformance or mistakes To have their credentials or competence questioned or be expected to provide evidence To be promoted on previous performance rather than future potential To be negatively judged for being assertive or ambitious To be given non promotive tasks and work housework And that women are less likely To be sponsored or given similar progress opportunities To get space to contribute in meetings To be give clear, actionable feedback To be seen as deserving promotion to leadership To be given stretch projects and high profile assignments To be consider for promotive work when they are mothers To have airtime with those most senior in their organisation I can honestly say I wasn’t noticing these in my early career. A lot of my focus went on following the advice of working twice as hard, as a young Black lad from a lower socioeconomic background. My own microaggressions blurred my vision of gender biases. And if you can’t see them, and they don’t happen to you, how can you challenge them? Studies show that men’s awareness and ability to act is four times higher after they partake in allyship training which highlights gender biases and microaggressions. Suddenly they see inequity they couldn’t see before. And they can’t unsee it. The opportunities to tackle them increase, practicing the skills of allyship. Having been through that process myself I can say that taking the blindfold off is an uncomfortable reality check But it is also empowering, and makes your curious about what else you might not be seeing. A world that was black and white, suddenly was a world full of colour And this is just one of the reasons why I’m passionate about bringing allyship to organisations and stages across the country Becoming accomplices, rather than opposition Because everyone benefits when we shine a light on each others blind spots What would you add to the list?

🥊 “Jingjin, have you ever considered that women are just inferior to men?” That was her opening line. The lady who challenged me was not a traditionalist in pearls. She was one of the top investment bankers of her time, closed billion-dollar deals, led global teams, the kind of woman whose voice dropped ten degrees when money was on the line. And she meant it. “Back in my day, if I had to hire, I’d always go for the man. No pregnancy leave. No PMS. No emotional volatility. Just less… liability.” And she doesn’t believe in what I do. Helping women lead from a place of wholeness. Because to her, wholeness is a luxury. Winning requires neutrality. And neutrality means: be less female and suck it up! I’ve heard versions of this many times, and too often, from high-performing women who "made it" by suppressing. But facts are: 🧠 There are no consistent brain differences between men and women that explain men’s “logic” or women’s “emotions.” 💥 Hormones impact everyone. Men’s testosterone drops when they nurture. Women’s cortisol rises in toxic workplaces, not because they’re weak, but because they’re sane. 📉 What we call “meritocracy” is often a reward system for those who can perform like they have no body, no children, no cycles. None of those are biologically male traits. They’re artifacts of a system built around male lives. So, if you're a woman who's bought into this logic, here are some counter-strategies: 🛠 1. Study Systems Like You Studied Deals Dissect the incentives, norms, and bias loops of your workplace the same way you’d break down a P&L. Don’t internalize what’s structural. 🧭 2. Redefine Strategic Strengths Stop mirroring alpha aggression to prove you belong. Deep listening, self-regulation, and nuance reading, these are leadership assets, not soft skills. Use them ruthlessly. 💬 3. Name It, Don’t Numb It If your hormones impact you one day a month, say so, but also say what it doesn’t mean: It doesn’t cancel out 29 days of clarity, strategy, and execution. 🪩 4. Build Your Own Meritocracy Start investing in spaces, networks, and cultures where your wholeness isn’t penalized. If none exist, build them. 🧱 5. Deconstruct Before You Self-Doubt When you catch yourself thinking “maybe I’m not built for this,” pause. Ask: Whose rules am I trying to win by? Who benefits when I question myself? This post isn’t about defending women. We don’t need defending. It’s about calling out the internalised metrics we still use to measure ourselves. 👊 And choosing to rewrite them. What’s the most 'rational' reason you’ve heard for why women are a liability?