Transformative 1:1 Meetings

Your next 1-on-1 is either building trust or breaking it. Most managers treat them like status updates. Most employees see them as obligations. After years of leading teams through growth and crisis, I've learned the truth: The best 1-on-1s aren't meetings. They're investments in human potential. When done right, these 30 minutes can transform: • Disengaged employees into champions • Surface problems become solutions • Good performers into great leaders Here's how to make every 1-on-1 count: For Managers: 1/ Start human, not tactical "What's on your mind?" beats "What's your update?" every time. Let them drive the agenda first. 2/ Listen like your success depends on it Because it does. Their challenges are your early warning system. Their wins are your team's momentum. 3/ Ask the question that matters "What support do you need?" Then actually provide it. Trust compounds when promises are kept. For Employees: 1/ Come with intention This is your time. Own it. Bring your real challenges, not just safe updates. 2/ Share what's actually blocking you Your manager can't fix what they can't see. But come with potential solutions too. It shows you're thinking, not just venting. 3/ Talk about tomorrow, not just today Where do you want to grow? What skills are you building? Make your development their priority. Great 1-on-1s don't just review work. They build relationships. They surface insights. They prevent fires instead of fighting them. The game-changer most miss: End every 1-on-1 with absolute clarity: 📌 What are the next steps? 📌 Who owns what? 📌 When will we check progress? Vague endings create frustrated teams. Your people don't need another meeting. They need a moment where someone truly sees them, hears them, and helps them win. Give them that, and watch what happens. What's one thing that transformed your 1-on-1s? ♻️ Repost if this changes how you approach 1-on-1s Follow Desiree Gruber for more insights on storytelling, leadership, and brand building.

After 15 years of managing teams, here's the framework I use to turn awkward 1:1s into sessions my team actually looks forward to: 1) Start on a high “What was your biggest win this month?” This isn't just feel-good fluff. When team members know I'll ask this question, they spend the entire month working toward wins we can celebrate together. If someone can’t name a win, that’s data. Now I know where to support. 2) Move to challenges “What’s been your biggest challenge lately?” or “What’s keeping you up at night?” Let them bring up the tough stuff first. You shift from a “me vs. you” vibe to a “we’ll solve it together” mindset. 3) Open the door “Tell me about you. How’s everything going?” This invites what doesn’t fit neatly on a status report: schedule needs, personal context, unspoken worries. Bonus questions I keep in my back pocket: • "How do you feel the team is doing?" • "Which team members do you wish you had more connection with?" • "What are your goals for this month?" • "How can I support you in growing toward those goals?" I conclude the call with a meta-question most managers skip: “What do you wish I asked you more often?” I learn whether they want more help on productivity, learning, career path, or just time to think together. These questions aren't scripts. They're starting points for real conversations. What's your go-to question for connecting with your team?

The 6 Coaching Questions Every Manager Should Use in 1:1s (Save this, you'll use it every week.) I used to think being a manager meant having all the answers. When I worked in finance, my team came to me constantly: “Can you review this?” “Is this the right approach?” “What do you think I should do?” I was flattered at first. I felt useful. Needed. Competent. But inside, I was exhausted. I wasn’t empowering people. I was making them dependent on me. So I shifted. I stopped jumping in with solutions. I started asking coaching questions instead. And people grew. They took ownership. They became leaders. After managing teams and coaching leaders across London, Singapore, Paris, and Hong Kong, these are the 6 coaching questions that consistently transform 1:1s: 1️⃣ What would meaningful progress look like this week? 2️⃣ Where are you stuck or under-supported? 3️⃣ Which skill do you want to level up this month? 4️⃣ If you were mentoring someone in your role, what advice would you give them? 5️⃣ What would make this 10% easier? 6️⃣ What conversation are you avoiding? You can find the full cheat sheet in the image. Save it for your next 1:1. Share it with a manager who wants to grow. And tell us: What would you add in #7? #leadership #coaching #leaderascoach #growth

Senior leaders: It’s time to stop having so many 1:1s. Yes, I said it. And I’ve said it 𝘵𝘰 CEOs, COOs, and executive teams across industries a thousand times. Why? Because too many 1:1s at the top don’t align or accelerate anything—they fragment decision-making, reinforce silos, and often become political currency cloaked in “access.” I’ve seen it firsthand in my client work. When execs spend their days in private conversations, the organization ends up needing a translator just to keep up. I’ve been advising leaders for years to shift from private, function-based conversations to shared, capability-based ones. It’s more efficient, yes—but it’s also more honest, strategic, and aligned with how value is actually created. In my latest piece for Harvard Business Review, I share what happens when you make this shift—with examples from leaders like Melissa, who found that 𝘩𝘦𝘳 1:1s weren’t just draining her capacity—they were undermining her team’s cohesion. Here’s my take on this: 𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 1:1𝘴 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘺—𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭. 𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 1:2 𝘰𝘳 1:3 “𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺” 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴. 𝘍𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘰—𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮-𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴. You don’t need more meetings. You need the right people in the room, listening for the right reasons. What have you seen excessive 1x1s at the senior level do in your organizations or the ones you support? https://hubs.la/Q03wm5Hg0 #leadership #meetings #culture #productivity

Brian Chesky's advice might be right for some CEOs. But here's why it's wrong for managers: Please don't give up your 1-on-1 meetings. They're your highest ROI meetings if you do them right. Unfortunately, most people have a crap map for 1:1s: 🚩They tend to be status updates 🚩They tend to be led top-down 🚩They tend to be canceled If you put garbage in, you should expect garbage out. Instead... ✅ Move status updates to a dashboard ✅ Move ownership to the employee ✅ Move the meeting rarely Now let's refine this meeting by the level of manager. 1️⃣ Front-line or First-time Managers - 60% fail this transition - Expect them to need coaching - Don't burden them with finding ad hoc time 💡Tip: Use the meeting to teach them to optimize their operations. 2️⃣ Managers of Managers - They move from overseeing the work to overseeing managers - Hiring, firing, and development become the focus - Do they lead people or manage work? 💡Tip: Use the meeting to show them how to lead others. 3️⃣ Functional Leadership - Their system is getting increasingly abstract - Their focus is getting increasingly strategic - How far do you want to let them drift? 💡Tip: Use the meeting to offer context and coaching. 4️⃣ Executive Leadership - This is who Chesky is talking about overseeing - They should be able to act as CEO of their area - Most of their work is collaborative and long-term 💡Tip: Use the meeting like a board advises a CEO. Don't bail on your 1-on-1's because it works for a famous CEO. Learn from his thinking to build the system that helps you win. If you found this helpful, please ♻️ repost and follow Dave Kline for more.

Most 1:1s fall apart because they slowly turn into weekly status updates…or low-key therapy…or a mix of both. And once that happens, they start feeling VERY skippable. If you want your 1:1s to do more than just fill time, actually help your team learn and make progress, this is a format that actually works. Think of this as a guide, not a script. You won’t hit every point every time. A 1:1 format you can actually use every fortnight: 1️⃣ What’s been on your mind since we last spoke? Sets the tone. Human, not performative. 2️⃣ Where has work felt a bit stuck or harder than it needs to be? Keeps the conversation practical, not venty. 3️⃣ What are you trying to get better at right now? Keeps learning alive without turning the meeting into a goal-setting exercise. 4️⃣ What progress have you noticed, even small? Builds momentum without turning it into a performance review. 5️⃣ What’s one thing you want to move forward before we meet again? Light accountability with one clear next step. 6️⃣ What support do you need? No guessing plus support can come from anywhere. This works because it’s not about covering everything. It’s about making the time useful. Some weeks you’ll spend most of the 1:1 on one question. And some weeks you might move quickly through a few. Either way, you're having a way better conversation about learning and progress, plus what you both want out of work. If your 1:1s have been feeling a bit *optional* lately, try this next week. And if you know a manager whose 1:1s have quietly turned into calendar clutter, share this with them. #microlearing #managertips #workadvice

Most 1:1s suck—here’s how to fix them (And no, the answer isn’t “more meetings.”) → Stop using 1:1s for task updates—they belong in team meetings. → Focus on two things instead: psychological safety and individual growth. Most 1:1s are a missed opportunity. Instead of driving trust and performance, they become glorified status reports. This isn’t about guesswork. It’s about using a proven framework: My D.U.N.R Blueprint: Diversity – Unity – Norms – Rituals ✅ Rituals → Start with a real check-in: “How are you REALLY?” ✅ Unity → Reframe struggles as signs of growth and interconnectedness. ✅ Diversity → Highlight strengths and potential: “This is an unique value you bring” ✅ Norms → Set clear expectations for communication, risk-taking and ownership. When leaders stop treating 1:1s as status updates and start using them to build trust and growth, teams shift from compliance to commitment—from playing it safe to taking smart risks. I’ve seen this shift transform teams into high-performing powerhouses. How do you use your 1:1s—with a task focus or a growth focus? 🔔 Follow me for more insights on inclusive, high-performing teams. ___________________________________________________ 🌟 If you're new here, hi! :) I’m Susanna. I help companies build an inclusive culture with high-performing and psychologically safe teams.

If your 1:1s with your manager feel like status updates, you’re wasting your best opportunity for growth. A great 1:1 isn’t a recap. It’s a strategy session. A career checkpoint. A space to align, get support, and surface what actually matters. Here’s how to level up your 1:1s: 1. Come with a short, clear agenda. Highlight progress, blockers, and one area where you want input. Don’t wait for them to steer, lead the conversation. 2. Share impact, not just activity. Instead of “I fixed X bug,” say, “I unblocked the launch by resolving X issue, which let Y team ship on time.” 3. Surface patterns, not just problems. Instead of, “This sprint feels chaotic,” try: “I’ve noticed we’ve missed 3 sprint goals in a row, can we talk about scope planning?” 4. Make space for growth. Ask: • “What would it take to be seen as staff-level here?” • “Where should I focus if I want to expand my scope this quarter?” 5. Keep a running doc. Track what you discussed, what you committed to, and feedback you received. It’ll be gold when review season comes around. Because your manager can’t support a goal you haven’t shared. And they can’t advocate for progress they haven’t seen. Use your 1:1s wisely, and they’ll stop being routine. They’ll start accelerating your career. Help me share this post and let’s help other advance in their careers.

The one-to-one is not for your benefit. When I first started doing one-to-ones, I treated them like a status update. I thought they were a time to review tasks and talk about project progress. This isn't completely wrong. But I missed the point. One-to-ones are their time - not yours. They're a space for your team to reflect, vent, ask questions, and share things that may not come up in group settings. Once I made this shift, the conversations changed completely. We talked about what was bothering them that week. A meeting they felt nervous about. Even things that were happening outside of work that was affecting them inside work. I still got what I needed in most of them - but it didn't start with being about me. So if your one-to-ones still feel like another meeting on the calendar, try asking: ‘What’s on your mind?’ And just listen. You’ll be surprised at what comes up.

Through my Engineering Success Podcast at DevDynamics and working closely with engineering leaders, I’ve had the chance to speak with 200+ Tech leaders and CTOs from growth-stage startups. The way they approach 1:1s is nothing like the “textbook” method, and it’s brilliant. Here’s what I learned about their approach: 1️⃣ The “Look Back, Look Ahead” Format Instead of getting into daily updates, they dedicate time to two specific areas: Look Back: Recap the past month’s challenges, progress, and any learning moments. Look Ahead: Discuss upcoming milestones, skill growth, and their engineer’s long-term goals. 2️⃣ Less Status Updates, More “Personal Growth Talk” They avoid project check-ins here, that’s for team meetings. 1:1s are about the engineer’s growth path. What tools will get them closer to the next level? What’s slowing them down? The focus shifts from “What did you do?” to “Where are you headed?” 3️⃣ Scheduled “Unstructured” Time One of the best hacks? They allocate 10 minutes at the end of each 1:1 for any topic their engineer wants to discuss, work or otherwise. This time often reveals insights that structured agendas miss. 4️⃣ Customized to Personality Type Introverts prefer reflecting on paper, while extroverts benefit from free-flow discussions. They’ve even adjusted frequency based on personality, some engineers have monthly check-ins, others bi-weekly. 5️⃣ Follow-Up Through Actions Set follow-ups in the calendar. If a challenge was discussed, they’ll check in again in two weeks, turning words into measurable steps. Every 1:1 becomes a little system in itself, and it’s working for some of the besting performing teams. Have you tried any of these approaches? P.S. Do check the latest episode of the engineering success podcast with Pranabjyoti Bordoloi from Junglee Games. P.S. 2 - Unrelated photo - someone said photos work better on Linkedin