Creating a Mentorship Program at Work

Consider the challenges that my colleagues and I come up against in the leaders with whom we work: uncertainty, prioritization, conflict aversion, authenticity, the hunger to be liked, balancing empathy with accountability, fear of being called out on social media, and navigating competing demands from multiple stakeholders. Or the challenges that recur in their organizations, such as decision-making, prioritization, collaboration, disengagement, and burnout. The apparent problem is rarely the underlying problem. What most leaders don’t recognize is how much what they’re feeling and struggling with internally is influencing the way they show up externally. Treat symptoms with behavioral solutions or quick fixes, and any relief they provide will be temporary at best. The challenges inevitably reoccur, much as weeds resurface after they’ve been pulled from a garden. My team and I worked with the senior team at a company that had struggled for two years with trying to create a decision rights framework. Each new solution seemed promising, and each one failed. They kept spinning. The core problem turned out to be that the CEO felt insecure about making any important decision. By becoming more aware of earlier events in his life that drove his insecurity but no longer applied, and by homing in on the values he held most dear, he progressively gained confidence in his instincts. Most every issue that we face, and struggle to resolve, has roots in our own doubts about our worthiness, and in our tendency to look outside ourselves for answers. These are questions we regularly ask all our coaching clients when they’re struggling: 1. What are you not seeing? 2. What part of what you’re feeling – or avoiding feeling – is a reflection of something you’re bringing to the present from experiences that happened in the past? 3. Rather than seeking certainty, can you create space for all of what you’re feeling, and tap into your core capacity to do the next right thing? #excecutivecoaching #leadership #selfreflection

🍔 I watched 10-year-olds design a business that would fail in days. The mentor who let it happen taught me a lot about weak leadership: Twenty years ago, I was living in the US working on GE's Corporate Audit Staff. A group of us and other leaders in the area volunteered with underprivileged kids in a tough neighbourhood, teaching about 30 ten-year-olds the fundamentals of running a business. We split into small groups. Each team needed to create a business idea, name their company, and work out their products with pricing. Then they'd present to everyone. One group stood up proudly. Their business name? McDonalds. Their product? Hamburgers. Cost to make each one? $4.95. Selling price? 95 cents. The room went quiet. We mentors looked at each other, then at their group's mentor. They'd clearly done a terrible job giving feedback. Those kids had no idea they'd just designed a business that would lose $4 on every single sale. The mentor had been "nice" instead of helpful. And those kids left that session having learned absolutely nothing about how business actually works. I think about this moment whenever I see leaders avoiding difficult conversations with their teams. You're not being kind when you: → Let someone continue down the wrong path because the conversation feels uncomfortable → Avoid telling them their "hamburgers" are priced at a loss → Say "great work" when you actually mean "this needs significant revision" Here's what actually helps: 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 🤝 Direct feedback is so much easier when you've invested in the relationship. When people know you genuinely want the best for them and their career, they're far more likely to listen and act on your feedback. And it becomes easier for you to give it too, because that foundation of trust changes the entire dynamic of the conversation. 𝗕𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 💡 "I can see you've put thought into this, but let's work through the numbers together. What happens if it costs $4.95 to make and you sell it for 95 cents?" 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹-𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 Waiting until the formal presentation (or the annual review) is too late. The best learning happens as close to in the moment as possible. 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 "This is how you learn" is very different from "this is wrong". Frame feedback as the pathway to getting better. 𝗕𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 "The pricing model doesn't work" is helpful. "Good effort" when the pricing model doesn't work is not. The courage to give honest feedback is a leadership skill worth developing and can avoid hours of rework or unnecessary work. Those kids deserved better than a mentor who was too uncomfortable to help them learn. Your team deserves better too. What's your go-to approach when you need to deliver feedback that might sting? 

When coaching professionals who ask, “How do I build trust with senior leadership and create a strong ally network?” my advice always centers on one powerful principle: focus on building genuine trust. First, it’s not just about getting in front of senior leaders; it’s about understanding what matters to them. Show care by learning their priorities, understanding the problems they are working to solve, and being genuinely interested in their vision. This is where trust begins. People often wonder, “How do I even reach them?” Start by showing up. This might mean speaking up during a town hall, even when it feels daunting. Ask a well-thought-out, curious question that shows you’ve done your homework. It might be something simple, but it demonstrates your interest in the issues that matter to them - and that builds respect and trust. If you have expertise, share it. If you don’t, show curiosity. Trust isn’t built overnight, but it starts with showing that you care about what they care about. Remember, networking is more than visibility-it’s building meaningful connections based on trust.

Executive relationships aren’t built in boardrooms — they’re built in small, consistent moments of trust. Having worked closely with CXOs from Fortune 500 companies, I’ve seen firsthand how trust can translate into long-term business impact. Over the years, I’ve come to rely on what I call the PVR framework as my north star for building these relationships: 1️⃣Preparation: Do your homework. Know their story and know it well. That could mean reading their latest post, noting a book they’re working on, or simply being aware of what’s top of mind for them when you walk into a call. Executives can tell within minutes if you’ve come prepared — it sets the tone for respect. Before stepping into a conversation, ask yourself: what’s in it for them? 2️⃣Validation: In psychology, they say “to feel seen is to feel valued.” Show them you’re paying attention. If a recent idea, article, or insight of theirs resonated, bring it up in your next conversation. Not in a forced way, but in an honest, “this stayed with me” way — and here’s my take on it. Authenticity matters. For me, the goal has always been to grow relationships, not “nail” them. That’s the outcome, not the strategy. 3️⃣Recognition: Acknowledge what makes them stand out. Sometimes that’s celebrating a milestone, other times it’s reflecting back the unique perspective they bring. What I’ve found especially meaningful is noticing their unseen efforts; the way they back their teams and quietly create space for others to succeed. Even sharing a positive experience you’ve had with one of their team members goes a long way. It tells them you see the human behind the title and the difference they make every day. In my experience, what stays with leaders isn’t the polished deck or the perfect pitch — it’s the feeling of being seen, heard, and valued. That’s the real foundation of trust. I’d love to hear — what’s worked for you when it comes to building genuine executive trust? 🤝 #executiveengagement #csuite #strategicrelationships

Memoirs of a Gully Boy Episode 36: #Trust – The Foundation of Impactful Leadership Trust is the cornerstone of every successful relationship, whether it’s with your team, clients, or stakeholders. It’s the invisible currency that fosters collaboration, inspires loyalty, and drives meaningful results. Earning Trust in the Early Days In one of my first leadership roles, I was tasked with managing a team of seasoned professionals who were skeptical about my approach. I knew that earning their trust wouldn’t happen overnight. Instead of asserting authority, I spent the initial weeks observing, listening, and understanding their challenges. When I finally proposed changes, they were based on what I had learned from the team. The response was overwhelmingly positive because they felt heard and respected. Trust wasn’t built with grand gestures but through small, consistent actions that demonstrated empathy and accountability. Lesson 1: Trust is earned through listening and delivering on promises, not by demanding it. Building Client Trust in a Crisis A project for a major client once faced an unexpected technical failure just days before launch. The client was understandably frustrated, and tensions ran high. Instead of deflecting blame or downplaying the issue, I took full ownership, provided a transparent timeline for resolution, and kept them updated at every step. This approach turned a potentially damaging situation into an opportunity to strengthen the relationship. The client appreciated the honesty and accountability, and our partnership grew stronger as a result. Lesson 2: Trust thrives on transparency, especially in challenging times. Empowering Teams Through Trust Trust isn’t just about earning it for yourself—it’s about extending it to others. During a high-pressure system migration project, I delegated critical tasks to team members who were relatively new. While some questioned the decision, I trusted their capabilities and provided the necessary support. Their performance exceeded expectations, and the project was a resounding success. That experience reinforced that trust empowers individuals to rise to challenges and reach their potential. Lesson 3: Trust isn’t a risk; it’s an investment in people’s growth and confidence. Sustaining Trust Through Integrity Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild. Over the years, I’ve learned that the simplest way to sustain trust is to lead with integrity. Whether it’s meeting deadlines, delivering quality, or admitting mistakes, consistency in actions speaks louder than words. In one instance, a client project faced delays due to unforeseen challenges. Rather than overpromising and underdelivering, I laid out a realistic plan and ensured that every milestone was met thereafter. That consistency solidified trust, even in difficult circumstances. Lesson 4: Trust is maintained through unwavering integrity and consistent follow-through. To be continued...

💡 The Unexpected Lesson in Leadership; from a Simple Puddle Three children walking on a wet path. Two of them; smaller, hesitant, stood still before a puddle too wide to cross. The third, a little older, quietly bent down, lifted them one by one, and carried them across. A simple act. Yet a powerful reminder of what leadership truly means in any organization. 1️⃣ Empathy Over Expertise The boy didn’t stop to lecture or criticize. He didn’t say, “You should have jumped higher.” He simply saw the problem and acted with empathy. That’s leadership. Because in real workplaces, not everyone moves at the same pace or has the same confidence. Leaders who pause to understand before they push; who help their team cross the puddle; build loyalty that no skill training alone can achieve. 2️⃣ The Power of Psychological Safety When he carried them, the younger kids knew they were safe; they wouldn’t slip or be left behind. That’s psychological safety in action. In teams, this translates to trust. When employees feel their manager “has their back,” they take initiative, innovate more, and fear less. They don’t freeze at the puddle; they find ways to cross it together. 3️⃣ Mentorship Is a Verb, Not a Title Notice how the boy didn’t just help once and move on. He went back, again and again, until everyone was safely across. That’s the difference between mentorship and management. Real mentors walk with you through the challenge, not just talk from the other side. In HR and L&D, we see it every day; growth happens when support is visible and consistent. 🧭 The Takeaway Leadership isn’t about how fast you cross. It’s about how many people you help reach the other side. So next time you notice a colleague stuck at their version of a puddle, a skill gap, a tough project, or self-doubt; don’t just point to the goal. Offer the bridge. Or be the bridge. 💬 Question for you: What’s one “puddle moment” where you stepped in; or someone did for you; that changed how you see leadership? #Leadership #HR #Empathy #Teamwork #Mentorship #PsychologicalSafety #LearningAndDevelopment #OrganizationalCulture #PeopleFirst

Organizations spend an estimated $160 billion annually in the U.S. and over $366 billion globally on leadership development programs. Yet, only 25% of organizations think their leadership development programs are successful. (Research from Brandon Hall Group) Let me tell you the reason this gap exists (and how to change it): Too many programs focus on how to deliver content to their team members. But there's a problem with even the best content. Only 10% of training is retained when not reinforced through real-world application (per a study cited in the HBR). Even the best leadership content will stay just that... they are simply ideas. These theories will stay theories until leadership development programs integrate ways to implement them into the day-to-day of participants through real-world application. That's why I believe most organizations focus too much on leadership training content. Even world-class content falls short when there's not a bridge built between theories and application. To get to the core of that behavior change, we need to build the bridge. That looks like: 1. Adapting content to be more strategic and integrate real business challenges that exist. When we're solving real problems, it stops being about theory. That means content may change real-time, even during a session. 2. Creating community through cohort-based learning. When we do leadership development, it's more important to create long-term resources than provide short-term content fixes. Community and mentorship create active conversation around how we want to choose to lead inside our organizations. 3. Build real-time resources for participants. This might look like conversation starters for 1-on-1s, changing team meetings to adapt content theories into practice, or providing participants access to coaches as they go through real-time challenges. Just-in-time learning is key as we go to make changes to our behavior. If you're investing in leadership development programs at your company, think about the bridges you're building between the content and your business. How easy is it for participants to see and implement new behaviors into their day-to-day? What do you think? Do you think content is king? Or do you think other components matter more for behavior-change effectiveness?

Ramzan brought a brief pause to my usual 9 to 5 learning interventions, but the learning never really stopped. Instead, the slower pace created space for deeper reflection and many meaningful conversations with leaders, what we formally call coaching. One theme kept emerging: many leaders feel quite confident about their “open communication policy.” “My door is always open!” But when I ask a simple follow-up question, how many team members actually walk through that door, there’s usually a pause. The honest answer is often: very few. The idea of an open door or open communication sounds positive, but in reality, it rarely builds trust. It quietly places the responsibility for starting difficult conversations on the team instead of the leader. It actually means: “Come to me when you’re ready.” Strong leadership, however, should send a different message: “I care enough to come to you first.” Trust isn’t built by open communication policies; it’s built through open conversations. The most effective leaders don’t wait for problems to arrive at their desk; they actively seek perspectives early, listen without judgment, and guide rather than simply direct. A few simple habits can make a real difference: 1. Walk the floor, without talking about work. Ask about people’s lives, interests, and aspirations. A few minutes of genuine curiosity can go a long way (the younger workforce has lots of interesting things to share!) 2. Start one on ones with a human check-in, not a project update. Questions like “What are you proud of this week?” or “What’s been challenging lately?” often open the door to real dialogue, especially with younger team members (Gen Z!) 3. End meetings with a reverse check-in. Instead of “Any questions?” ask: “What’s one thing I could do better to support this project?” (sometimes, the best ideas are generated when support is visible) 4. Replace the open-door mindset with a visible, scheduled availability. Set aside time simply to connect with your team, without an agenda. Be a coach and a mentor (these are essential leadership traits). This is what distinguishes leaders who truly guide their teams from those who simply manage them. And in today’s workplace, especially with a younger workforce, strong leadership is less about waiting for problems and more about creating connection, curiosity, and guidance every day. How are you showing up for your team today, even when there’s no urgent problem knocking at your door?

When I started out as a young diplomat, reaching out to senior colleagues felt terrifying. I didn’t want to seem unprepared or annoying, even though I had so many questions—how does the State Department really work? How do I navigate the bidding process to find my next role every 1-3 years? How do I lead effectively when I’m still figuring everything out myself? But here’s what I learned: most people remember what it’s like to be in your shoes. And so many are more than willing to help if you just ask. Once I got over the fear of reaching out, I found mentors who guided me through some of the toughest parts of my career, like: • Building influence in a large, bureaucratic organization. • Managing multi-million-dollar budgets and teams. • Learning how to have those hard but necessary conversations. • Balancing work and life as I became a parent. • Mentoring others as I moved into leadership roles. What’s key is realizing that mentorship is not a one-way street. A strong mentor-mentee relationship is a partnership where both sides learn and grow. Mentors gain insight into what emerging leaders are thinking, experiencing, and innovating. Mentees get the clarity, confidence, and strategy to move forward in their careers. The best advice I’ve received came from mentors who weren’t like me (or didn’t look like me)at all, who brought fresh perspectives and pushed me to see opportunities I hadn’t considered. And mentorship isn’t just casual coffee chats—it works best when it’s structured. Formal check-ins, shared goals, and mutual accountability make a world of difference. That structure helps you grow faster and ensures both sides get something valuable out of the relationship. The truth? The hardest part is asking for help. After that, the possibilities are endless. So, don’t hesitate—reach out, build those connections, and see where it takes you. It could change your career, just like it changed mine.

🌟 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐞𝐭𝐞-à-𝐓𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 ™! 🔍 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: I was promoted to a leadership role within the last year, how can I navigate the challenge of recognizing and addressing gaps in my leadership skills without feeling vulnerable or jeopardizing my position within the organization? 📝 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞: Your question within itself is already you working to address the gaps you mentioned, and it took vulnerability for you to reach out! It is very common for leaders, whether newly appointed or not, to face challenges when it comes to recognizing and addressing gaps in their leadership skills. Here's how you can navigate this: 💡 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭: The path to change starts with acknowledgement and recognizing that the leadership journey is one of continuous learning and growth is a great start! It is normal for all people to have areas of development and seeking out opportunities to address those areas is a sign of strength, not weakness. 💡 𝐀𝐬𝐤 (𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲) 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤: Actively seek feedback from your team members, peers, supervisors, and direct reports (if you have them) to gain insights into your leadership strengths and opportunity areas. 💡 𝐒𝐞𝐭 𝐆𝐨𝐚𝐥𝐬: Once you’ve gotten insights from others, coupled with your own, identify specific areas where you'd like to improve and set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals to guide your development efforts. Enlist accountability partners to help you stay on the course and bring awareness to how you are progressing. 💡 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮: Take proactive steps to invest in your leadership development. If there are areas you believe are gaps, e.g., managing others, understanding an aspect of the business, managing up, there are ways you can support your own growth. Consider whether attending leadership training programs, workshops, or seminars, as well as mentorship or coaching may be able to support you. 💡 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐕𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲: Vulnerability, though for some uncomfortable is part of the leadership journey, and admitting your areas for growth can foster trust and authenticity with your team. People will help, but they need to first know you need help. ⚡ 𝐇𝐑 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐬/𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐝𝐝? If you missed last week's Tete-à-Tete, check it out here: https://lnkd.in/eVWkxGWU For a chance to have your workplace or leadership question featured and answered next week, don’t forget to DM me or comment (if you’re comfortable) with your question on this post (tag me) before 5pm EST this Friday, May 10th. #TeteATeteTuesdays #HRInsights #LeadershipDevelopment