Networking To Access Hidden Job Market

Let’s talk about the difference between networking and using. On the surface, they can look the same. But the outcomes couldn’t be more different. Networking can be the unlock that advances your career. Rooted in genuine connection, it’s how people get into the right rooms. How they learn faster. How they sharpen their skills and create more opportunities for themselves, and the people around them. But using? That’s how reputations get damaged. It happens when the ask is bigger than the value you bring. When the relationship begins and ends with: “What can you do for me?” One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is going for the ask too early. They see someone successful and assume that success gives them permission to make a bigger request. But the strongest, most enduring relationships I’ve built happened very differently. They were built on generosity. Supporting people. Celebrating their wins. Making introductions. Creating value wherever I could. And here’s the important part… This doesn’t mean relationships should stay one-sided forever. Healthy networks become reciprocal over time. When you consistently show up with value, trust grows. And once that trust is established, support naturally flows both ways. That’s when networking becomes truly powerful. What’s the best networking lesson you’ve learned? 👇🏾

Every morning starts the same way: with Nash expecting (demanding?) some deep, uninterrupted eye contact. We look into each other’s eyes, and I smile at her with love while she probably thinks about cheese. But nevertheless, we start each day connected, caring, and calm. Now, I know direct eye contact isn’t for everyone. For some, it might feel unnatural, uncomfortable, or even culturally inappropriate. And while eye contact is one way to make a meaningful connection with colleagues, clients, family, and friends, it’s not the only way. If you’re looking to build more empathy, trust, and rapport, here are 5 tips to consider — many of which I learned in coaching school: 1. Listen like you mean it Put down your phone and close your laptop. Stop mentally rehearsing your response. Active listening means being fully present, asking follow-up questions, and reflecting back what you’ve heard. When someone feels genuinely heard, connection happens naturally. 2. Match their energy Pay attention to someone’s pace, tone, and body language, then gently mirror it. If they’re speaking softly, lower your volume. If they lean in, lean in too. This subtle synchronization creates a sense of being on the same wavelength without saying a word about it. 3. Show up consistently Trust isn’t built in grand gestures but in small, repeated actions. Return calls when you say you will. Remember details from previous conversations. Follow through on commitments. Reliability is one of the most underrated connection builders out there. 4. Use your words wisely Sometimes the simplest phrases create the deepest impact: “Tell me more about that,” “That sounds really hard,” or “I appreciate you sharing this with me.” Naming what you observe or feel can bridge gaps that feel like chasms. 5. Respect their communication style Some people connect through storytelling, others through problem-solving, and some through comfortable silence. Notice what makes someone light up or relax, then meet them there. Connection isn’t about what works for you; it’s about what works between you. Meaningful connection has less to do with where you’re looking and everything to do with how you’re showing up. Nash might be thinking about cheese during our morning ritual, but she’s also teaching me that presence, even in its simplest form, matters. #empathy #relationships #coaching

Don't call customer service soft skills. This 3-part framework makes them just skills. 📚A quick history lesson before we dive in... The term "soft skills" likely originated with the U.S. Army in the 1960s. The Continental Army Command regulation 350-100-1 defined them this way: "job related skills involving actions affecting primarily people and paper, e.g., inspecting troops, supervising." Over time, "soft skills" have come to mean two things to trainers: 1. Interpersonal skills, like customer service 2. Vague skills that are hard to define or measure 🫤 It's the second part that hurts training. You can't consistently train or evaluate a skill that isn't clearly defined or measurable. In 1972, the Continental Army Command held a soft skills training conference to tackle this issue. Dr. Paul G. Whitmore from HumRRO (a contractor) presented a framework to make soft skills easier to evaluate: 1. What is the purpose of the skill? 2. What are typical situations where this skill is used? 3. What behaviors will successfully achieve the purpose? This framework works really well for customer service skills. 🤝 Let's use rapport as an example. The scenario is receptionists at a health club: 1. What is the purpose of building rapport with customers? ↳ Rapport creates a positive experience that encourages prospective members to join, encourages existing members to renew, and makes it easier to quickly solve problems. 2. What are typical situations where rapport is used? ↳ Examples where the health club receptions might use rapport skills include: ✅ Welcoming new and prospective members ✅ Greeting existing members ✅ Assisting members with membership-related issues 3. What specific rapport behaviors should receptionists exhibit? ↳ A few things might be on this list: (1) Use welcoming body language, such as a friendly wave and a smile. (2) Give visitor a friendly greeting such as "Welcome," "Good morning!", or "Hey (name of member)!" (3) Learn and use member names (4) Demonstrate an interest in the member Yes, this takes a bit more effort upfront to define each customer service skill. Here's the payoff: Clear expectations + consistent training + easy evaluation = Skills

Too many sellers inadvertently lower their status in their attempts to "build rapport" with prospects.  Here's how you gain your prospect's RESPECT in the first 90 seconds of a call: First, let's look at how 90% of sellers try to build rapport: "𝘚𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮?" "𝘛𝘰𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴, 𝘩𝘶𝘩? 𝘕𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳!" "𝘏𝘰𝘸'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘓𝘈 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺?" ^Sports/Weather/Location based rapport isn't really rapport. It's schmoozing, and your prospect can see through that BS. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 '𝗲𝗺 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗹𝗲, just like every other seller who talks about the exact same stuff! If you're OK being treated like a run of the mill salesperson, by all means continue to schmooze. For those of us who'd like different results, read on. --- The easiest way to build rapport is to show you respect your prospect's time + know something about their business. You can do this by following the 90 second rule: 𝗦𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝗗𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝟭.𝟱 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. Examples: 1. For health insurance, we might comment on a new location opening: "𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘚𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘯. 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 3𝘳𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳?" ^New office = more employees who are going to need insurance. -- 2. For our Club Pass sales training program, we'll might comment on something we read on a job posting for an AE: "𝘋𝘢𝘯, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘑𝘋 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘕𝘛 𝘈𝘌 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘏𝘰𝘸'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨?" ___ To be clear, there's nothing wrong with bonding over a shared love of the Buffalo Bills, but let that be the cherry on top to your demonstration of prep + respect for their time, not the only way you build rapport. 

Mentorship isn’t a one-way street. It’s a reciprocal exchange. We often think of mentorship as a senior-to-junior relationship where one person “teaches” and the other “learns.” But the most impactful mentorships I’ve seen are two-way. When a founder seeking guidance partners with a mentor who’s also open to learning, both grow. It’s a balanced dynamic where insights, challenges, and perspectives flow in both directions. For example: - The mentee might bring fresh industry insights, innovative approaches, or new market trends. - The mentor provides battle-tested experience, guiding the mentee around common pitfalls and expanding their strategic view. - This exchange creates mutual respect and a deeper understanding. One that goes far beyond the conventional mentor-mentee dynamic. Here’s how to build reciprocal mentorship: - Be intentional about what you bring to the table. - Listen actively and be open to your mentor’s feedback and insights. - Share your own strengths and experiences in return, creating a genuine dialogue. - Reciprocal mentorship is transformative for both parties—and it builds a lasting network of allies and champions. Have you experienced a mentorship that went both ways? What made it work?

Short Leadership Story: How Missing Out on Key Influencers can Delay Success Before the coaching engagement, Ravi an Executive Director at a global tech firm, faced significant challenges that hindered his strategic initiatives and impactful outcomes. Ravi's Challenges: 1. Relying on Official Titles: Ravi initially depended on the formal organizational chart to identify decision-makers, missing key behind-the-scenes influencers. 2. Limited Networking Beyond His Function: His networking was confined to his own function, limiting his insights into broader organizational dynamics. 3. Overlooking Informal Communication Channels: Ravi relied primarily on formal meetings and official communications, missing crucial insights from informal interactions like coffee breaks and social events. The Coaching Journey When Ravi approached me for coaching, we embarked on a journey to enhance his executive presence and uncover hidden influencers within his organization. Here's how we did it: Step 1: Awareness & Reflection We started by raising Ravi’s awareness of the limitations of relying solely on official titles and hierarchical structures. Through reflective exercises and insightful discussions, Ravi realized the importance of looking beyond formal roles to uncover true influence and leadership, enhancing his executive presence. Step 2: Presence & Skill Development Next, we focused on honing Ravi’s observational skills and his ability to decipher communication patterns. I provided frameworks and tools to analyze meeting dynamics, identify influential behaviors, and decode subtle messages in informal communications, further strengthening his executive presence. Step 3: Relationship-Building Strategies Finally, we devised strategies for Ravi to expand his network beyond his department. We identified key stakeholders and functions critical to his strategic initiatives. Through practical exercises and role-playing scenarios, Ravi practiced initiating conversations, fostering rapport, and building meaningful relationships with influencers across the organization. Transformation and Impact Ravi's journey of self-awareness, skill development, and strategic relationship-building led to a profound transformation. His newfound insights not only elevated his executive presence but also empowered him to drive significant outcomes, fostering a culture of collaboration and innovation. As his coach, witnessing Ravi’s growth and impact was immensely gratifying. His success underscores the transformative power of executive presence coaching in unlocking leadership potential and achieving strategic goals. Reflective Questions: 1. Are you truly aware of the key influencers in your organization? 2. How can you apply these principles to enhance your own leadership journey and organizational influence while strengthening your executive presence? #LeadershipDevelopment #ExecutiveCoaching #OrganizationalInfluence #StrategicLeadership #BusinessImpact #ExecutivePresence

"I hate networking." I hear this all the time. And I get it. The idea of walking up to strangers at events, making small talk, and asking for favors feels forced and uncomfortable. But here's the truth: networking doesn't have to feel like networking. Here's how to build genuine connections without being awkward: Start with warm connections. Don't cold message strangers on LinkedIn. Start with: → Former colleagues → Alumni from your school → Mutual contacts who can introduce you → People you've worked with before These conversations are easier because there's already a foundation. Lead with offering value, not asking for favors. Don't start with: "Can you help me find a job?" Start with: "I saw your post about [topic] and thought you might find this article interesting." Or: "Congratulations on your new role! I'd love to hear how it's going." Give first. Ask later. Use LinkedIn to build relationships before asking for anything. Don't send a connection request and immediately ask for something. Instead: → Engage with their posts (thoughtful comments, not just "Great post!") → Share their content when it's relevant → Send a message just to catch up, no agenda Build the relationship over time. When you do reach out, make it easy for them. Don't say: "Can I pick your brain?" Say: "I'd love to hear about your experience at [Company]. Would you be open to a 20-minute coffee chat? I'm happy to work around your schedule." Be specific about what you're asking for and respect their time. Schedule "informational coffee chats" instead of calling it networking. Reframe it in your mind. You're not networking. You're: → Learning from someone's experience → Having a conversation about your industry → Building a relationship with someone interesting Take the pressure off yourself. Follow up and stay in touch; don't just reach out when you need something. After the conversation: → Send a thank you note within 24 hours → Share an article or resource they might find useful → Check in every few months (congratulate them on wins, share updates) Stay on their radar in a genuine way. The best networking doesn't feel transactional. It feels like building real relationships with people you respect. And those relationships? They're the ones that actually lead to opportunities. Save this post so you're ready to network without the awkwardness.

The competition isn't your enemy. Your biggest threat might be ignoring your allies. Many see business as a zero-sum game. But what if the key to success isn't outcompeting others, but lifting them up? In the agency world, where client acquisition is fierce, I've discovered a powerful truth: Focusing on allies is better than racing to the bottom over competitors. It's about creating an ecosystem of mutual benefit, not just a client list. Here are three recent examples from growing Etereo, our design subscription service, that illustrate the power of reciprocity: ▶ Unexpected Partnerships - A political strategy firm I've collaborated with for years became intrigued by Etereo. Instead of viewing them as potential competition, we struck a deal: marketing support for them, promotion for us. Result? They're now one of our highest-paying client/referral. ▶ Clients as Growth Engines - By prioritizing exceptional service and understanding our clients' needs deeply, they've become our best advocates. They not only refer new business but also increase their own spending. This is reciprocity in action - we deliver value consistently, and it comes back to us in multiples. ▶ Online Community Connections - Joining a tech/growth group and creating Linkedin connections has opened doors to new relationships, mutual support, and unforeseen opportunities. By asking tactical questions and showing genuine interest in others' success, I've built connections far beyond simple networking. The lesson? A robust network built on reciprocity is a powerful asset. Those you lift up today may become the pillars of your success tomorrow. It's not about immediate payback, but about fostering an environment of mutual growth and support. This approach requires a shift in mindset. Instead of asking "What can I get?", start with "What can I give?" Be the first to offer help, anticipate needs in your network, and focus on providing real value, not just exchanging business cards. Remember, in the world of business networking, what goes around truly does come around. By embracing reciprocity, we're not just building a network - we're cultivating an ecosystem where everyone can thrive. How has collaboration unexpectedly benefited your business? Share your experiences and let's continue lifting each other up.

Folks, stop prospecting strangers when your former customers already know your next 10 deals. I mean, sending hundreds of emails will get you 3 meetings booked. Maybe half a deal if you're lucky. Meanwhile, your best customer from 2024 just changed jobs and is sitting on a $300K budget at their new company. Warm introductions close 4x faster than cold outbound. They discount 23% less because you're not competing on price...you're competing on trust that was ALREADY established. Here are a few things every rep should be doing to leverage relationships you've already built: 1. Build relationship archaeology into your quarterly routine. Every 90 days, search LinkedIn for: - Past champions who changed jobs (there are any number of tools that do this). - Former colleagues now at target accounts. - Conference connections you never followed up with. - Lost deal contacts worth re-engaging. That person who went dark in 2023? They might be at a new company with budget now. The champion who left during a reorg? They probably remember how you handled the transition. Your network is constantly shifting. Track it or lose it. 2. Make referral requests specific. This one is critical. Don't say: "Do you know anyone who might need our services?" Say: "Hey Samantha - I noticed you're connected to [Prospect]. Would you happen to know them well enough to make an introduction? If so, I can draft a separate email, explaining why I'd like to meet, that you can forward to them to get their opt-in to meeting with me." 3. Turn customers into co-salespeople. Ask happy customers to join prospect calls as reference stories. Invite them to industry events where they can casually mention your partnership. Create case studies that position THEM as the hero, not your product. 4. Give before you get. Another big one. Relationship capital works like a bank account...you can't make withdrawals without deposits. Share industry insights with dormant connections before asking for anything. Send relevant articles to past champions. Make introductions between your contacts when it benefits THEM. Sure, building relationships takes time that feels unproductive in the short term. One coffee with an old contact might not pay off for 6 months. But when it does? It's a $200K deal that closes in 30 days instead of dragging through three months of cold outreach purgatory. Reps who spend 60% of their time nurturing existing relationships and 40% hunting new ones consistently outperform reps who flip that ratio. Cold outreach feels productive because it's measurable. Relationship building feels fuzzy because the ROI is delayed. But strangers buy on price. Relationships buy on TRUST. And trust closes faster, discounts less, and renews easier. Your network is definitely your net worth. It's ALSO the difference between grinding through cold calls and having your next five deals tee'd up by people who already vouch for you. Maybe stop ignoring it?

'Tis the season to give and receive’ My first graduate research assignment examined reciprocal relationships in networks. The finding: relationships built on mutual exchange were not just stronger. They were the only ones that survived. One-directional relationships collapsed under their own weight. Decades later, I am still thinking about that research. Some of us are natural givers. We ask "What do you need?" before voicing our own needs. We solve problems, work behind the scenes, show up consistently. But here is what I have learned: reciprocity is not about equal exchange. It is about mutual regard. It is the difference between a relationship where you are always asking "How can I help?" and one where someone occasionally turns that question back to you. Without that, even the best relationships become exhausting. The giver empties out. The receiver never develops the muscle of thinking about the other side. Connection becomes transaction. The strongest relationships are not where we stop showing up for each other. They are where both people are genuinely curious about what the other needs. Where care flows in more than one direction. That old research still holds. And so does Maya Angelou's wisdom: the relationships that endure are those where both sides made each other feel valued. This season, maybe the gift is not just what we give—it is also allowing others to give back.