Writing For Fitness Industry

Consider Promoting vs Restraining Forces When Persuading. When attempting to change a behavior or attitude, you must consider the action forces that promote and inhibit the change you are pursuing. Most persuasion efforts focus on promoting forces by explaining why you should make the change being suggested: Eat this broccoli because it will make you strong. Invest in this company so you can make great future returns. Drive this car so you can impress a prospective romantic partner. Promoting forces represent the benefits, incentives, or avoided negative outcomes of enacting the change. Most advertising promotes change. However, promoting forces are not always enough to effect change. You must consider the inhibiting or restraining forces that prevent someone from changing. In the broccoli battles I had, my kids understood very clearly the benefits of eating their greens and they were even excited by the elaborate rewards I concocted (e.g., each bite of broccoli translated to two bites of ice cream). However, they could not get beyond the texture and taste. These visceral responses prevented them from consuming the broccoli. With a little culinary cover up (e.g., dipping sauces and ice cream sprinkles), I was able to remove the restraining forces and achieve victory. Failing to address inhibitory forces can actually decrease the likelihood of behavior change. People can get very frustrated if they desire the change you are promoting but can’t get beyond the forces restraining the behavior. For example, consider a typical campaign to get sedentary people to exercise more. The promoting arguments are clear and desirable – greater health, more energy, etc. However, the lack of time and potential pain that comes with new exercise regimens can prevent people from starting. People bombarded solely with promoting messages might begin to resent those trying to help them be healthy since they are unable or unwilling to exercise. A more complete and effective campaign would focus not only on the benefits of exercise, but one developing less strenuous and less time consuming workouts.

A year ago, I was that guy—writing copy that sounded like a university thesis. Buzzwords, jargon, and enough fluff to fill a pillow factory. My readers? Confused. My conversions? Nonexistent. Then I stumbled upon brands like Moosejaw and BarkBox. Their copy felt like a friend texting me, not a robot pitching me. That’s when I realized: conversational copy isn’t just “casual.” It’s strategic. It builds trust, makes you memorable, and (most importantly) gets results. Here’s how brands like these taught me to write copy that clicks with people: Conversational copywriting is all about writing like you're talking—no jargon, no sales-y pitch. But how do you nail it? Here’s a guide based on brands that get it right. Thread 🧵 1/ Moosejaw Fun and quirky copy that hooks you instantly. Examples: ✔️ “We love NFTs (Nacho Fun Times).” ✔️ “Remember to season your concrete after shoveling snow.” ✔️ “No, our website isn’t powered by hamsters in wheels… yet.” Takeaway: Don't be afraid to let your personality shine—it’s what makes people remember you. 2/ BarkBox What do they sell? Adorable joy for dogs. ✔️ They use relatable humor + 100% satisfaction guarantees. ✔️ They speak their audience's language—dog parents, not just dog owners. Takeaway: Know your audience. Write for them, not at them. 3/ Innocent Drinks Natural products, natural tone. ✔️ They use ultra-specific details like “botanical” to emphasize quality. ✔️ They lean on transparency to eliminate buyer anxiety. Takeaway: Be real, and get specific—your audience will trust you more. 4/ OkCupid DTF? They redefine it. ✔️ Their copy flips expectations. ✔️ They invite users to define their version of dating. Takeaway: Play with cultural norms to create an emotional connection. 5/ Gymit Copy that feels like a casual gym chat. ✔️ They make gyms approachable—not intimidating. ✔️ The honesty in their tone makes them relatable to everyone, not just fitness buffs. Takeaway: Use language that removes barriers for your audience. 6/ Lego Timeless yet relevant. ✔️ Nostalgia meets values. ✔️ One ad paired a retro toy with a modern message about equality. Takeaway: Tie your brand’s history with current values to create powerful storytelling. Conversational copy isn’t magic—it’s empathy. Think: What would your audience actually want to hear? Then say that.

Persuasive writing doesn’t mean putting a gun at the reader’s head. Or… If you directly tell the reader to do, to buy, or to click with no valid reason first, they’re instantly out. I see a lot of content just focusing on the “do it” part. Well, I as a reader would think: ”Why should I do it? Is it good enough? If yes, tell me how. Is it a solution? If yes, tell me what for. Has it helped someone? If so, tell me who.” Readers don’t care if you say “do” a hundred times. It doesn’t move them an inch. (Unless you’ve already convinced them) What move them are: 1/ Talking about their pain People notice and act when they see what relates to them. It can be a problem they have. Or the solution to that. A pitch after a pain point is most likely to work. 2/ Describe and let them connect the dots It’s less convincing to tell them your offer is good and they should buy compared to telling them a story of someone who liked it and letting them decide themselves. 3/ Show more. Talk less. What? Let the reader imagine it, rather than just read it. For example: ✖︎ “You’ll love how energetic this snack is.” ✓ “You’ll feel like having steel arms when you eat this snack.” See the difference? 4/ Say it like you don’t care Not actually saying “you don’t care.” But showing (in your writing) that it’s their benefit if they buy/act and their loss if they don’t. The bottom line: People don’t buy because they’re just told. They buy because they’re given a reason. So give them that reason. Do you persuade with force or reason? PS. You can learn about writing with AI in my newsletter with a FREE weekly email. Join here: https://lnkd.in/eb7XjHdz

I've been writing copy for 11 years and studying the best performers for even longer. Here’s 18 copywriting principles that actually move the needle: 1) Your headline has one job Get people to read the next line. That's it. Bad: "Revolutionary AI-powered email platform" Good: "Your emails are probably going to spam" 2) Sell the outcome, not the process People don't want a gym membership. They want to look good naked. "Advanced fitness tracking technology" => "See your abs in 90 days" 3) Make it scannable Most people don't read. They scan. So write for scanners. Use short sentences. Like this. And this. Break up long paragraphs. 4) Address the elephant in the room If people are thinking it, say it first. "Yes, another project management tool" beats pretending you're the first one ever made. 5) Use the word "you" more than "we" Count them in your copy. You should win by a landslide. "We help companies scale" => "You can scale without losing your mind" 6) Write like you're texting a friend Forget "professional" copy. Real language wins. "Leverage our solutions to optimize" => "Here's how to fix this mess" 7) Lead with the problem, not the solution People need to feel the pain before they want the cure. "Advanced CRM features" => "Your deals are falling through the cracks" 8) One idea per sentence If you can add "and" to your sentence, it's probably too long. Split it up. 9) Use numbers (but make them believable) "Thousands of customers" sounds made up. "2,847 customers" sounds real. 10) Test your copy on your mom If she doesn't understand what you do, rewrite it. 11) Delete every "very," "really," and "quite" They weaken everything. Your product is either good or it isn't. 12) Start with the biggest benefit Bury the lead in journalism. Lead with it in copywriting. "Save time, reduce costs, improve efficiency" => "Cut your workload in half" 13) Use power words (sparingly) Free, new, proven, guaranteed, instant. But don't sound like a used car salesman. 14) Write buttons that continue the conversation "Submit" tells people to stop talking. "Show me how" keeps them engaged. 15) Create urgency without lying "Limited time offer" is played out. "Price increases next month" is honest urgency. 16) Show, don't tell "User-friendly interface" => Screenshot of the actual interface "Fast results" => "Results in 24 hours" 17) Use "because" to justify anything Harvard study: People will do almost anything if you give them a reason. "Buy now because..." always works better than "Buy now." 18) End with one clear next step Don't give people 5 options. Give them one obvious choice. Multiple CTAs = confused customers = no sales. TAKEAWAY: Good copy isn't about being clever. It's about being clear. Clear wins every time.

When copy only talks features and benefits, it’s boring. It sounds like every other brand out there. People scroll past it. People who feel like they’re being sold to? (99.9% of the time, they'll hate it) And that’s totally fair. It’s human instinct. “Being sold to” often feels like being taken from. (No one likes being robbed off.) But that only applies when the offer lacks real value. Not when you know your product or service can truly help. When you're confident in what you bring to the table, you earn the right to do this in your copy: Support your audience’s dreams. Skip the surface-level benefits. But dig deeper. Talk about the hidden benefits. The ones tied to the dream outcome. The real transformation they want (even if they don’t say it out loud). Your copy becomes a mirror for their aspirations. Here’s what it looks like: From features > to hidden benefits > to dreams. Services: Courses: teach you → open the path to freedom Coaching: guide you → help you build a healthy, sustainable life Writing: attract clients → turn words into income Products: Weight loss supplements: help lose weight → support a confident lifestyle Clothing: clothe you → empower you to express who you are Journals: a space to write → a tool to manifest your goals Support the dreams they don’t say out loud, but feel deeply. The version of themselves they’re wanting badly. Let them see it through your words. In the end, they make the choice. But you’re the guide who showed them what’s possible. Support their dreams intentionally in your copy. And just watch what happens. P.S. I'm drawn to places that offer a good Amaretto drink, that's probably them supporting a lil dream of mine. lol

Sales 101 from Alex Hormozi He says: "The Pain is the Pitch." The clearer you can describe a potential customer's pain, the more they'll assume you have the cure. "When I talk about The Pain is the Pitch, here's what I mean: I want to get really concrete about the specific moments someone experiences pain. I remember when Leila and I were completely broke—I had just lost everything, and we'd decided to stop pursuing the gym business. During that tough 30-day period, I looked at her journey. She'd lost 100 pounds, which was incredibly compelling, while my own fitness story was pretty unremarkable—I've had a six-pack my whole life, and no one cared about that. So I decided to write Leila's story. After reading it, she laughed and said, "This is more compelling than when I lived it!" Even though I hadn't experienced her struggles firsthand, I captured specific moments she shared—like wearing cover-ups to the beach because she felt self-conscious, experiencing painful thigh chafing from being overweight, or always stepping to the back or side in photos to avoid attention. Those moments of pain are powerful. Anyone who's experienced something similar immediately thinks, "I never want to feel that way again." If you can accurately describe your prospect's pain in their own language, using specific moments from their experiences, you'll persuade them that you deeply understand their reality. You won't even have to make bold promises—your insight alone convinces them you're capable. For example, if I'm speaking to a business owner making $10 million a year, I pinpoint exactly what's going wrong in their IT department, their sales, their marketing, and HR. They'll quickly see I understand their exact challenges and think, 'He can't possibly know this pain so well without knowing how to solve it.' And that's why the pain is the pitch."

GOOD AD or BAD AD? Pt. 30 This Instant Hydration ad is a masterclass in "Objection Crushing." It doesn't hide from the customer's biggest complaint (price); it turns it into the main hook. ✅ The Hook (Intensification): The hook is direct and disarming: "You said it was too expensive, so we dropped the price." It immediately validates the viewer's hesitation and removes the primary barrier to entry. It creates instant trust by showing the brand listens and adapts. ✅ Social Proof (The Scarcity): The ad uses "Velocity Scarcity." By stating the new flavors are "flying off the shelves" and stock is running low, they turn the price drop into a high-stakes race. It implies that at this new price, the product is too valuable to stay in stock. ✅ Transfer Credibility (The Mechanism): The core mechanism is "Cellular Optimization." They use specific, high-authority ingredients like "Magnesium Bisglycinate Chelate" and "French Sea Salt" to separate themselves from generic salt water. It transfers the credibility of clinical science into a daily drink mix. ✅ Problem Framing: They shift the narrative from "I'm thirsty" to "My body needs an upgrade." By positioning the product for "workouts, recovery, and busy mornings," they frame hydration not as a biological function, but as a performance tool essential for a high-output life. ✅ Core Desires (Bargain & Vitality): The Bargain: It stacks value relentlessly: 40% off, free shipping, and a free gift. It hits the "deal hunter" trigger hard. Vitality: It promises "natural energy and focus," appealing to the universal desire to feel sharp and capable without the crash of sugar. ➡️ The Flaw: Pacing. This ad is a firehose of benefits. It lists price, shipping, gifts, ingredients, flavors, and science in under 50 seconds. While persuasive, it risks overwhelming a cold audience. A slower, focused testimonial might help ground the pitch. Overall Score: 9/10. A textbook Direct Response pivot. It takes a negative (price complaints) and turns it into a massive, irresistible sales event.

Quick(ish) copywriting tip for you. Here's a simple 3-step process for writing copy that gets the reader to say, 'that's me!' All you need to start is one customer win—written as a tiny story. Break it into 3 parts (under 100 words): 1. Problem – What wasn’t working? 2. Struggle – Why didn’t their attempts work? 3. Breakthrough – What changed after choosing you? To find it, scan testimonials or surveys for phrases like: “I used to…” (problem) “…but / because / when…” (struggle) “Now…” (breakthrough) Here’s a real example from a client project for a fitness studio ↓ Before: “I didn’t have a gym I wanted to go to consistently. And when I did, I used poor form, which led to nagging injuries.” After: “Now I look forward to workouts. I feel progress every week, and the trainers and community make it easy to keep going.” It’s not long. It’s not hyperbole. It's human. Not only is this a great testimonial, but it can also be the foundation for great headlines. And to get potential customers to say, 'that's me.' Headline examples: You’re not behind. You’re just getting started. Not just stronger. More confident. You don't have to do fitness alone. Go from skipping workouts to being sad you missed one. If you found this tip helpful, I'd love if you liked this post. Share it with a friend, follow ya homie for more copy tips and stories about writing words in this crazy world. #copywriting

You’re not selling a health product. You’re selling a desired outcome. Your customers aren’t lying awake at night thinking about product specs. Sure, features matter – but what they’re really thinking about is: → What it would feel like to finally wake up without pain for the first time in 245 days → How much easier life would be if their symptoms disappeared for good → What they’d be able to do if they had more energy, less stress, better sleep The relief. The freedom. The possibility of a better future. That’s what they’re really buying. So when you write your messaging, don’t just tell people what your product does. Paint a picture of what it helps them become.

Is pain or pleasure a more engaging way to capture a prospect's attention? 🤔 - Think back to the last time you changed jobs. - Or moved to a new city. - Or ended a relationship. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮? Odds are, you wanted to either avoid pain or gain pleasure. People leave jobs because the daily grind becomes unbearable. They relocate seeking better opportunities. And they exit relationships to stop the constant bickering. Change can be tough. Even when you know it's worth it in the long run, it can hurt like crazy in the moment. The same idea applies to marketing. To get someone to opt-in, buy your product, or take any action, you need to appeal to pain or pleasure. Coaches hire copywriters because creating effective marketing materials is a giant pain. Exercisers who can't lose those last 10 pounds sign up with trainers because they're tired of yo-yo dieting. It's why copywriting formulas like PAS - Problem, Agitation, Solution - leverage pain and pleasure. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭? 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞? Well, as with most things in life, it depends. Research shows framing your message to align with your audience's mindset boosts results. If your readers worry about their health, play up how your multivitamin protects them from illness. Fitness buffs want an edge, so focus on how your supplement powers performance. In other words, test both approaches. Try different email subject lines and headlines. Go positive or negative. See which emotion - pain or pleasure - better captivates your audience. A/B testing is easy peasy. And it provides the receipts on what works. So is pain or pleasure better for conversions? Give both a shot and let the data decide. #copywriting #marketing #b2b #fitness