Tips for Developing a Collaborative Mindset in Negotiations

Negotiation success: Think smarter, not argue harder. How to use De Bono’s Six Thinking Hats. In my 30 years as a negotiation consultant, Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats combined with state-of-the-art Negotiation principles have often been the difference between success and failure. Especially in extremely challenging negotiations. These thinking styles unlock clarity, creativity, and stronger relationships, even in situations that initially seemed hopeless. Edward de Bono’s Six Hats represent distinct thinking styles crucial for effective negotiation: → White Hat: Facts and objective information. → Red Hat: Emotions and intuition. → Black Hat: Risks and critical judgment. → Yellow Hat: Optimism and positive outcomes. → Green Hat: Creativity and innovative solutions. → Blue Hat: Process control and management. Here’s how I’ve effectively applied these hats in difficult negotiations: 1️⃣ Focus on Interests, Not Positions → White & Red Hats • Clarify underlying facts and interests objectively (White Hat). • Empathize with emotional motivations behind positions (Red Hat). e.g., Employees demand permanent remote work; management wants office return. Objective questioning (White Hat) reveals productivity metrics and workspace usage. Empathy (Red Hat) uncovers emotional interests like flexibility and family time, leading to a hybrid solution. 2️⃣ Invent Options for Mutual Gain → Green & Yellow Hats • Generate creative solutions (Green) highlighting mutual benefits (Yellow). e.g., Companies negotiating resource sharing creatively design a joint venture benefiting both economically. 3️⃣ Use Objective Criteria → White Hat • Anchor negotiations in data-driven benchmarks and unbiased facts. e.g., Parties reference market standards and independent appraisals in lease negotiations, agreeing on fair terms. 4️⃣ Prepare Your BATNA → Black Hat • Critically assess risks, alternatives, and consequences of no agreement. e.g., A buyer evaluates alternative suppliers’ costs and reliability, clearly identifying the best fallback option. 5️⃣ Build Relationships → Red Hat • Recognize and address emotional aspects to build trust. e.g., In heated negotiations, acknowledging frustration and validating concerns reduces tension significantly. 6️⃣ Separate People from the Problem → Blue Hat • Objectively manage the negotiation process to minimize personal conflicts. e.g., A good negotiator sets clear agendas prioritizing shared goals, preventing personal grievances from derailing talks. Next time you’re stuck, pause and ask, “Which hat am I wearing?” Switching hats can open unseen doors.

Negotiations don’t go wrong—they start wrong. Through my experience, I can often tell within the first 30 minutes whether a negotiation will take a collaborative or positional direction. The early signals—the tone, structure, and mindset of the parties—set the course for either value creation or value extraction. Too often, negotiations begin with adversarial positioning, where each side stakes out demands, focuses on "winning," and sees concessions as the primary path to agreement. This zero-sum mentality is where most negotiations start wrong. The problem isn’t what happens later—it’s how we approach the process from the outset. Do you negotiate how to negotiate before you start negotiating? This is a game-changer. Before discussing numbers or terms, set the stage for success. Consider opening with: "I am here today to help you reduce your risk, cost, and liabilities while improving your profits. Would you be interested in having me assist you with this?" This shifts the conversation from position-based bargaining to problem-solving and mutual value creation. SMARTnership® negotiation flips the traditional approach. Instead of defaulting to competitive bargaining, it starts by identifying asymmetric values, trust currency, and hidden gains that can turn the negotiation into a collaborative value-maximizing process. The real difference lies in: ✔ Mindset: Are we here to protect our own turf or explore mutual benefit?  ✔ Communication: Is the focus on claiming or creating value?  ✔ Trust: Is there openness to share real needs, costs, and priorities? If the first 30 minutes are spent staking positions, debating individual gains, or withholding critical information, the negotiation is already off track. But if we establish transparency, mutual benefit, and creative problem-solving early on, we unlock the hidden potential of the deal. Next time you step into a negotiation, ask yourself: Are we starting right? #Negotiation #SMARTnership #ValueCreation #TrustCurrency Tarek Amine Tine Anneberg Francis Goh, FSIArb, FCIArb Francisco Cosme Gražvydas Jukna Juan Manuel García P. Darryl Legault World Commerce & Contracting BMI Executive Institute #negotiationtraining Daniel McLuskie

Sales teams handling negotiations in the fiercely competitive B2B SaaS space face greater complexity than ever. They have to navigate making deals with larger buying committees, tighter budgets, and a sharper focus on ROI. But ask any sales professional, and they will tell you how a great many deals that materialize tend to underwhelm and underperform.   Successful negotiations are no longer the result of great communication skills alone. They need to drive lasting value. The defensive mindset focused on a transactional, even adversarial, style of negotiations no longer has an impact. The focus of sales teams is therefore shifting more towards building trust and being seen as a reliable strategic partner and problem solver.   These are four vital shifts that I believe would help flip the script for better negotiation outcomes:   ✅ Hyper-personalize Using Data  The perception of risk in buyers is higher today, and negotiators must offer more flexibility and customization opportunities to bring that down. One way is to tailor demos and proposals to the specific, nuanced needs to reduce the sense of risk. Another is to arm yourself with data and approach the negotiating table, better prepared than ever and less committed to a fixed position. This helps better align priorities, surface options, test ideas, and respond with business plans and alternatives rather than concession requests. Decision-makers are presented with a full set of viable options to choose and approve from.   ✅ Build Ongoing Engagement Relying on early consensus with stakeholders is often a lengthy process. It also creates a false sense of security that is broken when a new stakeholder gets involved. Internal friction is often a bigger deal-killer than the competitor's price. Instead, developing continuous stakeholder engagement helps anticipate friction points and unearth differences in priority, quickly.   ✅ Pick Your Battles Strategically Rather than getting bogged down on low-impact issues simply because they are on a standard checklist, aim for strategic leverage. This is better achieved by choosing the deals and specific issues that are actually worth the stakeholder goodwill and time invested. Identify your ‘must-haves’ versus ‘trade-offs’ early.    ✅ Shift Focus from Closing to Collaboration The most successful deals aren’t linear but co-designed. Instead of presenting a static proposal, involve the buyer in the solution-building process. Ask questions like, "If we adjusted this variable, how would it affect your internal rollout?" This approach turns the buyer into an internal champion as they helped build the deal. When the customer feels ownership of the solution, the negotiation stops being a tug-of-war.   When the negotiation process feels like a constant hurdle race, it’s time to rethink our approach with some essential shifts. I’d love to hear your best practices for stronger negotiation outcomes in the comments.

Negotiations aren’t fights. The winning mindset for a negotiation is curiosity. I cringe when I hear a client say that they want to “fight” for a better offer or a better severance package. I get why people default to fight language. It feels powerful. But in practice, it usually shuts down dialogue instead of opening it. It can make you come across as entitled, aggressive, and too “me-focused". But anchoring to curiosity? That makes you come across as thoughtful, measured, and strategic. Stop and think about what you’re actually negotiating: If you’re negotiating a job offer, you’re starting a new relationship. If you’re negotiating severance, you’re trying to end on as amicable terms as possible, given the circumstances. With a mindset of curiosity, your first job in a salary or severance negotiation becomes to uncover the thought process behind your offer. On the very first call with a recruiter, you can ask: →“How do you think about the target total compensation for this role?” You’re listening for: ↳the range on base salary ↳how performance targets are set and determined ↳what benchmarks they use ↳how they think about equity grants and refreshers When you receive the offer call, you can say: →“This is so exciting. I know that each company has its own philosophy towards total compensation. Would you mind walking me through how this offer was created for me?” Your tone of voice matters. You have energy but you also genuinely want to learn. You’re listening for: ↳Where in the salary band you’ve been placed (and why) ↳How they’re accounting for anything you’re leaving on the table, like unvested equity ↳What they’ve offered to sweeten the deal, like a signing bonus ↳Where they’ve made exceptions for you Once you understand how the company thinks about compensation–and, more importantly, how they have weighed your experience and interview performance to inform your offer–you can start to understand where you have leverage and where you have (reasonable) room to negotiate. When you anchor to curiosity, you position yourself as collaborative and strategic, the exact qualities companies want in their leaders. If you were coaching a friend in a negotiation, what questions would you suggest they ask?

Nobody likes to be told they're wrong when negotiating. Here's how to use Permission Structures to get unstuck. People often stick with a position, even if they want to change their mind. Why? Ego is a formidable opponent and nobody wants to "look stupid." So instead of simply telling someone they're wrong,  tell them you thought like them but had your mind changed by new information. These are called Permission Structures,  and they can change everything  when chasing consensus. → Acknowledge their past decisions based on previous information  → Emphasize the other person's expertise to maintain their value → Present a new idea as a collaborative, not a correction → Frame a new direction based on their own principles Tl;dr - I used to think like you, but based on this new information,  this might be the best way to work together going forward. Sometimes the best way to get someone to change their mind,  is to give the ego a clear and seamless path to find the exits. PS - Have you ever used Permission Structures to get someone to change their mind? I use them with my kids on a daily basis ❤️

✅ Interview nano tip: Negotiate offers with signals, not ultimatums 🎥 When you reach offer stage, the way you negotiate matters just as much as the numbers. At senior level, firms are assessing how you handle tension, trade-offs, and collaboration - not just your wish list. Here’s the mistake I see: candidates either accept too quickly and regret it, or they push too hard and risk sounding adversarial. The sweet spot is signalling commitment while anchoring on value. Try this phrasing: “I’m keen to accept. Two points would make this sustainable for me: scope clarity around X, and a base that reflects Y. If we can align here, I’m ready to move.” Notice what you’re doing: *You’re leading with intent to accept. *You’re being specific, not vague. *And you’re keeping the tone collaborative, not combative. That’s exactly what decision-makers want to see: someone who can balance firmness with partnership. Negotiation at senior level isn’t about ultimatums. Signal commitment. Anchor on value. Stay collaborative. 📌 *Watch out for a companion nano-tip to this one which is about knowing when not to negotiate. --- 📌 I’m Sandra Hatugari, FRSA, MBA and I help people in Financial Services find their new professional homes. 📩 Follow Follett Parker (B-Corp Pending certified) 🔗 Connect or follow for more #Interview and #Career tips