Overcoming Professional Setbacks

My LinkedIn tells you that I am a successful engineering manager working at Google & living the dream but here’s what it won’t tell you: ► Back in 2008, after completing my masters in the USA at Cornell University, I  was unemployed for 9 months.  ► I was rejected by Microsoft, 5 times (2 times in the same year & 2 different countries)    ► Startups turned me down because I couldn't write a Binary Search Tree.  ► Google rejected me because I couldn't explain how Hadoop works.  ► When I finally landed a job, I was told: "You’re not good enough to be a software engineer."  I broke production code. Multiple times.   As an architect, I built a product that didn’t scale.   As a new manager, two engineers quit my team—because of me.  But my biggest failure?  ► I caused a million-dollar outage at Amazon.   Millions of users were impacted.   Amazon.com went down for five minutes.   And I was the reason.   3 Lessons from my journey to help you become a TOP engineer: ✅ 1. T : Talent is overrated and You will fail. Accept it, but don’t stop.   - Every engineer screws up. The difference is who keeps going and learns from it.   - Your failures won’t define you, what you do after them will.  ✅ 2. O : Own your mistakes as Writing code is easy.    - It’s easy to blame deadlines, bad specs, or teammates.   - Great engineers take responsibility, learn from failure, and improve.   - No one remembers your mistake forever. But they will remember how you handled it.  ✅ 3. P : Problem solving is permanent. Knowledge is temporary.   - You won’t always know the answer. You’ll forget concepts.   - What matters is your ability to learn fast, debug effectively, and think through problems.   - The best engineers aren’t those who know everything, hey’re the ones who figure things out.  Failures aren’t career-ending. They’re career-defining.  So, fail, learn, and keep building. 

What’s really holding you back? Spoiler alert: It’s not your skills. How many times have you felt like you’re not up for the job? That you’re not qualified? Or that someone else could do it better? Here’s the reality: ➡️ 13% of employees and 20% of senior managers admit they frequently feel like a fraud. ➡️ 54% of women report experiencing imposter syndrome, compared to 38% of men. I get it, because I’ve been there. I used to struggle with being visible - giving speeches, creating content online, even doing TV interviews. Despite decades of experience, there was always a little voice in my head whispering: “Do people really want to hear from you? What if they laugh at you?” Here’s the truth: It’s not based on facts - it’s just the noise in our heads. Here’s how you can overcome imposter syndrome and show up like you deserve to: 1/ The Imposter Loop ↳ You doubt every win and question every achievement. ↳ Own your story: You earned your seat at the table. ↳ Write down three wins you’re proud of. Seeing them silences the noise. 2/ The Permission Trap ↳ You wait to feel ready or for someone to say “go.” ↳ Stop waiting: Start before you’re ready. ↳ Set a deadline and commit publicly - action builds momentum faster than waiting for confidence to strike. 3/ The Comparison Game ↳ You stalk others’ success and compare your chapter 1 to their chapter 20. ↳ Run your own race: Their doubts, fears, and failures aren’t in the highlight reel. ↳ Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger self-doubt. Focus on progress, not perfection. 4/ The Perfectionism Loop ↳ You polish endless drafts, overthink every detail, and never feel “good enough.” ↳ Launch at 80%: Fix it in flight. Done is better than perfect. ↳ Set a timer for your next task and stop when it’s ‘good enough.’ Progress beats perfection every time. 5/ The Silence Spiral ↳ You keep your struggles hidden and pretend you’ve got it all figured out. ↳ Share your story: You’ll be surprised how many people say “me too.” ↳ Find a peer or mentor and share one struggle you’re facing. Vulnerability builds connection. 6/ The Safety Net ↳ You stay in your comfort zone and call it “being realistic.” ↳ Take the leap: Growth lives outside your comfort zone. ↳ Identify one “safe” habit you’re clinging to. Replace it with one bold action, no matter how small. 7/ The Knowledge Shield ↳ You hide behind preparation, waiting to know “just one more thing.” ↳ Start doing: Expertise comes from action. ↳ Turn learning into doing: Commit to acting on one idea from the last book, course, or workshop you completed. What would be possible if you silenced those doubts once and for all? For me, it meant saying yes to opportunities I used to avoid - like speaking on stage and sharing my story. ⤵️ Have you ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? How did you work through it? ♻️ Share this post to remind someone they’re not alone. 🔔 Follow me, Jen Blandos, for advice on business, entrepreneurship, and well-being.

When I was promoted from Senior Manager to Director, I struggled with severe impostor syndrome. Then, when I was promoted to Vice President, it was even worse. Here are 4 ways I fought it and how you can too: 1) Normalize it. If you worry that people might find out you don’t fully know what you’re doing, know this: it’s normal. Most people experience some level of impostor syndrome, especially in new roles. 2) Expect complexity. It’s completely normal to be in the biggest, most complex job of your life for much of your career. If you're not, it often means you’ve either stepped back intentionally—or faced a setback like a layoff. Growth means doing harder things than ever before. 3) Ask for help. Be open with mentors about what you need. Discuss your challenges and ask for input. If you're in an environment where admitting “development areas” feels risky, reframe your language and ask for *help optimizing performance and delivery*. No one argues with optimization, and the result is the same—insight and support. 4) Work on your mental game. Hire a coach, therapist, or counselor if you need one. Top performers rely on a strong mental foundation. Pro athletes and performers work with coaches—leaders should too. Who do you know that’s struggling with impostor syndrome? Share this post with them. If you feel comfortable, share your own experiences below.

Have you ever written a personal Failure Log? It’s a simple but powerful self-improvement technique which builds mental resilience. Setbacks happen in everyone’s career journey. But documenting the decisions and circumstances that lead to failure will let you transform defeats into lessons and strengthen your capacity to bounce back. It’s easy to do too. Here’s how to write a Failure Log: Pick a format (spreadsheet, notebook, or digital journal) and a frequency (weekly is good for reflection). For each entry, answer: - What went wrong? - What did I learn? - How will I change my approach next time?   Use one or two sentences to answer each question. Stay objective. Use a neutral tone (“I didn’t delegate enough tasks”) rather than inflammatory statements (“I’m terrible at managing projects”). Focus on describing events and lessons, rather than beating yourself up. The aim is insight, not self-blame. Review your entries every month or two to spot patterns — maybe you sometimes underestimate timelines or often fail to communicate well enough with stakeholders. Over time, you’ll course-correct with consistent strategies. Celebrating your successes is important, but objectively acknowledging your failures will often yield the most impactful lessons. A Failure Log can be a transformative tool to consistently improve your outcomes. Best of all, over time you’ll develop a more resilient form of confidence — grounded in reality, not wishful thinking. What techniques do you use to learn from your own professional setbacks?

The Great Employer Hypocrisy? Internships. Employers: The #1 factor in hiring a recent graduate is internship experience. Also employers: Internship job postings down 17.5% nationally last year. Employers: Internships are 144x better hiring yield than job postings. Also employers: 1/3 of all internships are unpaid. Employers: "College graduates aren't ready for the workforce." Also employers: "Sorry, no internships here." And when I say "employers," I'm talking about ALL of you/us. Not just the businesses. But the non-profit and government employers too. And, yes, colleges and universities - I'm looking at you also. How many internships does your own institution offer to students? After all, you're an employer too. For all the mission-driven non-profit organizations out there - who are currently the biggest culprit of unpaid internships (57% unpaid) - can't we do better? For all the government agencies and organizations who believe in regulations and fair practices - and who are currently the second biggest culprit of unpaid internships (48% unpaid) - can't we do better? And business leaders, really? The excuses are now inexcusable. The finger pointing at schools and colleges demanding better prepared graduates while sitting on the sidelines by not offering more internships is appalling. If you say you can't afford to pay interns or that managing an internship is too hard, well...sorry to say, but you just don't get it. This country has 4.6 million college students who wanted an internship and didn't get one. Our 'internship unemployment rate' is at 56%. The present is bleak for young adults looking to launch careers. The future of all employers is bleak if we don't all step up. #talentdevelopment #internships #highered

More often than not, people who change jobs later admit they did it too early. They moved not because they had clarity, but because they were uncomfortable with not knowing. That discomfort is costing people their best career moves. If you feel restless at work but cannot yet articulate what you want instead, that is not a weakness. It may be the most strategically useful phase of your career. Here’s how to use it well: 1. Treat uncertainty as an expansion, not a gap When you stop forcing yourself to name the next role, you give your thinking room to widen. Instead of asking what job you want, ask where you have done your best work before and under what conditions. Patterns emerge when pressure lifts. 2. Learn to separate signals from fear Ambiguity makes everything louder, especially anxiety. Fear pushes you toward familiar roles that look good on paper. Curiosity shows up quietly in the work you lose track of time doing. One leads to safety. The other leads to direction. 3. Build your future around skills, not titles Titles lock you into narrow paths. Skills travel. Inventory what you are genuinely good at and where those capabilities could matter in different contexts. Then identify one or two skills worth deepening before you decide anything else. 4. Replace purpose statements with purposeful days Purpose rarely appears as a single sentence. It shows up in how you allocate your time, who you help consistently, and what you choose not to pursue. Alignment comes from daily decisions, not grand declarations. Career clarity is often iterative and occasionally messy. Rushing to resolve uncertainty usually trades short-term relief for long-term regret. If you are between chapters, resist the urge to force an answer. The uncertainty is not something to escape. It’s information worth listening to.

Career breaks are often cited as permanent pauses in your career. It is important to establish a changed mindset that a career break is not a blank space on your CV. It’s a chapter. Whether it's for family, caring for loved ones, a personal pursuit, or simply needing time to recharge, stepping away from your career is a significant decision. The change in routine, the questioning of your identity, the feeling of being disconnected – it may seem exhausting. A lot of women, including me, experienced this during their maternity break. And then returning to work after a break seems challenging too. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and lost. But here's the powerful truth we need to embrace - " career break," is not a gap on your CV. It's a new chapter filled with experiences that have shaped you, strengthened you, and given you a perspective that's uniquely yours. You've learned invaluable skills, navigated complex encounters, and developed resilience that will serve you well in the future. So how do we normalize taking career breaks and support those on their journey? Here are a few thoughts: 💠 Preparing for a break: Have open conversations with your manager, family, and support network. Think about how you'll stay connected to your industry – even if it's just reading articles or attending occasional events. Most importantly, give yourself grace. This is time for you. 💠 Returning to work: Start small. Reconnect with your network – reach out to former colleagues, mentors, or industry contacts. Update your skills and don't be afraid to ask for help. Remember: Your experiences during your break are valuable assets. 💠 Providing the right environment to return to work: Companies must provide the right environment, tool, resources, and support system for employees to transition back to work, for example, after a long maternity break. Employee resource groups, support from male allies are perfect examples of these mechanisms and help build an equal, inclusive workplace. 💠 Supporting each other: Let's create a culture of support and understanding. Celebrate the diverse paths women take and recognize the strength and resilience it takes to navigate career breaks. Let's mentor, sponsor, and champion each other. Let's share our stories, lift each other up, and keep walking forward together. #KeepWalking #WomenInBusiness #CareerBreak 

The key to identifying and highlighting transferable skills from a career break is simple: stop thinking of work as the only place where valuable skills are built. Every experience—whether it’s caregiving, studying, traveling, or even healing—teaches us something. The trick is learning how to translate those lessons into professional strengths. Instead of focusing on where you were, focus on what you did during that time. Ask yourself: • Did I manage a household? That’s leadership, budgeting, conflict resolution. • Did I care for a family member? That’s emotional intelligence, resilience, crisis management. • Did I go back to school? That’s adaptability, learning agility, and critical thinking. • Did I travel or take a sabbatical? That’s cultural intelligence, problem-solving, and networking. • Did I recover from burnout or focus on mental health? That’s self-awareness, stress management, and a deeper understanding of workplace well-being—an increasingly valuable skill. The bottom line? A career break isn’t a gap. It’s an experience. And when framed right, it’s an asset.

I’ve been laid off three times in my career. And each one sent me in a direction I never expected. Here are 15 of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from those moments: 1. Your job title is not your identity. You are more than your role. 2. The most uncomfortable seasons usually spark the most growth. 3. You will bounce back. And often, better than before. 4. It’s hard not to take it personally—even when it’s not. 5. Each time I’ve been laid off, I’ve come back twice as strong. 6. Company loyalty is a myth. Put your career first. 7. At the end of the day, no one’s watching your back but you. 8. Your boss probably wasn’t the one who made the call. 9. You were a budget line item. Nothing more. 10. Yes, someone less qualified will keep their job. It’s frustrating. 11. Networking without direction is a waste of time. 12. Everything in life runs in cycles. The lows don’t last forever. 13. Enjoy the highs while you have them. They won’t always stick around. 14. This might be the perfect chance to shift your career path entirely. 15. Always stay ready. Build real skills, grow your network, and learn how to market yourself effectively. Don’t wait until your back’s against the wall. Getting laid off can be one of the hardest things you go through. But it can also be the moment that launches you toward something bigger. And for me? I created an entire brand around sharing my experiences. What’s the biggest lesson you learned from being laid off?

No one escapes a career without scars. Trust me, after 35 years in marketing, I have plenty. At some point, you’ll be passed over for the role you wanted. You’ll lead a project that doesn’t land. You’ll say the wrong thing in a room that mattered. The higher you climb, the more those moments accumulate. Some still sting when I think about them. Early on, I thought the goal was to avoid them. To build a spotless resume, to never fall short, to be a perfect professional. But time and experience teach us a different lesson: → Failure builds your humility. → Rejection builds your resilience. → Embarrassment builds your empathy. Each one, in its own way, forces you to look inward and ask better questions about who you are, what you value, and what kind of leader you want to be. So when the memory still lingers but the pain no longer defines you, you realize that what felt like failure was actually a hard-earned lesson. And the setbacks become your foundation.