Facilitating Difficult DEI Discussions at Work

If #diversity, #equity, and #inclusion practitioners want to get ahead of anti-DEI backlash, we have to address an elephant in the room: no two people in the same workplace perceive their workplace the same way. I see this every time I work with client organizations. When asked to describe their own experience with the workplace and its DEI strengths and challenges, I hear things like: 😊 "I've never experienced any discrimination or mistreatment; our leaders' commitment is strong." 🤨 "I had a good time in one department, but after transferring departments I started experiencing explicit ableist comments under my new manager." 🙁 "I've never had anything egregious happen, but I've always felt less respected by my team members because of my race." Who's right? Turns out, all of them. It starts to get messy because everyone inevitably generalizes their own personal experiences into their perception of the workplace as a whole; three people might accordingly describe their workplace as a "meritocracy without discrimination," an "inconsistently inclusive workplace dependent on manager," or "a subtly racist environment." And when people are confronted with other experiences of the workplace that DIFFER from their own, they often take it personally. I've seen leaders bristle at the implication that their own experience was "wrong," or get defensive in expectation they will be accused of lacking awareness. It's exactly this defensiveness that lays the foundation for misunderstanding, polarization, and yes—anti-DEI misinformation—to spread in an organization. How do we mitigate it? In my own work, I've found that these simple steps go a long way. 1. Validate everyone's experience. Saying outright that everyone's personal experience is "correct" for themselves might seem too obvious, but it plays a powerful role in helping everyone feel respected and taken seriously. Reality is not a question of "who is right"—it's the messy summation of everyone's lived experience, good or bad. 2. Use data to create a shared baseline. Gathering data by organizational and social demographics allows us to make statements like, "the average perception of team respect is 70% in Engineering, but only 30% in Sales," or "perception of fair decision making processes is 90% for white men, but only 40% for Black women." This establishes a shared reality, a baseline for any effective DEI work. 3. Make it clear that problem-solving involves—and requires—everyone. The goal of DEI work is to achieve positive outcomes for everyone. Those with already positive experiences? Their insights help us know what we're aiming for. Those with the most negative? Their insights help us learn what's broken. The more we communicate that collective effort benefits the collective, rather than shaming or dismissing those at the margins, the more we can unite people around DEI and beat the backlash.

🌈 Why DEI Efforts Stall in Virtual Spaces (Even When Leaders Have the Best Intentions) You launch a meaningful conversation focusing on the new DEI strategy. You prepare thoughtful prompts. You invite open dialogue. And then…Silence. Cameras off. Minimal responses. Polite nodding, but not much else. You can feel the hesitation, the discomfort. 📌 Employees aren’t opting out because they don’t care about DEI. They’re opting out because psychological safety is missing. In today’s workplace, silence in DEI conversations is often a sign of: ✳️ Fear of saying the wrong thing ✳️ Worry about being judged ✳️ Uncertainty about “what counts” as a safe or appropriate contribution ✳️ Prior experiences of being dismissed 💡 Here’s What to Do: 4 Proven Strategies to Transform DEI Engagement 1️⃣ Redesign Meetings for Inclusivity Create structures that support quieter or hesitant employees by rotating facilitators, using breakout rooms, offering chat/poll options, and sending questions in advance. RESULT: Everyone gets a low-pressure entry point — not just the most vocal voices. 2️⃣ Set Clear Participation Expectations Remove ambiguity by telling people how to participate and offering multiple ways to contribute (speaking, typing, reacting). RESULT: Employees feel confident they belong in the conversation and know what’s expected. 3️⃣ Build Psychological Safety Before the Meeting Set the stage early with pre-reads, anonymous question options, recognition, and quick 1:1 check-ins. RESULT: People show up prepared, supported, and ready to engage authentically. 4️⃣ Address Emotional Barriers with Care Lower fear by slowing the pace, avoiding charged language, validating perspectives, and asking open questions. RESULT: Hesitation turns into contribution because emotional risk is reduced. 🚀 What Happens When Inclusion Becomes a Daily Behavior ✨ Conversations become more honest, human, and energizing ✨ Employees speak up without fear of being judged ✨ Skeptics soften because they finally feel safe ✨ Collaboration deepens because trust grows ✨ Inclusion becomes lived — not performed This is the transformation so many leaders aim for, and it begins with creating psychological safety in every DEI conversation. 🌍Ready to go deeper? If this message resonates, it might be time for a Cultural Clarity Call to uncover where cultural misunderstandings may be holding your team back. 📍You’ll find the link right on my banner. #LeadershipDevelopment #PsychologicalSafety #InclusiveLeadership #EmployeeEngagement #WorkplaceCulture #DEIStrategy #VirtualMeetings

When corporations like Target Walmart Amazon and Meta decide to roll back their #DEI initiatives, it sends shockwaves—not just through their organizations but through every professional space where equity has been hard-fought. For DEI practitioners, and anyone championing change, this isn’t just a business decision—it’s a call to action. Dr. Kimberle Crenshaw’s work on #intersectionality has taught us how systems of power intersect to marginalize certain groups. These rollbacks are a stark reminder of how fragile progress can be when profit and politics collide. But here’s the truth: even when systems shift, we hold the power to influence from within. This is where the role of the in-house influencer becomes critical. What Is an In-House Influencer? An in-house influencer is more than just an employee—they’re a changemaker. It’s the person who raises the tough questions, advocates for systemic equity, and pushes for accountability, even when the organization tries to retreat from its commitments. If you’re leading DEI efforts—or simply care about fostering inclusion—you are an in-house influencer. Here’s How to Show Up as an In-House Influencer: 1️⃣ Advocate for Intersectionality DEI isn’t just about diversity statistics—it’s about addressing the overlapping systems of inequality that impact marginalized groups. Use your voice to remind your organization that equity isn’t just for some of us—it’s for all of us. 👉 Action: When faced with rollbacks, ask: “How will this decision impact employees from intersecting marginalized identities?” Document the gaps and amplify the need for solutions. 2️⃣ Lead with the Question Trap Navigating a company pulling back from DEI? Use intentional questions to spotlight priorities and identify allies. For example: • “What is our strategy to ensure equity and belonging in the absence of formal DEI programs?” • “How are we addressing the morale of employees who feel left behind by these changes?” 3️⃣ Position Yourself as the Trusted Voice When companies shift, employees often feel disillusioned or directionless. This is where your influence matters most. Be the person who says, “We may not have the same resources, but here’s how we can keep making progress.” 👉 Action: Create informal networks, mentoring programs, or resource-sharing spaces to keep the momentum alive—even if the official structures are gone. 4️⃣ Consider Your Own Path When companies signal that equity isn’t a priority, it’s also an opportunity to evaluate your alignment with their values. As Kimberlé Crenshaw reminds us, we must constantly navigate systems to reclaim power. Sometimes, that power comes from knowing when to stay and fight—and when to build something new. 👉 Action: “Am I working in a space that aligns with my values?” If the answer is no, begin preparing for a pivot. Here’s the reality: the rollback of DEI programs doesn’t erase the need for equity. It simply shifts the responsibility. #alignment #careernomad #rna

How do we effectively intervene in polarizing debates and have courageous conversations? Here are my top 4 recommended strategies, based on 20+ years of experience facilitating difficult dialogues. These principles draw from decolonial theory and practice, feminist theory especially Black feminism, Indigenous ways of knowing, Buddhism, and critical pedagogy. 1. Normalize Repair, Not Harm Shared humanity can be a powerful tool for peacebuilding, but only if past harm and violence is acknowledged and addressed. Without acts of reconciliation, we can risk normalizing harm by framing it as "simply" human—which is to say, natural and inevitable. 2. Moving Beyond Right and Wrong Most of us can usually see the problems with other people's perspectives, but it's much more difficult to see the limitations of our own. Try to create spaces to explore better or different answers, not "wrong" answers. In fact, competition over who is "right" only serves to weaken our organizations and movements. 3. Embrace the Pause There's a deep wisdom in recognizing the power of the pause. We need time to reflect, process, grieve, and heal if we truly want to learn and grow. If you're feeling emotionally drained or if you find that your online interactions are causing stress, it may be time for a social media break. Embracing opportunities to pause during discussions is also a useful facilitation tool that can create space for empathy and help to bridge divides. 4. Resisting Hierarchies In every sense, we are tethered to each other. In courageous conversations, it's important to recognize and honor the various challenges that individuals are facing. One way to do this is to resist a hierarchy of issues (the belief that some issues are "more important"). If you observe a lack of ability to agree about realities, definitions, or facts, naming this can be a powerful first step towards creating shared meaning. All leaders and teams benefit from developing their capacity to have courageous conversations and build cultures of open communication. DM me and let's discuss how I can help you or your organization! If you found this post insightful, please share to expand the conversation. Follow me and tap on the bell 🔔 on my profile to subscribe to my content. #CourageousConversations #Conflict #InclusiveLeadership  

Ever struggled with what to say in response to resistance or backlash on DEI? The truth is you shouldn't have anything to say, you should be listening and asking questions. We can't tackle resistance and backlash if we don't understand it, and we can't shift it in people by telling them what we know. We need to engage our curiousity and ask questions like: ✳️ what makes you say/think that? ✳️ what about that bothers you? ✳️ is that really true? How do you know? ✳️ tell me more about that. Curiosity breeds connection. And it's connection that we need to be able to engage someone and guide them towards a broader, more inclusive perspective. Sure there's a time for data and there's a time for growing empathy through storytelling. But if we truly listen to understand first, then we will have the information we need to be able to tailor our eventual response. It's not easy though, we are not used to asking questions when we feel we know what's right. So next time, rather than get into a debate, take a deep breath and try to start a dialogue that leverages your curiosity. Image: Bree talking about inclusion, Bree is wearing a wine coloured top, black glasses in front of a grey background. #InclusiveLeadership #DEI #WorkplaceInclusion