Avoiding Eye Contact

Not all listening looks the way we expect it to. For some children and many neurodivergent individuals listening doesn’t happen through eye contact. In fact, being asked to “look at me when I’m talking” can do the exact opposite… it can overwhelm them, distract them, or even shut down their ability to process what’s being said. What may look like “not paying attention” looking away, fidgeting, playing with something in their hands might actually be how they focus. Because for them, eye contact isn’t connection. It’s pressure. And when we insist on it, especially by getting too close or demanding it,it can feel intimidating, not engaging. So the question shifts from… “Why aren’t they looking at me?” to “Are they understanding me in their own way?” Listening can look like stillness…but it can also look like movement. It can look like quiet…or like busy hands and wandering eyes. The goal isn’t to control how listening looks. The goal is connection. And connection doesn’t require eye contact it requires safety. When a child feels safe, they will engage in the way that works best for them.And when we honor that, we’re not lowering expectations…we’re deepening understanding. So let’s release the idea that eye contact equals respect or attention. Because sometimes, the child who isn’t looking at you…is the one listening most closely. ✍️Joy Christin Johnson Child Psychologist #parenting #reminder #raisingneurodivergentkids #joywrites

Watching the BBC’s Apprentice tonight left me grimacing at the TV when contestants were instructed to "maintain eye contact to build connection" as part of a task. I get it; we are far from everyone understanding neurodiversity, but this task fundamentally misunderstands what genuine connection means in our diverse workplaces. With approximately 1 in 5 people being neurodivergent—including many with autism, ADHD, and social anxiety—forced eye contact can be: ✖️ Physically uncomfortable or even painful ✖️ Overwhelming to sensory systems ✖️ A barrier to authentic communication ✖️ Anxiety-inducing rather than connection-building In my experience, genuine workplace connections are built on the following: ✅ Respecting different communication styles ✅ Creating psychologically safe environments ✅ Focusing on what people say, not how they say it ✅ Understanding that connection looks different for everyone Business leaders should model inclusivity by recognising that connection isn't one-size-fits-all. Equating eye contact with trustworthiness or engagement is an outdated and exclusionary perspective that has no place in modern workplaces. Whilst these moments are frustrating, I will always take the opportunity to educate. We are not all the same. #Neurodiversity #WorkplaceInclusion #Leadership #TheApprentice #ProfessionalDevelopment

One of the biggest misunderstandings about ADHD is how focus actually works. From the outside, it looks like breaking eye contact or fidgeting means someone is distracted. But for many of us with ADHD/AuDHD, it’s the opposite. Breaking eye contact helps us focus. Fidgeting helps us regulate. Looking away helps us listen better. It’s not disrespect. It’s not avoidance. It’s not being uninterested. It’s our brain reducing sensory load so we can actually process what you’re saying. As a business owner at Big Frog of Raleigh, I’ve had countless conversations where I’m: • listening intently while looking away • absorbing details while tapping my fingers • processing faster because I’m not holding eye contact If you work with neurodivergent colleagues or customers, here’s the key shift: Don’t measure engagement by eye contact. Measure it by understanding, contribution, and follow-through. Most of us focus best when our bodies are allowed to move the way our brains need. And communication gets a lot easier when everyone knows that.

You can say the right words and still look unsure at work. And most people don’t realize why. It’s not your English. It’s your body language while you speak. Here are 3 mistakes that quietly reduce your confidence in meetings and interviews: 1. Crossing your arms It feels safe. But it signals distance. At work, this can read as: “I’m uncomfortable.” Or worse, “I’m not open.” A small shift helps here. Let your arms relax. Use natural hand movement when you explain a point. Notice what happens. You look more engaged instantly. 2. Avoiding eye contact Looking down isn’t humility. It’s uncertainty. You don’t need to stare. Just hold gentle eye contact when you finish a sentence. This tells the listener: “I believe what I’m saying.” That one habit changes how your words land. 3. Slouching while you speak Posture affects more than appearance. When you slump: - your voice drops - your breath shortens - your sentences trail off Stand tall. Not stiff. Just aligned. Clear posture supports clear speech. See the pattern here? Confidence is not about being loud. It’s about alignment — body, voice, message. Fix these three things. Your English will sound more confident without changing a single word. — Save this for your next meeting or interview. You’ll feel the difference. 👇 Quick question: Which one do you catch yourself doing most — arms, eye contact, or posture?

Ever been rejected for a job because you “didn’t seem confident”... all because of eye contact? Yep, eye contact, like we’re in a staring contest, not an interview. Not everyone can (or should) lock eyes for minutes on end especially if you’re neurodivergent. So if you're on a remote call, here are 3 tips to show you're engaged (without frying your brain): 👉🏻 Look at the camera, not the person, It feels weird but it fakes eye contact perfectly. 👉🏻 Use other signals = Nod. Smile (if you want). React like a human and active listening, plays a massive part in this. 👉🏻 Try this line if you’re worried about being judged : “I tend to focus on processing what’s being said, so I might not always look directly at the camera but I’m following everything.” Remember the number one golden rule of "Interview Club" The first person who breaks eye contact loses. (Just kidding. Please blink.) How do you feel about eye contact? Natural? Awkward? Avoid-at-all-costs? #LinkedIn #Interviews #Neurodivergent #Careers #ADHD