You Are Not Alone!
In honor of world mental health day, I wanted to take a moment to share my story. My story is not at all dissimilar to those faced by others. Many of us live in the shadows. We mask our suffering with smiles and a cheerful presentation of self - our real self neatly tucked away.
Those feelings of sadness, depression, anger, frustration and the abuse of substances like alcohol and drugs are cleverly hidden away so that only a select few, if any, know our true selves. Most suffer in silence. Ashamed, embarrassed and frustrated, we trod along through life unwilling to seek out hope. We fear the stigma that is attached to mental health. We fear being ostracized by our family and friends or worse, being deemed "crazy". I am here to tell you, that you are not alone!
I was 38 when I first realized that mental health challenges do not discriminate. They affect even cheery optimists like myself. At 38 years old, I found myself hospitalized for a heart attack. I was ashamed and embarrassed. Here I was, in the prime of my life being admitted to the hospital for a heart attack. One stent and a bagful of medication was my hospital parting gift and with that I was sent off to face my new reality.
The funny thing about that experience was that I left the hospital in worse shape. Seriously. I had never taken such a cocktail of medication in my life. I wasn't a smoker and never really drank, but here I was, loaded up with a cocktail of drugs that were supposed to make me feel better, but instead, I spiraled into depression and was constantly sick to my stomach. I recall walking around Costco, looking up in the lights and feeling all dizzy. My world was spinning. My wife asked me why am I acting so strange. I didn't know. I didn't have answers. I asked the doctor for the solution and they said "take more medication" I was puzzled and was not willing to take any more.
I struggled with these feeling for months until I sought support from strangers. The funny thing about social media is that there is an incredibly supportive community hidden amongst the countless memes and trolling. Four great individuals answered the call unknowingly. These four individuals shared their stories openly, not just with me, but with so many others. I am not even sure how I connected with them, but I am glad I did, because they contributed greatly to my mental and physical health transformation. With their help, I realized, "You are not alone"
They are:
Makini Smith, author of:
https://www.amazon.ca/Walk-Stilettos-through-struggle-grace-ebook/dp/B01BTQ2DNA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1539176823&sr=8-1&keywords=makini+smith
Simone Walsh, author of:
https://www.amazon.ca/Poetic-Diary-Bleeding-Heart-Simone/dp/1460005295/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1539175999&sr=1-2&keywords=poetic+diary+of+a+bleeding+heart
Wayne Williams, proprietor of Buffboy Fitness
Stacy-Ann Buchanan, filmmaker and mental health advocate.