The Screaming Silent Majority

"Lessons on leadership, life (and music)

We've all been there: On the precipice of making a decision in our work or personal life, standing on the brink, with the knowledge and awareness of what needs to be done and why it must be done. Then, overcome with anxiety, fear, uncertainty or concern about the unknown (or  the imagined perceptions of others) we've backed away.

All the while, the silent majority has been screaming. Not at you - and not in a vocal manner which actually expresses their observations and concerns regarding your inability or unwillingness to act.  They scream silently, until you finally do take action.

When they do speak, it sounds much like this: "I heard they finally let Jeff go last week."..."Yeah, can you believe it?"..."I wonder what took so long? His performance and attitude have sucked since the day he showed up,"... "Yeah, his boss must have had clues long ago.  And she gets paid to lead others!" 

You can always count on the screaming silent majority to speak up in the aftermath of a decision that's finally been made: Sharing amongst themselves what’s been painfully obvious (and talked about endlessly) by so many, for far too long.

There are many reasons for trepidation, fear and procrastination in our lives. They are emotions and responses that are weaved into the fabric of what makes us human, however,  I've never read a book entitled, "Courageous Leadership : A journey of trepidation, fear and procrastination."  

We have a strong and demonstrated tendency to talk about people, versus demonstrating the care and courage to speak to them. In the absence of surrounding yourself with people who are committed to (and rewarded for) doing so, you run this risk: If you haven't taken action on a low performer;  someone who isn't aligned with the company's values or culture, or someone who doesn’t have the capacity to excel, the only one who notices is EVERYONE.

That's the screaming silent majority.

There's also an  individual version of the screaming majority locked within each of us, comprised of our own thoughts and "gut feelings". Those two resources inform us about  what we should do and must do. Too often, we ignore them in an effort to delay pain and  loss , or retreat from irrational fear.

It happens when we know we need to get in better physical shape, or address a difficult topic with a friend or family member, or demonstrate the courage to end a dysfunctional relationship.  Our own screaming silent majority - the voice within our own head - waits for us  to address things which block us from living our lives in a healthy manner.

When you finally take action and liberate yourself and others, you invariably ask yourself,  "What took me so long? Why in the world didn't I address this sooner?"

So how do we minimize the screaming silent majority in our lives and replace it with raving fans? I believe the answer lies in building and sustaining trust, both with others and with oneself. A very effective trust model includes three elements: Trust of character, trust of competence and trust of disclosure.

They’re all important, but the last one holds the most promise for personal success, growth and building the courage to take action.

High performers crave feedback. They surround themselves with people who will shoot straight, in a caring way, who will stand behind them and offer encouragement in moments that matter - and most importantly - who will hold them accountable for doing the right thing, even when it’s the difficult thing. 

If you want to replace the screaming silent majority in your life with people who will speak up and take the risk when it’s in the interest of promoting a more seamless and fluid environment in your work or personal life.  

We're often not dealt a great hand in work and in life, but as Kenny Rogers famously sang, "You've got to know when to hold them...know when to fold 'em".

The question for all of us is, "Do we avail ourselves of  the helpful voices of people we trust, or rely on our own good instincts, when our roles, responsibilities, relationships or well-being requires us to take action?  Do we trust our own good instincts and self-confidence as catalysts for leading?".

Doing so is the solution for quieting and redirecting the screaming silent majority.