Probably not an ass.

“Why did I send that email?” Those words exploded in my head as I woke from a deep sleep at 3 a.m. “They’ll think I’m an ass. Oh, my God! I am an ass”  It felt like my very existence was threatened because of my impulsive email missive. And there was nothing I could do but watch myself spiral out of control. 

Except then I remembered…

When we wake up from a deep sleep, our limbic brain, the fight, flight, or freeze lizard part, is in control cause the rest of our brain knows it ain’t the time for serious thinking. Part of the limbic system, the amygdala, fires up our fear and anxiety leading to irrational thoughts. Its function is to react to dangers, real or perceived. The problem is that ALL worries are super ginormous and threatening to the amygdala at 3 a.m. 

I hacked my way out of this nocturnal discomfort in three manageable steps. 

1. I identified which part of my brain was in control (the limbic system)
2. I made an appointment for a consultation with the still sleepy rational brain part (prefrontal cortex) in the morning. 
3. I followed my breath in and out till I fell asleep. When a thought arose, I gently redirected my awareness back to following the rhythm of my breathing. 

Just naming the brain part helped to put the fearful thoughts on hold. Knowing I’d address them in the morning was enough to allow me to focus on breathing in and out over and over till next thing I knew, the lovely light of morning filtered through my gauze curtains.

After consulting with my prefrontal cortex the next morning when my brain was back to firing on all cylinders, I concluded the email was not my best idea. I may lose some stature in the fallout, but I had good intentions, and I’m probably not an ass. It’s gonna be ok. I’m ok. 

I’m glad I recognized which part of my brain was in control at 3 a.m. at the start of a budding panic attack and remembered what to do about it: hack my way back to sleep.

Teach this to your students, children, and partners to help them feel good about managing their emotions in the middle of the night!

Better living (and sleeping) can be achieved through understanding how our brains work. Then we can make good decisions in the middle of the night to bolster our mental health by getting those much needed ZZZZs.