Fist or Sponge?

“Is your heart a sponge or a fist?” Téa Obreht

If you smile at a stranger, they almost always smile back. If you compliment a stranger, they reflexively light up. There’s something contagious about a spontaneous smile or a genuine compliment that gives us license to open up, even if just for a fleeting moment.

Ted Lasso, in the AppleTV+ series, does a lot of smiling. He has a sponge for a heart. He’s hurt over and over but digs deep to find his humanity. He allows his emotional pain to teach him, transform him, and serve his highest values. His adhesive alliance with his truth elevates whomever he interacts with. His character demonstrates an alternative, hopeful, and healing way of relating in this world. People *co-regulate with him as he models a way of being that ignites the aliveness within. They eventually see that his folksy, corny ways clothe his magnanimous ability to forgive and be grateful. He comes back over and over to the most generous distillation of human responses: kindness. 

Alex Haley wrote, “When you clench your fist, no one can put anything in your hand.”  

So is your heart a sponge or a fist?

An open heart is curious rather than judgmental.

An open heart knows that every human is suffering or will suffer.

An open heart is compassionate and kind.

An open heart leads to wisdom and gratitude.

*Co-regulation is the way we respond and adjust in social interactions to help others maintain a regulated state.