*Learning at Work Week - Networked for Learning*

This year, I knew instantly what I wanted to write about for learning at work week with the theme ‘Networked for Learning’.

I recently attended a conference in London...“nothing particularly revelational in that Laura” is I’m sure what you are thinking. 

Oh Networking, one of those scenarios that fills a lot of us with dread. The thought of having to try and chat to and meet new people isn’t something that comes naturally to us all. People often make the assumption that someone with a background in performance such as moi would glide into conversations with strangers with a cheesy grin, jazz hands, maybe even adding in a pas de bourrée in for good measure. Alas that’s rubbish for me.

I’d circled the venue for about half an hour before, getting my steps up and making sure I’d got to the right place. During that time, I realised one lady and I had circled each other three times. Had we acknowledged each other on our meanderings? No. Was she inside when I finally went in 10 mins before we stared? Yes. Did either of us speak to each other? No of course we didn’t.

5 minutes to go marked the mandatory trip to the bathroom. So I touch up my makeup – which actually really doesn’t need touching up but helps me avoid going in and picking a seat right until I need too. Another lady, comes in and puts her bags and stuff down next to me. She glances in the mirror at me, our eyes lock, so I thought to myself come on you can do this, so I gave her a smile, I thought that’s easing myself in. Nope, nothing but a glare back at me. Gosh this is going to be a tough crowd.

2 minute call is given for people to start taking their seats. Now this is the part that is going to make or break the day. So how do you choose where to sit? Well, you want a place you can see the presentation as an obvious first. I then personally don’t want to be with a group who look like they all really know each other because then you can feel excluded, I just want to find what I would call a chilled, friendly looking bunch. Walk in the room, most of the centre seating has been filled. I go to sit at the back and think ‘no Laura push yourself forward’, so I do. I sit in the second row from the front, to one side, and with no-one else sat next to me. Result, I can take away the free goodie bag in the next empty seat to me too!

1 minute to go, I’ve sat on the aisle. The same lady from the bathroom incident walks down the centre aisle of the seating so she doesn’t have to bypass me and sits in the seat along, next to me but one. As soon as she sits down, she shifts her body weight so that she’s leaning away from me and resting on the other arm. Body language here being clearly signalled as – don’t talk to me! ‘Do I smell?’

The turning point was lunch, I sat down on a table by myself quite happy to be catching up on some social media and a couple of work emails, when a different lady out of nowhere came over and smiled and asked me if I minded that she sat down. ‘No of course not.’ So to start with we did the standard chatter of so do you work for, blah blah blah. And actually yes, it was awkward and it took a few minutes to get into the flow, but I was doing it. I was networking with someone. Turned out she worked for a large organisation in London and we had similar elements to our backgrounds, which I guess looking back on it is a no brainer considering the event we were at. After lunch she sat in front of me, and we passed a few comments on the speakers and then that was it, end of the day we both said nice to meet you and went on our ways.

So Laura, why have you waffled on about this simple experience? Here it is. We all have strengths, and opportunities when it comes to our development. I know this is an area of challenge for me and I hadn’t realised maybe quite how much it was, and that’s ok. I can quite happily chat to my heart’s content to people I’ve developed a relationship with and there’s an understanding, but when it comes to launching in to that first conversation – nope not so good. And, I’m thankful that another delegate did eventually make the first move because that’s actually what I needed. Then I felt I could smile and make eye contact with people and it wouldn’t matter if they didn’t smile or acknowledge back. So at the next event you go to where there is the opportunity to network remember:

• There will be those people in the room who don’t like it as much as you and that’s fine. How can you make the most of being in that space?
• Look at who is good at mingling and having those conversations. What are they doing?
• There is so much knowledge sharing that can take place from those brains in that room. Make the most of those different experiences.

I’d really love to hear anyone else’s experience of networking so feel free to post yours or tips for the future.