Tips for Developing Charismatic Communication

Last week, a client came to me frustrated. She’d been rehearsing a presentation for weeks her slides were polished, her content airtight but every time she practiced, something felt off. “It just doesn’t land,” she said. “It’s clear… but it’s not connecting.” I smiled. I’ve heard that line more times than I can count. So instead of tweaking her script, I handed her a tool that changed how I coach presence: 🎧 The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane https://amzn.to/4nDXhuR We listened together to one of the opening sections. Within minutes, Lisa Cordileione’s narration had slowed her breathing, her shoulders dropped, and she started actually feeling her message again. I told her, “Let’s not fix your words yet. Let’s fix your state.” Over the next week, we practiced a few principles from the book not as “performance hacks,” but as access points to real, embodied influence. Here’s what I coached her through (and what you can try too): 1️⃣ Charisma isn’t a personality; it’s a practice. You can train presence, power, and warmth the same way you train muscle memory. 2️⃣ Presence comes first. Before you speak, give yourself one minute of undivided attention: feet grounded, eyes soft, breath steady. Your nervous system sets the tone before your words ever do. 3️⃣ Regulate your body to regulate the room. A slow exhale, a taller posture... people feel it instantly. 4️⃣ Your tone, pauses, and silence shape influence. Try one deliberate pause after a key sentence and watch how the energy shifts. 5️⃣ Warmth amplifies authority. Influence isn’t about dominance. It’s about safety. When people feel seen, they follow naturally. 6️⃣ Authenticity is your anchor. Don’t imitate charisma; embody it. Alignment reads louder than performance. 7️⃣ Stories do the heavy lifting. A short, vivid story builds trust faster than any data slide ever will. 8️⃣ Small, repeatable habits build real magnetism. Two micro-practices a day, presence and breath, compound faster than hours of rehearsal. By the time her event arrived, nothing in her slides had changed but everything about her presence had. She didn’t just deliver a talk. She held the room. If your next presentation feels technically sharp but emotionally flat, don’t add more polish. Add presence. Start with one minute before every conversation. Notice how your body settles, your voice deepens, and people lean in differently. That’s the difference between speaking to a crowd… and captivating them.

I was easily the shyest boy in school by a mile. But wanting to be a barrister meant that had to chance, fast. By understanding the key characteristics that academic studies have identified as central to charismatic speaking, speakers can refine their approach to deliver more impactful and memorable speeches. 1. Authenticity: The Foundation of Influence Research by Kouzes and Posner (2002) in "The Leadership Challenge" emphasizes that credibility, derived from authenticity, is the foundation of leadership. Audiences are more likely to be persuaded by speakers they perceive as genuine and honest. 2. Confidence: The Power of Presence Confidence is another key attribute of charismatic speaking, supported by a wealth of research. According to a study by Tskhay and Rule (2014), published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, confidence is often inferred by an audience from nonverbal cues, such as posture, gestures, and eye contact. The concept of "power posing," popularized by Amy Cuddy's research, also highlights how body language can influence both the speaker’s confidence and the audience’s perception of the speaker. 3. Audience Connection: Engaging with Relatability Connecting with the audience is a hallmark of charismatic speaking. Academic research highlights the importance of understanding and addressing the audience's needs. A study by Burgoon et al. (1990) on interpersonal communication found that effective speakers use adaptive communication strategies to engage their audience. This includes adjusting one’s speech based on audience feedback, which can be nonverbal (e.g., body language) or verbal. My approach in Parliament was to maintain eye contact and use inclusive language, which fostered a sense of connection and made the audience feel involved in the discourse. 4. Emotional Appeal: Harnessing the Power of Emotions The role of emotions in persuasive speaking is well-established. Research by Chaiken (1980) in the Heuristic-Systematic Model of persuasion demonstrates that emotional appeals can be more persuasive than purely logical arguments, particularly when the audience is less motivated to engage in deep processing of information. Similarly, the study by Barge and Oliver (2003) highlights how stories and metaphors, which evoke emotions, can make a message more memorable and impactful. In my speech, I utilized storytelling to humanize the policies under discussion, tapping into the audience’s emotions to create a lasting impact. 5. Vision: Inspiring Collective Action Articulating a clear and inspiring vision is essential for charismatic speaking. Research by Conger and Kanungo (1987) in their Charismatic Leadership Theory suggests that effective leaders articulate a vision that not only aligns with the audience’s values but also presents a compelling future state. This vision serves as a rallying point, inspiring collective action.

I've dedicated over 2,000 hours in the past three years to coaching professionals, helping them become more authentic, engaging and persuasive communicators. The ability to command an audience’s attention to tell an effective narrative is crucial for influencing others. With Kaiser Permanente, I recently delivered a two-day intensive public speaking course advising clinicians and hospital leadership on becoming more confident speakers. Here are some best practices that separate good speakers from masterful ones. These tips will be beneficial for: (1) Preparing for your upcoming speaking engagement or presentation. (2) Leading critical internal meetings where persuasion is key. (3) Any situation where you need to effectively convey a story to your audience. Best practices:  (1) 🖼 Use words that evoke vivid imagery in the minds of your audience, no corporate buzzword bingo! (2) 🔬 Pay close attention to audience reactions (or lack thereof) in real-time. If you notice eyes glazing over and no “nodding along” where it should be obvious, you haven’t landed your message. Vary your tone, cadence, and volume or simply repeat your message to make it stick. (3) 👋 If using hand gestures, ensure they are deliberate, crisp and clearly visible to the camera to avoid distracting your audience (otherwise all they'll see is you shrugging your shoulders!) (4) 🎙 Adjust your distance from the microphone to ensure clear, undistorted audio at an appropriate volume (don't yell!) and so you can effectively play with vocal range  (5) 👀 Avoid looking at yourself on the screen; it will derail your delivery. Instead, rotate through the 'gallery view' to see all attendees and vibe off audience energy (6) 📒 Familiarize yourself with your material to speak naturally. But if using notes, place them at eye level so it’s not obvious you’re looking down to refer to them What advice from your virtual speaking experiences resonates with you? I'd love to hear your top tips! #publicspeakingtips #executivecoaching #communicationskills

Last fall, I took a Stanford communications class. 9 hours of learning distilled into 90 seconds: These are the top lessons I learned from 6 world-renowned communication experts. What makes them so powerful? Communication skills transcend work. They're essential for life. 1. 85% of people are anxious about communication in high stakes situations. - Matt Abrahams 💡𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻. ↳ Reframe nerves as excitement ↳ Slow down your breath, movement and speech ↳ Reframe speaking as a conversation, not performance 2. Pathos, emotional connection, is the secret behind the most successful TED Talks. - Carmine Gallo 💡 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗲, 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲. ↳ Start with big picture before details ↳ Center the story on a main character ↳ Pave a journey with obstacles and, in the end, triumph 3. Your audience forgets 90% of what you present within 24 hours. - Carmen Simon 💡𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝟭𝟬% 𝗮𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿. ↳ Clarify the most important message before beginning ↳ Add 3 supporting points (max!) ↳ Repeat them in distinct ways every 2 minutes 4. Your reputation is the echo that precedes you before you enter a room and lingers after you leave. - Allison Kluger 💡 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆. ↳ Don't be afraid to share your story ↳ Act like the leader you want to be ↳ Treat people with kindness and care 5. There's a secret language of status and connection. - Melissa Jones Briggs & Dan Klein 💡𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘆. ↳ Use power like a dial depending on the situation ↳ Low power: cede space, rushed speech, darting eyes ↳ High power: stand straight, move slow, steady gaze 6. Sometimes the most valuable thing you can say is nothing. - Jeff Cabili 💡𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. ↳ To replace filler words ↳ To show composure and confidence ↳ To build suspense before a crucial point The 6 lessons: 💡Use strategic silence. 💡Tell captivating stories. 💡Control the 10% audiences remember. 💡Leadership is the art of using your power wisely. 💡Create your personal anxiety management plan. 💡 Build your reputation with intention and consistency. Which one resonates most with you?

✨ Mastering Charisma with the SHR Method ✨ Imagine having the ability to command respect effortlessly and build authentic connections that propel your career forward. That was what one of my clients, a Director at a global tech firm in North America, wanted when he first came to me. With a strong engineering background, he had never needed to prioritize communication, executive presence or charisma. However, as he stepped into his leadership role, he found himself struggling to influence senior stakeholders and lead with presence. Amongst other strategies, I introduced the SHR Method to help him transform his approach: 1. Seen Instead of simply glancing at people, he learned to make genuine eye contact. This shifted interactions from transactional to meaningful. He practised giving thoughtful compliments like, “Your insights on this project have provided crucial clarity. Your strategic approach stands out.” 2. Heard He asked questions that showed he valued others' opinions, such as, “What helped you arrive at this perspective?” He focused on listening intently, making people feel that their ideas truly mattered, rather than just waiting for his turn to speak. 3. Remembered After meetings, he followed up on key points discussed, sending personalized messages. He recalled and mentioned previous conversations, which left a lasting impression and built trust. The transformation was profound. He reported back in just a few months: “Now, my voice carries weight. People remember our conversations, and I’ve built a network of influential allies.” Imagine yourself in his shoes. How powerful would it feel to have your contributions recognized and your presence felt in every room? ✨ Start small. Pick one element of the SHR Method to practice this week. 🎁 Make someone’s day! Share these insights and support their path to success ♻️ Thank you.

I’ve worked with so many students who are brilliant, but might not sound like it. They often ramble and stumble (if someone didn’t know them personally, they might label them as “not bright”). Here’s how I have trained 10,000+ students to sound smart (without faking it): 1. Speak in short, structured sentences Using big words and long sentences is the fastest way to lose credibility. People can see that you’re hiding behind jargon. So, instead: • Use short, declarative sentences • Pick simple, specific words • Structure your thoughts (“First... Second... Third...”) And here’s a bonus: pair your points with gestures (like holding up fingers). It increases your clarity, both verbally and nonverbally. — 2. Clarity = Competence Get to the point fast. Explain: • The problem • The solution • What you don’t know, and how you’ll figure it out That last one is underrated. Being able to say “Here’s what I don’t know (yet)” shows confidence, not weakness. — 3. Pay attention to your body gestures Avoid touching your face, fidgeting, or rubbing your neck during a conversation. These subconscious gestures signal “I’m nervous and unsure,” which erodes trust and credibility. . – 4. Want a confidence boost? Try this mindset: “I’m lucky.” Before a big meeting, pitch, or interview, try this: “I’m the perfect person for this. I’m lucky to be here, and they’re lucky to have me.” This mindset instantly upgrades your posture, tone, and energy. People trust those who believe in themselves. We trust people who feel lucky and capable. — 5. Know your story. Own your role. People with strong narrative identity—who know how their story fits into the moment—radiate confidence. Go in knowing: • What you bring • What do you want • How does this opportunity fit your bigger story — 6. One last tip: Nail the first impression. Before any big interaction, ask: “How can I be of service?” It instantly reorients your focus away from nerves, and toward connection. Whether you're in sales, therapy, leadership, or interviewing, that simple question builds warmth and trust. You don’t have to act smart. Speak clearly. Know what you know, own what you don’t, and bring presence and purpose into the room. That’s how you sound like the smart, capable person you already are.

Your Body Speaks Before You Do—Mastering First Impressions in 7 Seconds ⏳ People decide who you are within the first 7 seconds of meeting you—before you even say a word. We all want to come across as confident, charismatic, and engaging, but the real secret? It’s all in your body language. I recently listened to an incredible episode of The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett featuring Vanessa Van Edwards a behavioral investigator who studies human connection. Vanessa, a self-proclaimed “recovering awkward person” (which I deeply relate to), unpacks the science behind how people perceive us—and I couldn’t stop taking notes. Body Language Wasn’t Something I Was Taught. Like many children of Asian immigrants, I was raised to make myself smaller—sitting quietly, keeping my hands in my lap, and lowering my gaze out of respect. Eye contact wasn’t a sign of confidence but of defiance. So when I stepped into the professional world, I constantly second-guessed my social cues: Am I making too much eye contact? Where do I put my hands when I talk? Am I coming off as engaged or just awkward? Hug or no hug? Learning the unspoken rules of communication has been a journey, and I wish I had known earlier how small shifts in body language could make such a big impact. Key Takeaways from the Episode ✅ Success is contagious – The people around you shape your confidence and mindset. ✅ Use hand gestures while speaking – It makes you more engaging and credible. ✅ The power of the slow nod – Three slow nods while someone is talking makes them feel truly heard. ✅ Smile with your eyes (Duchenne smile) – A genuine smile that reaches your eyes boosts likability. ✅ Maintain eye contact 50-60% of the time – Enough to show confidence without being intense. ✅ Lower your pitch, steady your tone – Instantly makes you sound more confident. ✅ Subtle mirroring builds connection – Matching the body language of the person you’re speaking with strengthens rapport. ✅ Use light, natural touches – A gentle touch on the shoulder or elbow (or even a slight vocal shift or lean-in) helps build connection; however, don't talk on the back or head. ✅ Know your RBF (resting bored face) – What does your neutral expression communicate? Does it unintentionally look bored, sad, or unapproachable? Adjust accordingly. ✅ Respect cultural differences – Personal space and social norms vary across cultures. This episode is packed with game-changing insights! 🎙️ Listen to the full conversation here: https://lnkd.in/gkr4Myri And a huge thank you to Jennifer B. Kong for sharing 🙌 💬 What’s one body language tip that has helped you feel more confident? Drop it below! 👇

After negotiating billions in contracts, I’ve discovered a game-changing secret to success: the right body language often speaks louder than any proposal or argument. Ready to take your influence to the next level? Mastering body language could be your game-changer. We’ve all seen plenty of advice on using verbal communication to influence others, but how often do we focus on the power of body language? Nonverbal communication plays a critical role in influencing effectively—it conveys confidence, builds trust, and strengthens your message. How the industry leaders execute it: 1. Establish Open and Confident Posture Stand or sit up straight with shoulders relaxed and chest slightly forward. Avoid crossing your arms or legs, which can appear defensive or closed-off. 2. Make Intentional Eye Contact Maintain steady eye contact to show interest and confidence. Avoid staring; instead, balance eye contact with natural breaks to avoid discomfort. 3. Use Gestures to Reinforce Your Words Use purposeful hand movements to emphasize key points (e.g., open palms to convey honesty). Avoid fidgeting, pointing, or overusing gestures, which can distract from your message. 4. Mirror Your Audience’s Body Language Subtly align your posture and gestures with the other person’s to create rapport. Avoid mimicking; instead, aim for natural alignment that signals connection and empathy. 5. Exude Calm and Confidence Slow your movements and avoid rapid or erratic gestures to project calm authority. Take controlled breaths to maintain composure, especially in high-stakes situations. 6. Align Facial Expressions with Your Message Smile genuinely to build warmth and trust, but ensure it aligns with the context. Use expressive eyebrows or subtle nods to show engagement and understanding. 7. Control Your Space Stand or sit firmly within your space to project presence and authority. Respect personal boundaries while subtly leaning in during conversations to show interest. 8. Pay Attention to Your Hands Keep hands visible; hiding them in pockets or behind your back can create mistrust. Use gestures like steepling (fingertips together) to convey confidence and thoughtfulness. 9. Watch Your Feet Placement Stand with feet shoulder-width apart for a grounded and confident stance. Avoid shifting weight excessively or pointing your feet toward the exit, which signals disengagement. 10. Adapt to Cultural Contexts Be mindful of cultural differences in body language and adjust accordingly. What may convey confidence in one culture might be perceived differently in another. Be mindful of your nonverbal cues and how they might be perceived. Record yourself or seek feedback to refine your body language for influential communication. Mastering these aspects of body language can enhance your ability to lead, persuade, and build meaningful connections. Nonverbal cues often speak louder than words—use them intentionally to leave a lasting impact!

I tell people they’re dying for a living. Here are my 10 best communication tips: In hospice & palliative care, we know how to communicate effectively because we’re trained to do so We learn to how to tell a patient their cancer is terminal and how to respond when they’re angry it wasn’t caught sooner And if these communication skills work in life & death situations, you bet it’ll work in the office 1. The better rapport you have with the other party, the easier the conversation will go. Find common ground and do it quickly 2. You’re not just providing feedback or letting an employee go. You’re talking to a human. Never forget that. 3. Check your own pulse and emotions before you go into any conversation. Our mirror neurons are always working, so the calmer you are, the better it will be 4. The more you prepare upfront, the easier things will be. Choose an optimal time & place and ensure all necessary parties will attend 5. Most people are extremely uncomfortable with silence. Learn how to use it effectively in a conversation and you’ll be blown away by how powerful it is 6. Set expectations up front. My preferred generic format is “yours, mine, next steps.” Ex: “We’re here to discuss any concerns you may have, address some of ours, and talk about next steps going forward” 7. If you’re still going in circles after 60 minutes, end the meeting and plan to reconvene at a later date. Information overload does no one any good. Take a break and start fresh 8. If someone is emotional, you need to address the emotion before moving forward. Until then, their prefrontal cortex will be shut down in favor of their primitive brain that’s controlling their emotional state. 9. If you’re not helping someone cope with their emotions within a conversation, you’re not a good communicator. Period. 10. Your job isn’t to push an agenda. It’s to figure out the goal of the human(s) across from you and work towards finding a solution that works for all There’s plenty more but this is a good place to start Let me know what communication questions you have in the comments and I’ll make more posts to answer them

𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 Public speaking isn't just about what you say—it's about how you say it. Here are 4 game-changing communication tips: 1️⃣ Pause Strategically: A well-placed pause can be more powerful than an entire paragraph. Let your words breathe. 2️⃣ Vary Your Tone: Monotone is the enemy of engagement. Adjust your voice to match your message's emotion and impact. 3️⃣ Clarity Over Speed: Slow down. Enunciate. Let your audience truly hear and absorb your message. 4️⃣ Authenticity Matters: Sync your body language, tone, and words to create a genuine connection. Remember: The world needs your voice—make sure it's heard clearly! ➖➖➖ With years of experience coaching hundreds of leaders, CEOs, and executives, I’ve helped transform them into powerful, inspiring speakers who captivate audiences and lead with confidence. These leaders have delivered impactful messages that energize their teams and position them as thought leaders in their industries. My approach focuses on providing practical strategies tailored to each individual, enabling leaders to connect authentically and inspire meaningful change through every speech they deliver. Recently, I created a comprehensive resource, “Main Checklist for Speakers: Strategize Your Plan,” designed to help you structure your speaking engagements for maximum impact. ***** 👉 Type #checklist in the COMMENTS below, and I’ll send you a FREE copy! Equip yourself with the strategies to plan your next powerful speech and transform your audience. #StoryCraftSummit #PublicSpeaking #CommunicationSkills #ProfessionalDevelopment #Success #PublicSpeaking