Engineering Feedback Techniques

How to give feedback without sounding like an asshole Most engineers suck at giving feedback. They either: 1. Sugarcoat it until it's meaningless. 2. Deliver it like an emotional grenade. Both are useless. If you want to be respected (not resented), here’s how to shred bad work while keeping the team on your side. 𝟭. 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸, 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲 Nothing makes feedback more pathetic than hedging like a coward. ❌ “Maybe we should consider refactoring this?” ❌ “I think this might be a little inefficient?” ❌ “I don’t know, but…” Translation: “I have no backbone, feel free to ignore me.” ✅ “This design is inefficient. Here’s why.” ✅ “This won’t scale. Fix it before it blows up.” ✅ “This solution creates unnecessary complexity. Let’s simplify it.” Be direct. Not soft. Not rude. Just clear. 𝟮. 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 Your job isn’t to assassinate egos. It’s to fix problems. ❌ “This is a terrible implementation.” ✅ “This implementation creates a performance bottleneck. Let’s rework it.” Shit code doesn’t mean a shit engineer. Treat mistakes as debugging, not personal failure. 𝟯. 𝗕𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝗽 Vague feedback is as worthless as a lousy compiler. ❌ “This isn’t great.” (Okay, why?) ❌ “This needs work.” (Where? How?) ✅ “The loop here causes O(n²) complexity. Let’s optimize to O(n log n).” ✅ “This API is too coupled. Let’s refactor to make it reusable.” If you can’t explain what’s wrong and how to fix it, you’re just whining. 𝟰. 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝗺𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Tearing things down is easy. Building is hard. ❌ “This design is garbage.” ✅ “This design won’t scale. Let’s try an event-driven approach instead.” If you can’t suggest a better way, maybe you’re the problem. 𝟱. 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺, 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗹𝘆 You don’t talk to a junior dev the same way you talk to a staff engineer. Juniors need guardrails → “This approach works, but here’s a better one.” Peers need precision → “This causes X problem. Let’s fix it.” Seniors need directness → “This is a bad tradeoff. Here’s a better one.” Great engineers adjust their feedback style like an adaptive algorithm. 𝟲. 𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗶𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 You want respect? Then don’t humiliate people in public. ❌ Wrong: Roasting someone in front of the team. ✅ Right: Giving feedback 1:1 first. Public humiliation creates resentment, not improvement. 𝟳. 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 The loudest critics crumble when the tables turn. If you: ❌ Get defensive over pull requests ❌ Take feedback as a personal attack ❌ Argue over stupid shit just to be “right” Then you don’t deserve to lead. Toughen up. Listen. Improve. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗲 Weak feedback leads to weak teams. Toxic feedback leads to toxic teams. Brutal honesty + tactical kindness = unstoppable teams.

Most engineers avoid giving feedback. Not because they don't have opinions. Because they don't know how to deliver them without creating enemies. So they stay quiet. They nod in meetings. They vent privately and move on. And they wonder why no one sees them as a leader. Here's the truth. The engineers who rise to Staff and beyond aren't just technically strong. They know how to challenge ideas without threatening people. They know how to make hard conversations feel like collaboration. They know how to give feedback that makes the room better, not defensive. That's not a personality trait. It's a skill. And it's learnable. Here's how to give feedback that builds influence instead of conflict: 1. Lead with curiosity, not criticism. Don't open with what's wrong. Open with a question that invites reflection. "Have you considered what happens if..." lands better than "This won't work." 2. Separate the idea from the person. Attack the problem, never the engineer. Make it clear you're invested in the outcome, not winning the argument. 3. Anchor your feedback in impact. Don't say "this is inefficient." Say "this approach could slow down the release cycle by two weeks." Specificity removes emotion from the equation. 4. Choose your moment deliberately. Public feedback creates defensiveness. Private feedback creates trust. Know which one the situation calls for. 5. Close with collaboration, not verdict. End every piece of feedback with an invitation. "What do you think?" or "How would you approach it differently?" keeps the conversation open and positions you as a partner, not a critic. The engineers who become leaders don't wait for a title to start leading. They build influence one conversation at a time. Follow me for more tips on how to position yourself for the career you actually want.

The most dangerous kind of feedback isn’t the harsh kind. It’s the kind that sounds fine but changes nothing. Leaders waste hours repeating the same points, wondering why nothing sticks. It’s not laziness on your team’s part. It’s that your words aren’t sparking movement. Here’s what separates feedback that shifts behaviour from feedback that disappears into thin air: 1. Trust before talk:  No trust, no change. People listen with half an ear when they feel judged. 2. Precision over politeness:  “Work on your communication” is vague. Try: “When updates are last-minute, the team scrambles. Sharing earlier would prevent the chaos.” 3. Show strengths before gaps:  When you acknowledge what’s working, people are more willing to improve what isn’t.  For example: “Your presentation was clear and engaging. Adding data at the start would make it even more convincing.” 4. Behaviours, not labels:  Telling someone they’re careless won’t change anything. Showing them the specific action that caused the mistake might. And here are extra ways to make feedback actually land: ➡️Pick the right timing. Feedback in the middle of stress or conflict rarely gets heard. Wait until people are calm enough to absorb it. ➡️ Frame it as a possibility. Instead of only pointing to what went wrong, highlight the potential you see. People lean in when they feel you believe in them. ➡️ Make it a dialogue. Ask “How do you see it?” or “What could help you here?” Feedback works best when it becomes a shared problem-solving moment. ➡️ Anchor to purpose. Connect the feedback to the bigger picture: “When reports are clear, the client trusts us more.” Purpose creates motivation. ➡️ Balance the emotional tone. A steady, calm delivery helps the person stay open. If you sound irritated or rushed, the message gets lost. ➡️ Close with next steps. Clarity comes from knowing exactly what to try next and when you’ll review it together. Feedback is either a lever for growth or a loop you get stuck in. The choice is in how you deliver it. When you give feedback, do you focus more on safety, clarity, or motivation? #feedback #difficultconversations #work

That "clear, direct feedback" you gave in the PR review? There's a 65% chance it landed completely differently than you intended. New research on 94 developers analyzing real communication from GitHub and Stack Overflow reveals something every engineering leader needs to understand: perception gaps aren't edge cases—they're systematic and predictable. Developers split into distinct perception groups. The same message that one group reads as professional and informative, another interprets as cold or dismissive. That casual "nice work! 🎉" you think builds team morale? To others, it reads as unprofessional and distracting. Here's how that difference in perception can impact engineering productivity: 🔴 PR cycles stretched by unnecessary clarification rounds 🔴 Context-switching overhead as engineers parse tone instead of solve problems 🔴 Eroded trust from repeated "miscommunications" that are actually perception mismatches 🔴 Productivity loss that compounds across every async interaction Here's whats working for high-performing teams: 1️⃣ Match communication density to interruption cost. Architectural decisions and blocking issues deserve information-dense, formal communication. Low-priority updates need explicit tone signals ("FYI, non-blocking:" or "Quick win:") so engineers can triage without friction. 2️⃣ Coach your reviewers on style adaptation. Your most senior engineer's terse technical feedback might be efficient for them but creates multiple context switches for others who need more context to understand intent. The teams that acknowledge these perception differences stop burning cycles on conflicts that aren't technical disagreements, just communication style mismatches. How are you handling communication norms on your teams? What's worked (or hasn't)?

I was 11. Fresh off a football match that went… Terribly. I froze. Barely called for the ball. Kept my head down the whole game. On the drive home, my dad didn’t say too much. Just this: “You kept hiding in space, hoping they’d pass to you. But if your team can’t see you, they won’t use you.” That was it. One moment. One behaviour. Why it mattered. At the time, I thought he was just being kind. (And maybe a little smug.) Years later, in a Uni lecture, it hit me: He’d nailed one of the best feedback models out there...  Without ever hearing of it. Turns out, great feedback is clear, specific,  and science-backed. Here are 6 proven ways to give feedback that lands  without losing trust: 1. SBI Model → Situation: When and where → Behaviour: What you saw → Impact: Why it mattered (My dad’s comment? A textbook SBI.) 2. Radical Candour → Care personally. Challenge directly. → Miss either one, and trust doesn’t stand a chance. (Top-right quadrant or bust.) 3. FeedForward → High performers don’t want a post-mortem. → Give them the next step, not just a replay. 4. The 5:1 Ratio → 5 positive interactions for every 1 critique. → Feedback only sticks if the relationship can carry it. (Make deposits before you withdraw.) 5. Ask–Tell–Ask → Ask what they think. → Tell them what you saw. → Ask what they’ll try next. 6. CEDAR Model → Context. Examples. Diagnosis. Action. Review. → When the stakes are high, this one delivers clarity. Feedback isn’t about being brutally honest. It’s about being precise. So it actually lands. That’s what my dad got right. (Needless to say, I never did get much better at football.) ✅ It was short ✅ It was specific ✅ And it stuck Because when feedback is framed well, it doesn’t just  get heard. It gets remembered. And acted on. ♻️ Repost for your network (and look ridiculously clever while doing it.) Follow 👋 David Meade Keynote Speaker for science-backed strategies you can use this week.

Being nicer won’t fix your feedback problem. Neither will being harsh. Because the issue isn't your message. It's your framework. Behavior correction needs a different approach than positive reinforcement. Coaching conversations require a different structure than performance reviews. Here are the 6 frameworks that turn feedback into development opportunities: 1️⃣ PREP: For Behavior Correction Point → Reason → Example → Point State what needs to change. Explain why it matters. Give proof.  Restate what needs to change. "Client emails need 24-hour response. When it takes days, we risk deals. The client escalated after 5 days of silence. Same-day or next-day response going forward." 2️⃣ BOOST: For Positive Reinforcement Behavior-focused → Observable → Specific → Timely Not this: "Great presentation." This: "You opened with revenue impact, then gave 3 clear options with trade-offs. That helped the board decide fast. Do that every time." Tell them what to repeat. 3️⃣ GROW: For Coaching Conversations Goal → Reality → Options → Will What do they want to achieve? Where are they now? What could they try? What will they commit to? Ask, don't tell. Your job is to guide their thinking. 4️⃣ CEDAR: For Difficult Feedback Context → Examples → Diagnosis → Action → Review "Three Q4 deliverables came in late. This pattern is impacting the team's ability to plan. If you can't meet a deadline, I need 48 hours' notice. We'll review in 2 weeks." Name the pattern. Set clear expectations. Follow up. 5️⃣ FEED: For Real-Time Feedback Facts → Effects → Expectations → Development "You interrupted twice in that meeting. The client couldn't finish, so we missed information. Let them complete their answer. This builds your listening skills." Immediate feedback = immediate behavior change. 6️⃣ SBI: For Trust-Building Feedback Situation → Behavior → Impact "In today's meeting, you credited the design team for the win. That built trust and showed you share credit." Separate observation from interpretation. These frameworks work because leaders stop avoiding hard conversations, Teams know exactly what success looks like. And the business performance improves because feedback actually changes behavior. If your people know you care about their growth, they'll receive tough feedback as a gift. If they sense you're checking a box, no framework will save you. So start with one framework. Master it. Then add the next. And watch your team's confidence, performance, and trust in your leadership grow. If you want the complete system for difficult conversations and feedback that builds trust while driving performance... LeaderOS, my Leadership Accelerator, breaks down everything. The frameworks, the delivery, the timing, and the follow-through. Secure your spot here: https://bit.ly/TheLeaderOS ♻️ Repost this for leaders who need better feedback frameworks. And follow me, Cicely Simpson, for leadership systems that develop leaders and teams.

No feedback = making others mediocre. Yet, people fear giving it. And people dread receiving it. Nobody was taught how to give feedback. Feedback isn’t a confrontation. It’s a leadership skill. If you want a high-trust, high-performance culture,  You have to master it. Here’s a simple framework you can use today. 1️⃣ The 3Ps: Praise → Problem → Potential ↳ Start with praise to anchor the conversation in recognition. ↳ Then name the problem, clearly, objectively. ↳ End with showing a path forward. 💡 “Your presentation was well-researched.” 💡 “But it ran 15 minutes over and we lost Q&A time.” 💡 “Let’s aim for tighter timing next round.” 2️⃣ Use the SBI Model: Situation → Behavior → Impact ↳ Be specific and avoid generalizations.  ↳ Describe what you saw to anchor the feedback in context. 💬 “During yesterday’s briefing, I noticed you checked your phone often.” 💬 “It seemed to disengage some of the team.” 3️⃣ Use Harvard’s HEAR Method to defuse defensiveness: ↳ H: Hedge your claims: “From what I noticed…” ↳ E: Emphasize agreement: “We both want this project to succeed.” ↳ A: Acknowledge their side: “I hadn’t thought of that.” ↳ R: Reframe positively: “One idea could be…” Feedback isn’t a monologue. It’s a dialogue. 4️⃣ Stick to the 5:1 Ratio. ↳ For every 1 piece of critique… ↳ Offer 5 genuine observations of what’s working. ↳ It keeps the feedback motivating, not demoralizing. 5️⃣ Follow these tactical tips: ↳ Be timely ↳ Be specific ↳ Balance critique with praise ↳ Ask questions ↳ Use “I” statements, not blame People don’t grow from vague suggestions. They grow from clarity. From specificity. From care. Next time you give feedback? Don’t hold back. But don’t lash out either. Be the kind of leader who gives feedback people can actually use. What’s the best feedback you ever received and what did it change? ♻️ Repost to help others give feedback that transforms people ➕ Follow Youssef El Allame for more insights

Careless feedback is costly. Being honest does not mean being without empathy. Feedback done in the wrong way can crush a person’s confidence. It can also erode your credibility as a manager. Key things to remember when giving feedback: 🔬 Be specific and objective - avoid generalities and provide recent examples to back up anything you want to share. 📍 Ground feedback in a clear framework or standard - this helps keep it constructive rather than personal. Never give feedback by comparing someone with another colleague. 💡 Offer suggestions for improvement - never give constructive criticism or development points without agreeing practical steps for change. ⚖️ Be balanced - share the positives alongside the challenges. Encouragement is far better than reproach. ⏰ Ensure feedback is timely - it shows that you’re engaged and value the person’s development. ❓Ask how someone would like to receive feedback (i.e. in writing, verbally, in-person) - this approach creates psychological safety and engenders trust. What else would you add? What works for you? #Feedback #PsychologicalSafety #Management #HR #Trust #Growth Higgs LLP [📸 Image is of various types of biscuits with the title “Types of Feedback” each type of biscuit acts as a metaphor for the way feedback might be delivered. Credit to Liz Fosslien.]

As an EY Partner, I gave feedback to thousands. Master the art of feedback - skyrocket your leadership: Bad feedback creates confusion. Good feedback sparks growth. Use the CSS (Clear, Specific, Supportive) framework to make your feedback land without friction. No more awkward silences or sugarcoating disasters: 1. Give positive feedback that actually feels valuable. ❌ Don’t say: “Great job!” ✅ Instead say: “Hey [Name], I really liked how you [specific action]. It made a real impact on [outcome]. Keep doing this—it’s a game-changer.” Why it matters: → Reinforces what actually works 2 Address underperformance without demotivating. ❌ Don’t say: “You need to improve.” ✅ Instead say: “I appreciate your effort on [project]. One area to refine is [specific issue]. A great way to improve would be [solution or resource]. Let’s check in next [timeframe] to see how it’s going.” Why it works: → Pinpoints the issue without personal criticism 3. Redirect someone without crushing their confidence. ❌ Don’t say: “This isn’t what I wanted.” ✅ Instead say: “I see where you were going with [work]. One way to make it even stronger is [specific suggestion]. What do you think about this approach?” Why it works: → Keeps feedback constructive, not critical 4. Push back on an idea (without sounding like a jerk). ❌ Don’t say: “I don’t think this will work.” ✅ Instead say: “I see the thinking behind [idea]. One challenge I foresee is [issue]. Have you considered [alternative approach]? Let’s explore what works best.” Why it works: → Keeps it a discussion, not a shutdown 5. Handle conflict without escalating it. ❌ Don’t say: “You’re wrong.” ✅ Instead say: “I see it differently—here’s why. Can we walk through both perspectives and find common ground?” Why it works: → Creates space for solutions, not arguments 6. Help someone level up their leadership. ❌ Don’t say: “You need to be more of a leader.” ✅ Instead say: “I see a lot of leadership potential in you. One way to step up is by [specific behavior]. I’d love to support you in growing here—what do you think?” Why it works: → Focuses on potential, not deficits 7. Coach someone who is struggling. ❌ Don’t say: “You need to step up.” ✅ Instead say: “I’ve noticed [specific challenge]. What’s getting in the way? Let’s find a way to make this easier for you.” Why it works: → Focuses on support, not blame 8. Give feedback to a peer without sounding like a boss. ❌ Don’t say: “You should have done it this way.” ✅ Instead say: “I had a thought—what if we tried [alternative]? I think it could help with [goal]. What do you think?” Why it works: → Encourages shared ownership of improvement 9. Close feedback on a high note. ❌ Don’t say: “Just fix it.” ✅ Instead say: “I appreciate the work you put in. With these adjustments, I know it’ll be even better. Looking forward to seeing how it evolves!” Why it works: → Ends on a motivating note — ♻️ Repost it to help others grow.