Developing a Communication Style

"Be more assertive in meetings." If you’ve ever received this feedback, you know how tough it is. Especially if you’re an introvert who doesn’t interrupt or feel it’s your place. I was coaching an exec dealing with this exact sticking point. I said, “You’ve gotten this feedback. Let’s talk about what you want to do with it.” A priority for me is to always look at my clients holistically (who are you BEYOND the walls/screens of work). Knowing she had a teenage daughter, I asked this leader to role-play a conversation with her daughter about cleaning her room. She started gently: “Sweetheart, I really would love for you to clean your room. It would make our lives more calm and peaceful...” (you get the picture). I had her pause and imagine it was the fifth time she asked. She began again, “Honey, I really wish you’d...” I stopped her, asked, “Is that true to who you are on weekends? Do you calmly ask for the fifth time or bring up a different character?” She laughed. “No, that’s totally not true.” So, I asked her to show me the real scenario. Suddenly, she’s chopping her hands through the air: “Young lady, I need you to get off the couch, up the stairs, and clean your room right. now. I do NOT want to see you back downstairs until your room is CLEAN.” Boom. Who was THAT? “That,” she said, “was my 'Mom' voice.” Aha. She had the ability to turn on a concise, direct conversation style... she just wasn't used to bringing it to work with her. And the style, it started with a firm movement of her hands. She wasn’t even aware of the hand motion. But that was the tool she needed to embody a more assertive self. Now, when this client needs to be precise and direct, she starts with that hand movement. It cues her body into an assertive character without overthinking every word. Key takeaway: Using body language as a cue can bypass the overactive brain, tapping into characters that already exist within you. One of your Authentic Selves. So, use your body. Practice in front of a camera. Notice what works and eliminate what doesn’t. Your body language can unlock new ways to express assertiveness and confidence. There is more to you than meets the eye. Figure out WHO in YOU you can tap into to become who you need to be. #Leadership #ExecutiveCoaching #Assertiveness #BodyLanguage #ProfessionalDevelopment #Authenticity

I watched a team miss a $250,000 opportunity because of a simple communication breakdown As a team dynamic coach working with organizations across industries, I've seen this scenario play out countless times. Recently, a client was struggling to meet client expectations. They had talented individuals, strong expertise, and a clear strategy. Yet something wasn't clicking. After observing their interactions, the issue became clear: they weren't speaking the same language. Their director was focused on timelines and results, communicating in direct, no-nonsense terms. The creative lead communicated through possibilities and relationship-building, often skipping details. Their data analyst shared concerns in complex reports few took time to understand while the client liaison concentrated on maintaining harmony. Different communication styles. Different priorities. All valuable, but completely misaligned. ✅✅ Understanding these four distinct communication styles is transformative for any team: 1. Controllers: Direct, decisive, and results-oriented. They value efficiency and bottom-line impact 2. Promoters: Enthusiastic, imaginative, and people-focused. They thrive on possibilities and building relationships 3. Analyzers: Methodical, detail-oriented, and data-driven. They seek precision and logical solutions, and prefer to thoroughly evaluate before deciding 4. Supporters: Empathetic, patient, and team-focused. They prioritize group harmony and ensuring everyone feels valued. They often ask "How does everyone feel about this approach?" What transformed this team wasn't a new project management system or restructuring. It was awareness of these styles. When I helped them recognize and adapt to these patterns, something remarkable happened. 🌟🌟 The director started providing context behind deadlines. The creative lead documented specific action items. The analyst delivered insights in more accessible formats. The liaison created space for constructive challenges. 🌟🌟 Within weeks, their efficiency improved by 30%. Client feedback turned overwhelmingly positive. And they secured a contract renewal worth three times their previous agreement. This pattern repeats across every successful team I work with. The differentiator isn't talent or resources – it's communication awareness. Understanding your natural style and recognizing others' preferences creates the foundation for exceptional teamwork and professional growth. What's your natural communication style? Sign up for my newsletter for weekly insights on elevating your communication effectiveness: https://www.lift-ex.com/ #communication #team #performance #professionaldevelopment #leadership #cassandracoach

This communication mistake can cost you the promotion, or even the job. It's the inability to adapt…and then justifying it as authenticity. Communication versatility is the secret for influencing others. I recall a senior manager who spoke in a brusque manner. Her tone was curt and disdainful. She wasn't liked by anyone but her boss. When someone daringly pointed it out to her, she exclaimed, ‘I'm just being myself.’ She couldn't see her blind spot. Eventually, her boss left and the new boss didn't appreciate her communication style. She didn't get the promotion she expected, and was sidelined. Adapting to different audience requires self awareness, skill, and empathy. Having communication versatility is the forgotten twin of EQ that can make or break careers. Before anyone protests…It's not about being fake. I'm against the concept of Fake it til you make it. It's about making it easy for others to understand and trust you. Your effectiveness isn't just about WHAT you communicate, but HOW you adapt your style for each stakeholder. Our technical expertise and experience can get us to the top. Communication versatility keeps us there and beyond. Some tips on developing an Adaptive Arsenal 🌟 Build a toolkit of different communication styles. 🌟 Practice switching between them seamlessly 🌟 Learn the art of reading subtle cues Mastering this skillset of communication versatility enhances leadership presence. What is your communication style?

Reflect on your motives. Before speaking, ask yourself: Why am I talking? This isn't about suppressing your thoughts but understanding the underlying reasons for your communication. Are you speaking to clarify, to connect, or perhaps to assert dominance? Recognizing your true motives helps you align your speech with beneficial intentions. Consider the Impact Think about how your words might affect others and yourself. Aim not to harm. Before speaking, ask yourself: How might my words affect others? Consider their feelings, needs, and perspectives. How might my words affect me? Reflect on how your communication could influence your own well-being and relationships. Practice Self-Awareness Regular mindfulness practice can increase your self-awareness, allowing you to recognize and adjust your communication style more effectively. Consider past conversations where your speech may not have been well-intended. Reflect on what you could have done differently and how you can improve in similar situations moving forward. As we focus on the intention behind our words, we open the door to transforming our interactions into opportunities for connection, understanding, and mutual growth.

In 2017, I was in Tokyo presenting to a client. My translator kept saying "the client agrees" after every point I made. Great meeting, I thought. At lunch, my colleague: "They hate everything. You're about to lose the deal." "But the translator said they agreed." "In Japanese business culture, direct disagreement is rude. 'I agree' means 'I acknowledge.' Watch their body language." Afternoon session, I watched: • Arms crossed at timeline mention • Looking down at budget discussion • 15+ second silences after technical details They were politely waiting for me to stop talking. I changed approach. Instead of: "17 security controls, 90-day timeline, $2.1M budget." I asked: "What concerns you most?" Long pause. "Our board expects results in 45 days, not 90." "What budget feels appropriate?" "Your price is 3x our estimate." "Which controls matter most?" "We need 6 of the 17." That conversation saved the deal. New proposal: 6 controls, 45 days, $800K. Contract signed same week. Communication isn't what you say. It's what they hear. I was: • Talking instead of listening • Assuming agreement instead of reading signals • Presenting my solution instead of understanding their problem In security: Before: "Deploy these 47 patches immediately." After: "What's your biggest concern about these vulnerabilities?" Before: "Here's our zero trust architecture." After: "Which part of your network worries you most?" Same expertise. Different approach. Try this: Before your next recommendation: 1. Ask what concerns them most 2. Listen 15+ seconds after they finish 3. Watch body language (crossed arms = resistance) 4. Confirm understanding before proposing Your communication style: A) Talker - Present solutions quickly B) Listener - Ask questions first C) Hybrid - Situational D) Learning - Still figuring out Comment A, B, C, or D. #Communication #Leadership #CyberSecurity #CrossCultural

𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗱. This is a leadership lesson I’ve had to relearn more times than I care to admit. I used to confuse 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺 with 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺. Turns out, they’re not the same thing. 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜, “𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚”? As a leader, it’s not just about knowing where your people are. It’s about adjusting how you show up to meet them. That’s hard when you're wired like me. I’m logical. Structured. Systems-first. My wife calls me emotionally constipated. I prefer “modern-day Spock.” 🖖🏾 I like facts, research, and data. So naturally, that’s how I used to communicate. The problem? 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙨. People need warmth, not just wisdom. Stories, not just statistics. 💡 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲: ✅ Ask how people like to receive info ✅ Slow down for the human, not just the goal ✅ Adapt your delivery ✅ Lead with empathy, land with logic As I transition from the military after 27 years, this is one skill I know I’ll carry forward. Because you can’t lead people you don’t understand. Even if you’re a Spock. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲? 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿? Let’s compare notes below 👇🏾 #Leadership #Communication #MilitaryTransition #CyberLeadership #ExecutivePresence

Back in 2018-2019, while leading RINGLET, we were facing a challenge in growing our team with people who could represent us well to the clients and effectively share pitches and ideas. The challenge is that we wanted great communicators, but we didn't  define what that communication really looked like. So, I developed RINGLET's Standard of Communication, the "Diamond Standard" to train employees. In creating a standard, our team thrived, because we actually defined what makes a good communicator and trained how to evaluate those skills. Today, in my role as an executive in a fast-growing law firm I find myself tailoring that tool and using it constantly, both to evaluate my own communication and to train others. Below is the original standard I created back in 2018-2019: The Diamond Standard   A diamond is a rare, valuable, and strong gem very similar to the even more rare, valuable, and strong skill that is communication. Just like for evaluating diamonds, we use the 4 C’s to tell if our communication is up to par.  Let’s get one thing clear, communication is not easy. It is not a skill you master and never have to practice again. Great communication is hard to obtain and needs to be practiced each day. Excellent communicators are people who approach sharing ideas, information, and feedback from the vantage point of the person they are speaking to. Poor communicators approach sharing ideas, information, and feedback in a way that is easiest for them. Below are the four C’s we use to evaluate our communication skills and improve upon them each day.  Clear Make sure that there is no room for assumption in your communication, leave no gray area. The goal of clear communication is to supply the listener with all the relevant information. Set your intention for interactions and share that intention with the listener. Concise In digital interactions (Email, Slack, Basecamp) and in person, keep your communication concise. Each touch point of communication or conversation should only have one clear goal at a time. Keep it simple, in doing so this will ensure that the communication remains clear. Constructive  Each touch point of communication should build upon the last. Construct communication where both parties leave with a sense of what that conversation built. Ask questions you don’t know the answers to, give feedback on work, and offer recommendations. There should be clear calls-to-action and next steps at the end of each communication. Creative  Within our industry (marketing & startup dev), it is important that creativity plays a role in our communication to prevent communication from becoming transactional. Use different vantage points, look at the situation from all angles, allow room for innovative thought and words. Take time to consider how to translate your thoughts in an exciting way to help people to understand your goals and ideas. Metaphors and visuals can go a long way in resolving miscommunication!

Did you know that adjusting your communication style can increase team efficiency by up to 40%? Here are seven proven strategies to adapt your communication style to different workplace audiences:- - Customize message complexity → Executives prefer brief summaries, while specialists seek detailed explanations. - Adjust formality levels → Be casual with team members, professional with clients, and formal with senior leadership. - Match communication channels → Use emails for detailed information, chats for quick updates, and calls for urgent matters. - Time communications wisely → Provide morning updates for early birds and end-of-day summaries for busy managers. - Adapt presentation formats → Employ visuals for creative teams, data-heavy presentations for analytical minds, and narratives for client meetings. - Utilize audience-specific language → Incorporate technical terms for IT professionals and simplify explanations for non-experts. - Focus on relevant benefits → Highlight ROI for finance teams, efficiency for operations, and growth opportunities for sales teams. 📌 Key insight: The most effective communicators are those who skillfully observe and adapt to their audience's needs. These approaches have been tested across teams in three different industries. Remember: The core message remains constant; it's the delivery that shifts. Looking to elevate your workplace communication? Begin with one strategy and expand upon it. P.S. Which of these strategies would make the biggest impact in your current role? Share your thoughts below. 👇 #communication #workplace #teams

9 Ways You Can Improve Your Communication Skills 1. Simplify Your Message • Replace complicated terms with simple, clear words. • Convey only one key idea per sentence for clarity. Practical Tips to Improve: • Choose everyday language. • Briefly summarize your message. 2. Plan Your Communication • Outline the main points clearly before your conversation. • Anticipate audience questions to feel more confident. Simple Actions to Apply: • Write notes for reference. • Practice your message delivery. 3. Improve Body Language • Maintain eye contact to convey confidence and sincerity. • Match your physical gestures naturally to your words. Easy Methods to Enhance: • Record and observe yourself. • Watch skilled speakers closely. 4. Control Your Tone • Adjust your voice tone to match your intended meaning. • Speak calmly and respectfully even in challenging situations. Quick Ways to Develop: • Slow down your speech pace. • Seek feedback on vocal tone. 5. Practice Active Listening • Provide timely acknowledgments to show you're fully engaged. • Ask clarifying questions to avoid misunderstandings immediately. Steps to Master This Skill: • Listen without interrupting others. • Paraphrase speakers' key points. 6. Grow Emotional Intelligence • Recognize your emotions clearly and manage them effectively. • Interpret emotional cues from others to improve relationships. Easy Methods to Enhance: • Reflect daily on interactions. • Practice empathy with intention. 7. Set Communication Protocols • Clearly define preferred channels for internal team communication. • Establish response expectations to ensure smoother team interactions. Practical Tips to Improve: • Create written communication guidelines. • Regularly review your standards. 8. Build Positive Communication Culture • Encourage openness, honesty, and respectful dialogue within your team. • Celebrate and reward clear, effective communication frequently. Simple Actions to Apply: • Highlight excellent communication examples. • Regularly gather team feedback. 9. Deliver Constructive Feedback • Balance positive recognition with specific suggestions for improvement. • Provide feedback privately and promptly to encourage real growth. Steps to Master This Skill: • Offer clear, actionable suggestions. • Focus feedback on solutions.

You think you sound clear and confident at work. Your manager does not hear it that way. And it shows up in your performance review. 📌90% of managers say your communication style determines whether you are seen as leadership material. Not your performance. Not your effort. Not your speed. Your communication. Here is the part most high-performers never realize: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. That gap is where careers stall. Because while you feel confident, what people actually hear is intensity or aggression. Most high-performers do not understand why. Because in your mind, you are doing everything right. You see yourself as: “I am not intimidating. I am self-assured.” “I am not mean. I am direct.” “I do not sugarcoat. I say it like it is.” “I do not waste time. I move fast.” You think you sound like a leader. But here is how your manager may interpret it: “You come in hot.” “You push too hard.” “You are not reading the room.” “You create unnecessary tension.” “You are not ready for leadership.” And here is how your coworkers experience it: “I feel rushed when they talk.” “I cannot tell if they are upset or just intense.” “It feels like pressure, not clarity.” 📌 People decide whether you are easy or difficult to work with, within the first 30 seconds of your tone. Not because you are wrong. Not because people are sensitive. But because your delivery speaks louder than your intention. And that is the feedback your coworkers are giving about you, and the way your manager is evaluating you. 𝐀𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐒 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲. Here is the truth most high-performers miss: 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝. 𝐀𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲. Assertive means clear, steady, composed. Aggressive means sharp, charged, rushed. And if you do not fix your communication style: ❌ You will not influence decisions ❌ You will not build trust ❌ You will not move people ❌ You will not be seen as ready for leadership Here is the part no one tells you: If you do not fix your communication style, you will not get promoted. Not because you lack skill. Not because you lack results. But because no one will trust you to lead people, you make tense. High performance gets you noticed. How you communicate determines how far you go. That is why I created the: Aggressive vs Assertive Communication Cheat Sheet 👇 Try shifting one sentence daily. See how people at work start to perceive you differently. 🔁 Repost so more high-performers see this ⭐ Save it for your next performance conversation 🔔 Follow Priya Mehrotra for communication shifts that grow your career, not your workload. #Communicationskills #WorkplaceSkills #CareerGrowth #CareerAdvancement