The Ultimate Guide to Self-Esteem

The way we feel, think and act towards ourselves affects almost every aspect of our experience it infiltrates our dynamics. This is especially notable as when most of us look in the mirror we see someone that we don’t particularly like. We see our flaws, our guilt and shame around mistakes we have made and negative character traits. This means that the way in which we conduct ourselves at work, at home, in relationships with ourselves and with others are ones that carry forth that poor self-image that we cultivate each and every day. 

There are many interactions and occurrences that assist in shaping or in most cases, warping our self-esteem.  Our appraisal of ourselves is positive or negative based on the “scores” that others give us in various domains of life. We are constantly receiving information about ourselves from outcomes of situations or comments from those around us. If for instance, you score poorly in a test, that can drastically affect your self-esteem. You begin to feel like a failure or that you’re not good enough. This is unhealthy and wholly untrue. As I mentioned these occurrences warp our perception of ourselves, which prevents us from achieving and being the best, we can be. Your intrinsic value never changes, no matter what your negative self-talk starts telling you. If you feel that your self-esteem needs to be brought back to reality, then read ahead for some tips and information that can get you feeling more positive and in-tune with who you really are. 

So, how does having low self-esteem actually affect you?

Negative self-esteem is multifarious. It can result in many psychological issues. It degrades your self-worth over time which leads to diminishing self-appreciation and the creation of defeatist attitudes towards important situations. There is a causal relationship between self-esteem as the cause of psychological issues, but they can also be the result of issues that are left unchecked and unhealed. 

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem can manifest itself in a variety of ways if you experience some of these problems then continue reading my blog to gain some tips and tricks to cultivate and nurture your self-esteem. 

• You feel that others are better than you. 

• You are afraid to put yourself in unfamiliar situations.

• You dwell on your flaws.

• Your needs come as a last priority over other’s needs. 

• You find it difficult to assert yourself or to say no. 

How can I improve my self-esteem? 

1. Replace your controlling inner voice with a voice that pushes you to dream. 

It is much more challenging to achieve goals you set yourself if you feel forced or pressured to achieve them, even if you are the one pressuring yourself to do it. Move away from the phrases “I have to” and “I must”. These phrases are forceful, and they can make you feel as if you don’t have a choice. The way in which you treat yourself should be open and full of freedom. Replace those statements with “I want to” and “I will do this”. This promotes excitement and promotes positive self-esteem as you give yourself the agency to complete the task and goals you set out of passion and joy rather than coercion and force. 

2. Do the right thing

We all have moments where we mess up. We make mistakes! That’s okay. It is normal to slip up. Boosting self-esteem comes in with how you handle it. Do you continue to dig yourself deeper or do you rectify the situation as best as you can? Saying sorry, replacing something you broke, telling the truth, paying someone a compliment are all ways that you can rectify the mistakes you have made in the past. It is empowering to do the right thing, especially for our conscience and self-esteem 

3. Focus on the things you like to do

When you spend your time doing and being things that are far removed from who you are it can lead to a very inaccurate view of you and in turn your self-esteem suffers. When you really want something in life then it also becomes easier to push through any inner resistance you feel. When you are doing what you love, your inner critic has less air time. 

Try and implement these three tips in your daily routine and take note of the benefits that come. Your self-esteem will restore itself and you will feel all the more better for it.