Solution Producing Thinking

When I was in my late teens I used to suffer from extreme stress related illnesses and each time I went to the clinic I would be inadvertently told to stop thinking. The nurses would ask me “What are you thinking about? You have no kids or husband to worry about, so what is your problem? Stop worrying yourself so much”.

In essence what they were saying to me was, thinking is a bad thing, it makes you sick and unless you have family responsibility you do not have the right to think. This was puzzling to me as I could not fathom how I was supposed to live without thinking, yes once in a while thinking in those days landed me in a sick bed, but most times thinking was a beautiful experience.  

I now know that what the nurses in my local clinic did not understand is that thinking in itself is not a problem, as it’s a necessary function of the mind. However what can present itself as a problem is our way of thinking, especially when we have challenges. For instance if the way you think about your problem lends you in a place of defeat that may lead you to thinking that you have no capacity to deal with your present situation and may overwhelm you. Often enough I believe we get stress related illnesses when we are overwhelmed with circumstances and we do not see a way out. This means that our perspectives and our way of thinking may make us ill, but not thinking itself.

I have since graduated from suffering from stress related illnesses primarily because of the Grace of God and by learning how to think. Life constantly throws a lot of challenges at us and when this happens it is how we think and how we are structured that enables us to overcome. Part of learning to think well is learning to ask the right questions. As an example when faced with a monumental problem, we ask ourselves what I am going to do. A good question but if you ask yourself that in a vacuum you might draw a blank and drawing a blank can cause you to be discouraged. What I recommend therefore is a series of questions?

• How did I get here? Answering this question helps you to see or understand the mindset you had when you made a decision that led you to where you are. This is important as when you get to putting together a permanent solution you will need to also deal with your mindset. Otherwise you will find yourself repeating the same mistake over and over again
• Could I have avoided getting here? If so how? These questions help you identify the skill sets and frame of reference you need to stay on the winning lane.
• Why is this a problem? A useless question you may think, but it helps to clarify why we think something is a problem. For instance if I am in my 20s, unmarried and pregnant, is this a problem because I will disappoint my parents? is it a problem because my boyfriend left me and wants nothing to do with the baby? Is it a problem because I am not in a financial position to bring a baby into this world or is it a problem because this meddles with my life plans? Your answer to this question will concretely give you an answer to what you will need to do to deal with the problem.
• How am I going to deal with this problem? By asking this question at this point, you are better equipped to answer it.
• Lastly, going forward, what will I put in place to ensure that I don’t encounter this problem again?

It is better to ask questions that will lead you to seeing the situation beyond your own prism or perspective. Secondly it helps to be able to see yourself, your mindset and your motives clearly.   If you achieve this, then you come up with solutions that best serve you now and going forward.  

Let me know if my thoughts have been helpful. The next article will expand this concept to dealing with organisational challenges.

By Mamashoabathe Morui Onalenna Noko