A Simple Strategy for Eliciting Constructive Feedback from Co-workers

I spend quite a bit of time mentoring software engineers and one of the things that comes up often is that people want more feedback about their job performance. I usually suggest that the best way to get feedback is to ask for it explicitly at regular intervals. Peers are often the best source of feedback, since you spend more time working with them than anyone else.

When I ask engineers about the feedback they're receiving one frequent complaint is that feedback isn't constructive. While engineers like to hear what they're doing well, many also want to know what they need to improve so they can get promoted, earn a bonus, get a raise, or demonstrate the skills needed for particular types of projects or leadership.

The Problem

One of the things that stops people from giving constructive feedback is the fear that it will lead to conflicts with their co-workers. Indeed, if feedback is delivered or received poorly, this can happen! Conflict can occur because there's often a perceived judgement associated with critical or constructive feedback. Here are some examples of feedback an engineer might receive and the judgement someone might perceive from them:

• "I'd like to see you focus more on object-oriented design" → "Your design skills are terrible"
• "You should spend more time testing your code" → "You write buggy code"
• "You might want to tighten up your meeting agendas" → "Your meetings are disorganized"

So, how do we make our co-workers feel more comfortable with delivering the constructive feedback we need?

Reframe the Question

One simple solution is to ask a slightly different question! Rather than asking people to tell you what you did wrong or what you need to improve, instead ask them: What would you do differently? Or any one of these closely related questions:

• What would you have done in a similar situation?
• What would you change?
• What would you like to see happen?

Again, words like "wrong" and "better" contain an implied value judgement. Asking someone what they would have done ends up being a more "neutral" or "conversational" question. I've found that it's usually easier to get people to share their approach or their perspective on a situation than it is to get them to give you constructive feedback.

Of course, the thing to realize is that what works for someone else may not work for you. If a particular strategy or approach won't work for you, that's fine! Chances are, you'll hear at least a few suggestions you can adopt. In the best cases, I've had colleagues take my suggestions, use them, and improve upon them to the point where I learned something new!

The other thing reframing the question does is allow you to realize that you can get constructive feedback from any of your co-workers. Too often, I see engineers assume that the only useful feedback comes from a more senior engineer or a manager. The reality is that any co-worker can have potentially valuable feedback to share. I've gotten a lot of great feedback from junior engineers, product managers, data scientists, and people in other job functions.

Feedback is a Gift

Getting constructive feedback is important to improving your on-the-job performance, but it isn't always easy. Rather than making your co-workers form a value judgement about your performance (good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, etc.) asking them to share their perspectives and experience is often a much easier way to get the feedback you need. Try asking "What would you do differently?" and see if it doesn't improve your ability to collect constructive feedback. I think you'll be impressed with the results!