Reading The Room / or not...

What happens when you can't read the room? After speaking to a small group one time many years ago an experienced leader pulled me aside and said, "Billy, just because people are shaking their heads does not mean they are listening or engaged with you." What?

Was this guy crazy. Eye contact, dynamic inflections in my vocal presentation, dramatic pauses, heads nodding in agreement, this was a perfect room with complete engagement, right?? Or maybe not?? I mean, how would I really know?

So at another meeting decades later I was in the audience, the back of the room basically. Heads nodded in agreement, people made eye contact, the speaker used a computer monitor with info. and created a few dynamic pauses or changes in pace to capture attention. But then it happened. The truth came out when he began to read the room while speaking and decided to ask confirming questions of the audience. Silence. Like, complete silence. The invitation was open and ripe for feedback or clarity or questions.... instead...crickets.

So, what happened?? How in these moments are the speakers or the hearers duped into thinking everyone is engaged when really, we are struggling to actually discern that fact. Why can't we read the room.

Well, I will speak for me only at this point. I want to find myself guilty of continuous growth and improvement, so I am learning a few things to help.

1. Build the room & open the door, invite them in. This is critical. The speaker must frame things in context in order to help the speakers see and imagine where you are and where you are taking them, all in the first 30 seconds to a minute. If you don't then your next few minutes of words, while valuable with details and information, are further used to discern the context and likely missed in their value as paint on the walls. So, invite them in to sit and listen and enjoy the story, the problem, the thesis... get them thinking and comfortable joining you where you are. You may confirm everyone is in the room and engaged with a specific question or joke or pause to capture a second to read the room. Don't ask for agreement. Nods and yeses are polite and subconsciousness sometimes. Its harder to get a laugh or a direct answer to a direct question so maybe try them both. Look for the "dear in the headlights" person or the ferocious note taker or the doodler. These could be indications you have lost them already.
2. Pick a Truth Teller in the room, not than fan, but a person less impressed with you and who will be honest about how you are doing. Make eye contact, walk close to them, use them as a gauge to see if they are on the train or off. I used to pick the host. They spent time and money to get me there so they were polite but listening critically most often. I could read their face and watch for distraction. Truth is, this came in handy many times when I was moving too fast or leaving the audience bored and wondering. Use a person you brought with you or someone you know. This is not always possible, but challenge yourself with someone as a mirror or indicator you can check in with.
3. Read Yourself and adjust immediately. When I think of the many times I have spoken where engagement was questionable, I found myself engaging the audience with questions or calls for attention or with anger & volume. I can distinctly see myself, and others as well, reacting in real time to the lack of engagement by the audience. When we feel like working extra hard, we should pay attention to that. A good speaker will adjust and work hard from the platform, but not if they ignore the ques available to them, eye contact, distracted behaviors, sleeping, profuse note taking, doodling, talking, random agreement. These all can be clues pointing you toward a more engaging track to run on where you get them on board and take them with you. You may have to slow down or stop to let them on, don't be scared to adjust.
4. End strong enough to stand alone. So maybe you were clear and engaging, but maybe you lost them and didn't read the room very well. Maybe you could read the room but felt you could not make any changes on the fly. Well, you have them for a few more minutes to wrap up. make it a good one. Treat the ending as if it stood alone. Act as if they were only going to hear your last 4 minutes. Tell them what you told them, tell them what you want to tell them and tell them what you want them to remember walking out the doors. Leave the emotional connection and dramatic conclusion or action item for the end. For example: I love the book and movie "Moneyball" by Michael Lewis. If you watch the last 10 min of the movie you will get the entire message. Will you have missed cool details and story development along the way, yes, you will get the point and the dramatic end of the story, which are strategically saved. So, pre-package your ending to be strong enough to stand on it's own. Tell the audience you are wrapping up and nail it. If they end is all they remember, let them have a significant take away!!