Re-Alignment

After five years, thousands of amazing experiences, and countless lessons learned, 2017 felt like the right time to transition out of the executive director role at Team RWB. We'd built a remarkable team, a solid organization, and a culture that would certainly outlast any of us. But while I sensed it was time to close that chapter of my professional life, I was unclear on what should come next. I mean, what could possibly compare to the challenge, purpose, and enjoyment that I derived from working to grow a nonprofit and serve America's veterans?

Enter GORUCK. Starting in 2013, I had the opportunity to get to know GORUCK through a few collaborative efforts and was really impressed by their team, their gear, and most importantly, their community. Within a couple of years, I'd become close with the founder, Jason McCarthy and had even joined the board of advisors. What I found so unique about GORUCK was that the more I dug into the company, the better it looked. This is especially rare in today's world of social media where many brands look great at a glance, but fall apart under closer examination. This was the opposite, what Jason and the team had built was a solid brand and business that showed real potential to do BIG things. On top of it all, GORUCK is a company with a soul and a real mission - to get people moving, build communities, and give back to our veterans. The chance to join this team, work with Jason, and help take GORUCK to the next level was a unicorn of a professional opportunity. There was only one possible issue - we'd have to leave Tampa and move to Jacksonville Beach.

What many of you know, but some of you don't, is that I was divorced in 2012 and have since shared custody of my two wonderful boys, Dylan and Dalton. Living in two homes is always tough for kids, but I'd say that we've all managed it pretty well over the years. It's not been without its challenges, but they're growing into awesome little men and we've worked hard to maintain a strong family life. We knew that moving four hours away would be a huge shift in the family dynamics and Jeni and I mulled it over endlessly. Ultimately, we decided that we could make it work. We'd have less time with the boys, but we'd make sure to focus on quality and would really maximize our time during holidays and over the summer. Maybe it would be easier for them to have one clear, primary home with their mom? So, last summer, after a really memorable 5-week family trip down to Costa Rica, we packed up all of our stuff, sold our house, and left Tampa behind. It was an exciting move and life was immediately great at the beach, but it only took a few months and a couple dozen long drives to realize that we'd left behind much more than our home town.

We could feel the boys pulling away. All of the hours in the car, the missed moments, and disruptions of their lives were taking a toll. We still had fun when we were together, but you could feel our relationships fundamentally changing and starting to become more transactional. There was no more homework or packing lunches or soccer practice. They didn't live with us anymore...they were just visiting. The distance just kept getting greater and they eventually stopped returning most of my messages and rarely answered a FaceTime request. That's a painful reality to confront.

Meanwhile, things at the beach were otherwise fantastic. The business was doing well with lots of exciting stuff on the horizon. Jeni, Penny, and I were having fun, making friends, and loving life. Still, I couldn't help feeling terribly out of alignment...and it was obvious why. I just had to acknowledge it. One morning, I got up, looked in the mirror and said, "If your 11 and 8 year old sons aren't returning your texts or answering your calls, then your shit is broken and you better fucking fix it." That night, I talked with Jeni and we agreed that we had to go back. We weren't sure exactly what this meant in practical terms, but we just knew that we had to make it happen. Period.

That Friday, I sat down with Jason and told him that we needed to move back to Tampa. It felt like hell. He'd given me a chance to come in a play such a big role in the business and offered me a chance to be a partner in the company. More importantly, he'd trusted me with a brand and community that are literally priceless. While I understood that it was infeasible for me to run the day-to-day operations from Tampa, I really hoped to find some way to stay involved with GORUCK for the long haul. After some time to think it through, we agreed that I needed to step down as President of the company, but should stay engaged in some official capacity...which I'm incredible grateful for. And so began, the process of making another transition.

A couple of months later, we've just moved into a new home that sits about a mile from the boys' school. Jeni landed an awesome job with her former employer, Penny started a new daycare, and the boys are wrapping up their last week of school. As for me, I'm sitting at a coffee shop in Ybor City writing this blog. The work with the boys is just beginning. We know that it will take some time, but we are here to stay and are willing to spend as long as it takes to rebuild our family. Professionally, I'm not exactly sure what's next. As I mentioned, I'll continue to do some work with GORUCK to help grow the brand, will cadre some events, and will remain on the board of advisors. I'll also do a little consulting and plan to work with some other great leaders and organizations that are striving to build better teams and communities. Beyond that, we'll see what develops. Most importantly, I'll try to spend this summer being a husband and dad. With the kids out of school and a new house to work on, I imagine that I won't have trouble staying busy.