#MiPDV – Asking For Help

We’ve all had to ask someone for help in the past, and certainly have been asked to help someone else. That’s a normal part of work. 

Have you thought about what’s involved in asking for help? I believe there are some important elements involved in asking for help, whether you’re the one making the request or the one being asked to help. 

First, remember that when you’re asking for help, you’re really asking someone to do you a favor. Thinking of your request as asking for a favor helps to maintain the humility necessary to consider the request from their point of view. 

Next, knowing that everyone is busy, it is important to remember that asking someone to help you means you are asking them to make a tradeoff – by saying “yes” to you, they will need to say “no” to something else. Is your request important enough to take something else off their to-do list? 

Of course, the reverse applies – when someone asks you for help, what will you say “no” to? 

Here are some elements I’ve used to make my requests for help better: 

• Make sure the person is willing to help. Just because you ask doesn’t mean the person is able and willing to help – you should not simply assume that they have the capacity to fulfill your request. You never know what other priorities are competing for the time needed to help you.
• Make sure you’re asking someone who can provide the help you need. Is the person you’re asking the right person to help you? Do they have the knowledge and skills? If not, then why waste their time – move on to someone who can best fulfill your needs.
• Be clear on what you need. While your request is clear in your mind, it is not necessarily clear in the mind of the person you’re asking for help. Don’t expect them to be a mind-reader!
• Provide sufficient context. Giving some background is really important to the person you’re asking for help. I’ve received requests asking me to “Please read and provide your feedback” on documents and files without additional information. Without knowing what the purpose of the document/file is, or who it’s intended for, then I can’t really provide any useful feedback, which usually frustrates the person who’s asked for help.
• Be clear on importance and timeline. Is your request time-sensitive or can it wait? Is it drop-everything urgent or is it a low priority? Because the person will have to rearrange other priorities to help you, be respectful so they can best help you without inconveniencing others.
• Understand how long it will take to provide the request. Don’t expect a request that will take a week to be done in 24 hours. I’ve had requests where I’ve agreed to help, knowing it will take several days to complete, yet the requestor started asking me immediately why it wasn’t done.
• Be sure to thank the person for the help. It’s been amazing to me how often people forget to thank someone who’s helped them. It doesn’t need to be a gift – a simple email or call to thank them for the work is usually sufficient. Naturally, not saying thank you makes the person less likely to help you the next time you ask. 

At the same time, if you’re the one being asked for help: 

• Don’t be afraid to say no. Being asked for help doesn’t obligate you until you agree to help. If you don’t have the capacity to take on the request, it’s better to say no than to resent being asked or delivering a substandard response. If your boss is making the request and you’re overloaded, ask them to help you rearrange other priorities; doing so makes your boss see the totality of what’s already “on your plate” and gets their agreement on new priorities.
• If you’re unable to accept the request, offer an alternative. You have options if you don’t have the capacity to help at the moment. Is there someone you know who might be able to take on the work? Could you negotiate a later date?
• If you agree to help, be clear on expectations. It’s important to be sure you clearly understand what the requestor wants, the priority, and the timeline. Think of it like any other project – what is needed and by when, so no one is disappointed. 

You’ve seen in prior #MiPDV articles that I believe work is a team sport. We need to help each other. But we still should be aware that asking for help adds work to someone else, and we need to be respectful of their time and grateful for the favor they do for us. 

That’s mi punto de vista #MiPDV.