Facilitation Magic at the Margin
Thinking at the margin - think about your next step, day, or dollar and let the past go.
Marginal - incremental, slight or small.
And for those rather mundane definitions, operating at the margin is where I've found the greatest impact on personal success and sustainability. More and more, it is my answer to questions around how to improve performance and capability. And as I thought more about it this week in reaction to a question about my facilitation skills and style, this idea shines even more brightly with insight for me.
Effort, yes; Knowledge, yes; but....
In the past, my common answers to questions such as "what advice can you give me on improving XYZ..." or "how did you achieve your level of success in this area?" were in the areas of hard work, knowledge, and experience. Now these are both correct for me specifically, and logical more generally; however, as I've grown older and more experienced, they are insufficient and actually, plain lazy. While I can go into some depth about how to focus effort in key areas, obtain specific knowledge, or gain valuable experience, it still left me stale. I can do better than that, but what is it?
Magic at the Margins
Before going into details, I propose that even with diligence, knowledge, and experience, one will find the most impact at the margins - each individual decision made. I also believe there are great benefits from psychological perspectives.
Some Examples NOT from Facilitation
My most consuming hobby is competitive bodybuilding. Over the years I've had the fortune of great success in this area and invariably answer many questions about my success - from building muscle, to getting ripped, to nutrition, to cardiovascular exercise, to drying out before a competition - with some standard answers based on the effort I've expended, the knowledge I've acquired, and experiences I've accumulated. But even though that all that is valid, what really stands out that pushes me to the top, to peak performance, and to the success that I've experienced is actually my marginal decision making. Here are a few examples from bodybuilding:
- My workout was long today; I'm tired; I'll only do 30 minutes of cardio instead of 60 (ding, ding - an opportunity at the margin - yeah, 30 may be OK, but when I'm onstage in 3 months, will it really be ok?) Most others in my state will stop; I will finish my cardio.
- Gosh, this weight feels heavy today, one more rep and I'll take rest (ding, ding - an opportunity at the margin - let my body tell me when it is time to stop and push out as many reps as my body can). The most growth occurs with these intense reps, so mind - shut up - and let's go.
- They've got chocolate chip cookies in the cafe today! I've been strict on my diet this week so one cookie will do no harm (ding, ding - an opportunity at the margin - yeah, but it is just as easy to walk away, grab and apple, and celebrate the discipline). It will taste good, but not as good as first place.
As I thought through these and other examples of marginal behaviors, marginal decisions, some other interesting points came to mind:
- These aren't about Right and Wrong. Part of the value I see and experience in the margin is that it is not a success or failure, win or loss - it is about the most appropriate decision in the moment, given my aspirations and goals. In the examples, above, sometimes the decision is to eat a cookie, to stop the set, or to end my workout is actually the most appropriate. But not as often as when I stop to make a conscious decision.
- The psychological ask is relatively small, so when I do feel pressure to do one over the other, it can be sort of easy and also rewarding. (These are obviously not comparable to serious addictions where the psychological and even physiological ask is NOT small). Small wins feel just as good sometimes as epic ones.
- The critical factor in each case is a conscious decision to act, not just going with what my mind or emotions are telling me. Be aware, pause, consider, act. Interestingly, in my physical pursuits, it is not between my conscious decision and a habitual one, it is more often between my mind and body. So in those cases, I make a conscious physical decision listening to my body and telling my mind to take a break.
- Lastly, these marginal decisions build up in both impact and reinforcement. Many small decisions add up to great results; and many small decisions in support of my greater aspirations provide positive reinforcement and momentum - a virtuous cycle.
So Back to Facilitation
As this relates to facilitation, where I started from a question I received this week, I do think of these marginal decisions in a specific way - do I decide to be Courageous or not. In the same way I can sum up a volume of decisions about what to eat in the representation of a nutrition plan, I can sum up a volume of decisions about facilitation in the representation of Courageous Facilitation advice. Here are some examples from my experiences:
- I know that at this moment, an open-ended question to the group will be impactful AND there is the chance that I will blow the rest of the session or create a maelstrom. I ask the question.
- I asked a question and the group is silent. I could rephrase it....I could add more context....I could give my answer as an example....but silence is actually more valuable than voicing in this moment. I embrace the silence.
- They only have a bit more to go to wrap this up, but I will have to skip the closing or compress it to virtually "thanks, good-bye." A strong close is too important; I bring them to a close.
- This group is reacting in a way that maybe I should hold all questions to the end so I can get through my content (Content is King!). No, it is NOT about me or my content, it is about the participants; let's ENGAGE now!
There are so many other examples of marginal decisions in Courageous facilitation, might be a worthwhile endeavor to try to capture them in one place. In any case, what I've realized through thinking more about this recently is that THIS is where I've made the most progress and accumulated the most capability - consciously making each individual decision to be courageous, even when uncomfortable, even when scared. Add THIS to effort, knowledge, and experience and you will experience not just improvement but peak experiences that feel magical.