Did This Ever Happen To You?

How often do we miss out on getting our “vacuum cleaner?” How often do we leave our teams and even our customers baffled/battered/bruised and at a loss because of negative self-thought/self-talk? 

This sesame street scene has never ceased to amaze and amuse me, but it does pack a serious punch when looked at from a leadership standpoint. 

In my experience as choral conductor, it is so easy for this scene to play out in the rehearsal or even a performance. If I’m completely honest, it’s quite natural for a scene like this to play out in an ensemble context. One of my conducting professors, Dr. James Jordan , uses the term mimetic processing to describe this phenomenon and, maybe, for all of us, the default setting is to the negative side of the number line.  On the negative side, we practice bad mimetic processing rather than good mimetic processing.

So, here’s how this works. Just like Ernie cheerfully walks up to his neighbor’s door with the perfect idea of borrowing his neighbor’s vacuum cleaner, the conductor comes into the rehearsal with the perfect sound of the music to be rehearsed/performed in his/her head, or ear, if you prefer. 

(As you may have noticed though, the response to your team/ensemble may very well be decided before you even begin interacting with them.)

Then it happens, the first negative thought (Ernie), the first sound that doesn’t match that perfect sound in the conductor’s sound scape. What happens next determines whether bad or good mimetic processing occurs. This scene went down the road of bad mimetic processing rather quickly.

Once that idea/desire for perfection isn’t met, anger sets in and then the dance of the classic domino effect ensues. The anger leads to:

·  self-mutilation (e.g. Ernie starts to think of himself as a bad neighbor and an

annoyance)

·  mistrust of self (e.g. He questions his own judgement and decision making)

·  mistrust of the team (e.g. The neighbor is now seen as the enemy)

·  inhumaneness (e.g. Ernie is no longer concerned about his neighbor, as a

person)

·  violent frustration (e.g. Without warning, he blurts his scathing remarks at his

neighbor)

·  scapegoating (e.g. He blames his neighbor for ruining his solution)

·  cover story (e.g. He justifies his actions by assuming the worse)

In the ensemble setting, the conductor:

·  becomes critical of his/her competencies

·  begins to doubt oneself

·  begins to mistrust the ensemble

·  loses the sense of compassion and caring for the ensemble members

·  becomes visibly, maybe even audibly, frustrated

·  begins to blame sections, or even individuals, for destroying the perfect sound

·  creates a story to rationalize why “the blamed” deserved the onslaught that

they received (the tenors deserved it; they were singing flat for more than half

the rehearsal)

Does this sound familiar?   Does that ‘one moment’ on ‘that’ project come to mind? Do you remember that moment when the leader blew a fuse and decimated the entire team and, perhaps, all but derailed the project?

Since bad mimetic processing is our default setting, that means that good mimetic processing involves at least a measure of deliberate action. In its totality, good mimetic processing is a matter of choice and the only way to get better at it is to choose it and practice it every day. 

How does good mimetic processing look? In good mimetic processing the leader is concerned about:

·  impact, rather than perfection

·  showing love and care, rather than anger

·  exhibiting selflessness, rather than selfishness

·  allowing team members to be themselves and to grow, rather than inflating self

·  accepting each team member as an individual, rather than forcing everyone

into the same factory type production mold

·  helping others, rather than beating them down

·  building trust in the team, rather than fostering self-doubt and mistrust

·  empowering the team, rather than over-powering the team

·  living the purpose and inspiring performance, rather than creating pressure to

perform

Does this sound familiar?  Does that ‘one moment’ on ‘that’ project come to mind? Do you remember that moment when the leader made everyone on the team feel like they were the only person in the room and the project took flight?

Quite naturally, mimetic processing has emerged as a core element in the leadership framework that I like to call “Lead Like You’re Blind”. I came to this name for this framework based on a lived experience early in my conducting career and it revealed 5 main pillars to me. The pillars form the acronym, L.L.E.A.D, and my engagement with them has crystallized my belief in their ability to let leaders truly experience good mimetic processing.

Anyone ready to get into the good mimetic processing rehearsal room? Let’s go get that vacuum cleaner!