Dealing with a setback at work
Sometimes things don’t go well at work. We might disappoint our boss by not delivering what was asked for. We might say the wrong thing in a meeting. More seriously, our action or inaction may cost our company time, clients or money.
Whatever the scenario, it’s important to deal with setbacks in as constructive a way as possible. Setbacks, while difficult in the short-term, provide opportunities for long-term learning and growth. Here I outline a simple framework to deal with your next setback at work – feel, reflect and repair.
Feel
When something goes wrong, our instinctive reaction is usually to try move on from it as quickly as possible. It’s natural to want to contain and minimise the effects of a setback. But if we try to sweep our thoughts and feelings away to a dusty corner of our mind, we may find them crawling back to our consciousness as we lay awake at night, replaying the day’s events.
That’s why it’s critical to allow ourselves to feel when things go wrong. Overt displays of emotion are not encouraged in most professional settings – we’re conscious of the impacts our emotions and behaviours have on our co-workers. However, it’s better for our mental health if we allow ourselves to feel the sadness, disappointment or anger following a setback. Seeking out a safe environment to process feelings is key – such as the quiet park or café near the office.
Reflect
It’s critical to move from feeling to reflection to deal with setbacks constructively. Feeling represents the immediate, surface-level reaction to a setback. Reflection provides the opportunity to delve deeper and process a setback in a rational way.
Opportunities to reflect can be hard to come by in today’s digital world. Reflection requires us to consciously push ‘pause’, put away our devices and engage with the feelings of disappointment that follow a setback. The type of reflection that works best for each of us will differ according to personalities. Some of us will like to find a quite space with a notebook to process our thoughts. Others will prefer to speak with a trusted confidante, processing a setback as the conversation unfolds. Whatever approach we take, the goal is to objectively assess a) what happened, b) what our role in the setback was, and c) how we can take something positive from the experience.
Repair
Once we’ve reflected, we want to try repair the situation and restore a sense of balance following a setback. Repair does not necessarily involve doing something external, like apologising to our boss. It can include opportunities for self-repair. For instance, we may gain a new insight into our character and learn a lesson we can apply to avoid future setbacks.
Reparative action is the important final step that enables us to take something positive from a setback and move on. By feeling, reflecting and repairing, we can use the negative experience of a setback to better understand ourselves and grow not only as workers – but as people.
