Authentic self vs learned patterns

Dealing with people in the workplace can be challenging.

Work pressures can sometimes stop trust relationships developing in a natural way 'I need something from you! ' If I don't get what I need will I have to confront you and break trust in order to get my outcome? or

You are currently behaving the way I need and expect (For now), therefore im ok to develop a trust relationship with you (For the moment). What happens when that trust breaks ? Based on my experience this seems to be the default setting when building corporate relationships.

These strategy's come from years of interacting in this way whereby we manipulate situations to get the outcomes from others we need. A classic example is when someone has not responded to a request and you have asked multiple times. The usual approach is to escalate and cc their boss or your boss or both. That is designed to apply pressure on that person and force them to do what you request. (Breaks trust right? I am now wary of you and more likely to be guarded when you deal with me again)

If that relationship had developed under a different strategy would you even get into those situations at all? I made a conscious effort recently to build ALL my professional and personal relationships around 2 key values.

1) I'm invested in your success (Default setting from the get go - no strings attached)

I believe this creates more trust than you ever could using the other method and allows the relationship to be forged 'over time' into much more than just a transactional work place relationship.

2) Im going to be my true self always no fake 'Work Personas' (what you see is what you get always)

Iv recently seen this in action iv felt way more connection with people than I normally would had I been employing 'strategies' to get my outcomes. Which is what I used to do all the time. I'm keen to hear about your thoughts and experiences in relations to this topic. Leave a comment