AudioBook #2 - Coaching for Performance
To me, when I hear the word “coach” used to denote a profession, I inevitably think of sports. Tennis coach, soccer coach, swimming coach... My 2nd audiobook, Coaching for Performance: The Principles and Practice of Coaching and Leadership by Sir John Whitmore, turns out to have very little to do with sports, but a lot more to do with business. This book came to me as a result of a simple question I asked my coach shortly before Christmas: “Can you recommend some books so I can get an idea what coaching is really about?” This book is Coaching 101.
When I first “opened” this book, I was appalled by the number of chapters in this book - 23 in total! However, each chapter is relatively short (30 minutes) which to me, makes it ideal for listening. I can pop in my earphones and finish a chapter while taking a break, which I must say is mandatory for anyone working from home!
As someone growing up in a former British colony, the word “Sir’ perked my interest. How did Sir John get the title? Was it hereditary? Was he knighted because he accomplished some feat for the good of the Commonwealth? Turns out the title was inherited, but before he took on professional coaching as a career, he was a race car driver! Later on in Chapter 21 speaking about the Qualities of Leadership, Sir John revealed how he was attracted to coaching and leadership as it was tied to his passion of promoting social justice and commitment to averting the abuse of power whenever possible.
The following is a collection of notes that speaks to me from listening to the book.
- What is coaching? Before reading this book, I thought of coaching similar to mentoring; a person with experience passing along advice to a younger mentee over a cup of tea/coffee. But this book says coaching is neither teaching, instructing nor mentoring - as mentors are usually SMEs, but coaches need not be. A coach is not a problem solver, a counselor, an advisor, or an expert.
- Coaching is about creating the conditions for learning and growing.
- A coach is a facilitator and acts like a sounding board. S(he) is someone who walks alongside with the coachee on a journey, helping the latter to to build self awareness and responsibility which are the 2 important aspects of excellent performance. I like how Sir John uses the literal definition of a “coach” (a horse-drawn carriage or a railroad car) as an analogy for embarking a journey with the person being coached..
- Coaching is the practice of Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ). According to Sir John, “EI is a life skill and should be taught at school.” When a leader/manager adopts a coaching style, the relationship between coach/coachee is one of partnership, displaying trust, safety and minimal pressure. Coaching is EI in practice and demands the higher quality of the leader, namely empathy, integrity and balance.
2. An interesting concept that I learnt from the book is the role of the leader. Leaders have 2 functions: (i) Get the job done (and done well of course) and (ii) Develop their people. However, most of the time, managers get the job done well, but do not have time to develop their people. Also at times, (i) and (ii) seem conflicting, as getting the job done concerns the present, whereas development always has to do with the future as it is about potential, growth and vision, innovation and creativity. Stuck with the tension getting the job done and developing people, one organizational model actually tries to separate management and leadership. Management focuses on the present, the operational, the process of getting the job done. Leadership focuses on development, vision and future, learning together and generating ideas together. This book then shows how a coaching approach allows the tension between management and leadership to be embraced and leveraged.
Two of my favorite chapters in the book are:
Chapter 7 - Asking Powerful Questions.
How thrilling one must feel to know the answers to every question people throw at you! But according to Sir John, this is one area coaches should avoid doing at all costs! A good coach is an expert in asking questions; it is the coachee who discovers the answers.
Sir John gives some advice on how to ask open questions for descriptive answers. Use the terms “What”, “When” and “Who” to seek facts.
Avoid the frequent use of “Why” and “How” as they can often sound judgmental, and perceived as critical. In this chapter, Sir John also provides some tips on how to convert "Why" questions into "What" questions. For example: “Why on earth did you do this???” can be rephrased as “ What are the reasons for...”
Powerful questions should bring out the following from the coachee as they are based on the interests and agenda of the coachee. When asked correctly, they should be non-judgmental and:
- Create awareness and responsibility from the coachee
- Inspire creativity and resourcefulness
- Increase possibilities and vision
- Goal oriented and solution focused
Chapter 8 - Active Listening
I must confess that I always think of myself as a good listener (good meaning better than average), as I am interested in others’ opinions and am not very good expressing myself verbally. So to me listening trumps speaking. But after reading this chapter, and exercising self awareness on how I interact with my direct reports during our one-on-one meetings, I come to the conclusion that I certainly evaluate myself too highly.
Listening is a skill that requires concentration and practice. Sir John actually used the traditional Chinese character for listen “聽” to illustrate this point. The character “聽” presents two images:
On the left half, it shows an ear with a king. So to listen is to Hear as if the other party is a king; implying to give the other party the full attention.
On the right half, from top to bottom, it shows the characters for “ten”, “eye”, “one”, and “heart”.
- “Five pairs of eyes”. So to listen means to be observant, to heed when listening.
- "One”. So to listen requires undivided attention.
- “ Heart”. So to listen requires your heart in addition to ears and eyes.
This chapter reminds me of Habit #5 in Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood.” In his book, Covey described this as emphatic listening where one listens with the intent to understand. To quote from the book, this means to “get inside another person’s frame of reference… see the world the way they see the world, understand their paradigm, understand how they feel.”
As Sir John puts it, “It is a luxury to be listened to and to be truly heard!”
After learning about Chapter 7 and Chapter 8, I decided to put these tools into action. At first, I thought, how difficult can this be? This is not rocket science. But turns out it is not as simple and easy as I think. In fact I discovered it is very difficult to do both at the same time. When I tried to listen actively, I was drawn into the conversation and I failed to come up with powerful questions at the right time. And when I tried to ask powerful questions, I often found myself not listening to understand, but rather listen with the intent to reply or give advice. Hopefully I get more opportunities to practice and improve these skills - Practise makes perfect!
The chapters towards the end of this book cover topics about the benefits of Coaching in an organization and the qualities of leaders of the future. The last chapter is called Advanced Coaching which to me sounds a bit metaphysical but is rather interesting. Overall, I enjoyed reading this book. It offers some practical tools that are worth trying out. Reflecting on it, I think this book is built on an assumption - it assumes that everyone (coachee) has an inner potential that can be developed and mined for performance through self awareness which leads to taking ownership and responsibilities. If you buy into this concept, then yes this book is worth reading. But if not, then this book may not be your cup of tea.
