Recognizing Constructive Feedback

How you receive feedback Determines how successful you become (in career and life). 4 proven tips to help you gracefully accept the gift of feedback: 1/ Listen actively Why: By approaching feedback with curiosity, you show a willingness to listen to understand (vs. to respond) the other person's perspective. How: Maintain eye contact, nod to acknowledge understanding, and wait until the person has finished speaking before responding. Remember, listening doesn't mean you agree with everything. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my presentation. I'm curious to learn more. Can you elaborate on the areas you think need improvement and what advice you have on how I can approach these differently?" 2/ Seek diverse perspectives Why: Asking for feedback from different people gives you a clearer picture of what you’re doing well and where you can improve. Plus, it helps you spot patterns in how others see your work. How: After receiving feedback on risk management from one person, reach out to others for additional perspective. "I'm looking to improve the quality of my risk management and reporting within my program. Do you have any advice for me in this area? Your input will help me de-risk execution and provide more accurate representation to stakeholders." 3/ Take time to process and reflect Why: Feedback can sting at first contact. Taking time to process it helps you manage your emotional response and consider it objectively. You can then identify key takeaways and develop a plan for implementing changes. How: "I appreciate your feedback on my communication style. I want to take some time to reflect on your suggestions and consider how to incorporate them into my interactions with the team. Can we schedule a follow-up meeting to discuss my action plan next week?" 4/ Express gratitude and close the loop Why: Expressing gratitude shows that you value the person's time and effort in providing feedback. Following up proves you’re serious about improving. How: "Thank you for sharing your feedback on my project estimations. Your input on factoring dependency review timelines has given me valuable perspective. Attached is the revised proposal based on your suggestions. I welcome any additional feedback you may have." PS: Feedback is not all-or-nothing. Even if you don't agree with everything, there's usually something valuable to take away. PPS: How gracefully you handle feedback directly correlates with whether others will give it to you (again). Image Credit: Roberto Ferraro

In my 18 years at Amazon, I've seen more careers transformed by the next 2 weeks than by the other 50 weeks of the year combined. It's performance review season. Most people rush through it like a chore, seeing it as an interruption to their "real work." The smartest people I know do the opposite: they treat these upcoming weeks as their highest-leverage opportunity of the year. After handling over fifty feedback requests, self-reviews, and upward feedback 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 for nearly two decades, I've learned this isn't just another corporate exercise. This is when careers pivot, accelerate, or stall. Your feedback directly impacts compensation, career trajectories, and professional growth. Your self-assessment frames how leadership views your entire year's work. This isn't busywork—it's career-defining work, but we treat it with as much enthusiasm as taking out trash. Here's how to make the most of it: 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗻'𝘁 - Ask yourself: "What perspective am I uniquely positioned to share?" Everyone will comment on the obvious wins and challenges. Your job is to provide insights others miss, making your feedback instantly invaluable. 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆 𝗯𝗶𝗮𝘀 - I keep a living document for every person I work with. When something feedback-worthy happens—good or challenging—it goes in immediately. No more scrambling to remember projects from months ago. This ensures specific, timely examples when needed. 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 - Don't just list tasks—craft a narrative. Lead with behaviors that drove impact. Show your growth in handling complex situations, influencing across teams, and making difficult trade-offs. Demonstrate self-awareness by acknowledging areas where you're actively improving. 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿 - They receive little feedback all year. Focus on how they help you succeed and specific ways they could support you better. Make it dense with information—this might be their only chance to learn how to serve their team better. 𝗢𝗻 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 - The difference between criticism and valuable input is showing you genuinely want the other person to succeed. When that intention shines through, you don't need to walk on eggshells. Be specific about the behavior, its impact, and how it could improve. 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 - Good constructive feedback often feels like an insult at first. But here's the mindset shift that changed everything for me: feedback is a gift. It's direct guidance on improvement from those who work closest with you. When you feel that defensive instinct rise, pause and focus on understanding instead. Here's your challenge: This year, treat performance review season like the most important work you'll do. Because in terms of long-term impact on careers—both yours and others'—it just might be.

During my formative years, I followed the traditional feedback formula: begin with compliments, provide criticism, and conclude with support. However, I left behind this "feedback sandwich" (or compliment cushioning) method many years ago. The issue? This method weakens significant messages. When encased in praise, constructive criticism diminishes its effectiveness. Even more troubling, team members come to expect criticism whenever you begin with compliments("Here comes the 'but'..."). An improved approach: Be straightforward and precise: I begin with the specific action or result that requires attention. There is no introduction, only clarity. Emphasise effect: I describe how the particular behaviour influences results, team dynamics, or business performance. Present as growth: I view feedback as a chance for progress instead of a personal critique. Collaborate actively: I inquire about their viewpoint and collectively explore solutions. My perspective may overlook something. Separate praise entirely. I offer genuine praise independently. My constructive feedback stands on its merit—never as a softening prelude to criticism.

When we receive "constructive" feedback, our brain typically goes into fight-or-flight because the feedback threatens our false identity as perfectionists who never make mistakes. It's not just that our WORK PRODUCT is flawed; we feel flawed. We then default into physical, emotional and cognitive contraction -- receiving the information defensively or aggressively. To be effective at receiving feedback, we must be intentional and strategic about what we say and how we act when the feedback is being conveyed -- otherwise our default nervous system reactions will contaminate our thinking and our behavior. This will harm both our learning/growth and our relationship with the feedback giver -- 2 core pillars of excelling professionally. So how do we override our default reactions and instead signal -- to the feedback giver AND to our own brain -- openness, curiosity and a growth mindset? Here are 4 of the practical tips I shared during "The Art & Science of Receiving Feedback" breakouts I led at the Fisher Phillips retreat last week: 💫 NON-VERBALS: override unconscious physical contraction across the top 5 non-verbals: posture (90°+ between spine and pelvis to overcome "bracing"), arms (don’t create a barrier), eyes (un-squint), mouth (unlock jaw and lips), and breath (deepen to diaphragm and lengthen each cycle). 💫 FIRST UTTERANCE: make your first response either gratitude (a sentence of appreciation) OR pause (if you're too emotional to express gratitude, apply Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's 90-Second Rule) to buy time before speaking. Requesting time to reflect and circling back later that day or next day is highly effective. (We do NOT need to respond substantively in real time, despite our mind’s illusion.) 💫 PARAPHRASE THE FEEDBACK: your first substantive response should NOT be agreement or evaluation; it should summarize it in your own words. This increases comprehension, demonstrates understanding, signals openness, and builds trust (people trust those who understand their views). 💫 ASK 1-2 DEEPENING QUESTIONS: again delaying evaluation, identify 1-2 questions that deepen the discussion beyond what was initially shared by the feedback giver -- demonstrating openness, engagement, and the ability to take the feedback to a deeper or more nuanced level. Then -- AND ONLY THEN -- are you positioned to begin evaluating the validity of the feedback. And yet, as a result of these initial responses, you will have overridden your default reactions, built trust with the feedback giver, cemented your orientation into a growth mindset, and primed your brain to maximally comprehend and evaluate the feedback. Having a simple, science-based road map in those uncomfortable feedback conversations can be a real game-changer. Otherwise, we tend to "shoot from the hip" -- and that is NOT when our highest and best self emerges.... Would love to hear any thoughts, additions, or insights you have on the above!

When was the last time you got unsolicited feedback? For many leaders, it’s rare. Most operate in a feedback vacuum. Few companies run 360s and many are too busy “leading,” assume silence is approval, or subtly discourage the candor they say they want. So when candid feedback does come–from a peer or team member–it can feel like a gut punch. Even if it’s constructive, our defenses rise. The urge to explain, defend or dismiss is strong. But in that moment lies a critical leadership choice: see it as an attack, or see it as data. As an executive coach, I help leaders reframe these moments. The feedback might be biased or ill-informed, or it might expose a blind spot you didn’t know you had. Your job isn’t to accept it as truth, but to decode it. Here’s a simple framework to process rattling feedback productively: 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴. A simple “Thank you for sharing that. I appreciate your candor,” buys you time, keeps the dialogue open, and allows you to process your reaction. 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗮. Ask yourself:  -- “What does this reveal about how I’m perceived, even if it’s not my intention?” -- “What context, pressures, or motivations might be shaping their view?” 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗮. Seek more data. Listen for patterns. If you hear it once, it’s opinion. If you hear it from others, it’s likely pointing to a blind spot worth your attention. 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱. If it’s a pattern, use it as a driver for change and growth. If it’s an outlier, acknowledge and move on. You can choose to hear the perception without adopting it as your reality. The best leaders aren’t perfect. They're curious, and have the courage to close the gap between their intent and their impact. What’s one piece of difficult feedback that turned out to be valuable for you?

"Feedback is a gift. It's an opportunity to learn and grow" At Google, we believe in the power of feedback to drive improvement. Sometimes feedback can be tough to hear. But taking the time to unpack it, understand the perspective, and reflect on it is crucial. Why feedback matters: - It reveals blind spots we cannot see ourselves - It accelerates learning by shortcutting trial and error - It demonstrates that others are invested in your success - It creates alignment between perception and reality How to receive feedback effectively: 1. Approach with curiosity, not defensiveness When receiving feedback, your first reaction might be to justify or explain. Instead, listen deeply and ask clarifying questions: "Can you give me a specific example?" or "What would success look like to you?" 2. Separate intention from impact Remember that well-intentioned actions can still have unintended consequences. Focus on understanding the impact rather than defending your intentions. 3. Look for patterns across multiple sources Individual feedback may reflect personal preferences, but patterns across multiple sources often reveal genuine opportunities for growth. 4. Prioritize actionable insights Not all feedback requires action. Evaluate which points will have the greatest impact on your effectiveness and focus your energy there. 5. Follow up and close the loop Demonstrate your commitment by acknowledging the feedback, sharing your action plan, and following up on your progress. Creating a feedback-rich environment: - Model vulnerability by asking for feedback yourself - Recognize and celebrate when people implement feedback successfully - Make it routine through structured check-ins rather than waiting for formal reviews At Google, we've learned that organizations with robust feedback cultures innovate faster, adapt more quickly to market changes, and build more inclusive workplaces. Let's commit to seeing feedback not as criticism but as a valuable investment in our collective future. The discomfort is temporary, but the growth is lasting. #motivation #productivity #mindset

Ever spent hours debugging a tricky issue in code? You try one fix… doesn’t work. You tweak something else… still broken. Then, finally, you find that one key insight that makes everything click. Feedback works the same way. It’s your best debugging tool for life and career. But here’s the problem — most people ignore it, take it personally, or fail to recognize it when they get it. And just like ignoring error messages in your IDE, this slows down your progress. Here are... 👉 The 3 Types of Feedback You Need to Recognize 👈 Not all feedback is the same. Just like in debugging, different types of clues point to different kinds of issues. 1️⃣ Syntax Feedback (Surface-Level Corrections) The easiest to spot: typos, miscommunications, technical mistakes. ► Example: Your boss suggests you make your emails clearer. 2️⃣ Logic Feedback (Flaws in Your Thinking or Process) Digs deeper into how you approach problems. ► Example: A mentor tells you that you’re overengineering a solution when a simpler approach would work. 3️⃣ Architecture Feedback (Big-Picture Growth Opportunities) The hardest to hear — but the most valuable. It challenges your assumptions and forces major growth. ► Example: A peer says you struggle with delegation, limiting your leadership potential. 👉 The Key to Growth: Debugging Your Blind Spots 👈 The fastest way to level up? Get better at recognizing and using all three types of feedback. Think about the last piece of feedback you received. Was it Syntax, Logic, or Architecture feedback? Did you dismiss it, get defensive, or use it to improve? Drop a comment — I’d love to hear how you’ve handled feedback in the past!

Feedback is fuel. For self-awareness. For growth. For building trust. For creating strong relationships. I bet we all know this, yet so many of us hesitate when we hear it’s coming our way. Performance review incoming = brace, brace! We often steel ourselves for it, expecting criticism, judgment, or something that will make us feel less. But what if we changed how we think about feedback? What if we saw it for what it really is - a gift? Great feedback, when given constructively, isn’t about tearing us down. It’s about helping us see what we might not see ourselves. It gives us clarity, direction, and the chance to improve. It shouldn’t be a verdict, but an invitation to grow. Here’s a few ways to shift how we think about feedback: ➡ It’s not personal, it’s perspective – even when it’s about us, it’s just someone’s view. We get to decide what to take on and how to use it. People have biases, bad days, only see one side of the story so consider what influences the feedback you get to try and keep it in perspective. ➡ The best leaders seek it out – they don’t wait for feedback to be given; they ask for it. They know self-awareness is a superpower. And the more senior you get, the more important it is that you actively request it because less people are willing or in a position to give it freely. ➡ It’s a tool, not a threat – when framed constructively, feedback helps us refine our skills, strengthen our impact, and build better relationships. If we can reframe feedback as a tool for growth rather than something to fear, we unlock more potential in ourselves and others. So next time you receive feedback, pause before reacting. Instead of resisting it, ask: ❓What can I learn from this? ❓How can it help me improve? The most successful people aren’t the ones who avoid feedback. They’re the ones who listen, reflect, and use it to get even better. What’s the best piece of feedback you’ve ever received? And if you haven’t had any feedback for a while use #feedbackfriday and ask someone for their thoughts today. #selfawareness #development #growth #emotionalintelligence