Developing a Mentor-Mentee Rapport

Top managers don’t require #mentoring anymore? Wrong. The opposite is true. Still, it is something not disclosed too often. As to myself, I am learning from many people, but one person clearly stands out. Ralf Thomas of Siemens is a companion and counselor to me since 20 years and across several companies and development steps. We started our journey at Siemens when, as a “young” M&A project manager, I approached him on the occasion of a finance talent program. From there on, we kept the dialogue. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲? Through meetings and calls every now and then, sometimes shorter and more casual, sometimes longer and more concentrated. Always considerate of his extremely tight schedule. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝘂𝘀𝘀? Personal development, the role of a CFO, also vis-à-vis the management team, requirements of and people around new positions, the general state of affairs and the contribution of business leaders. 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 on productive mentorship: Personal fit matters a lot, in terms of character, values, thinking, also to some degree the age difference (in our case 10 years). Don’t be shy, approach personalities you consider inspiring. If they have an edge for people development, they will be open. Clarify expectations and operating mode explicitly. Take initiative. As a mentee, always prepare. E.g. practically, until today, I sketch an update of my situation and potential discussion topics and share before our meetings/calls. Focus on the material points, don’t waste time. Be flexible on format. Openness is of the essence. Think reciprocal – (try to) offer information pieces of benefit to the mentor. Be persistent, do not let it slip away. As any personal relationship, it requires interest, proactiveness, investment. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁? The trust and “close to friends” relationship we have built. My mentor’s optimism … and: tolerance for my mistakes 😉. Thank you Ralf, I am grateful for 20 insightful years (and hopefully many more to come)! What are some of your mentoring experiences?

Don’t just ask someone to “be your mentor” — be intentional about how you work with them. Mentorship has shaped my career in big ways. One of my earliest mentors was an interim pro-vice-chancellor when I worked at a university. That relationship led to the opportunity to work in India — something I never could have planned, but which completely shifted my trajectory. I still work with mentors today, so when people approach me for mentorship, I try to help where I can. Enter Iqra Ali. She recently reached out with the perfect approach — clear, thoughtful, and showing she’s driven, passionate, approachable, and ready to put the work in. And that’s the difference. Mentorship works when the mentee drives the relationship. From both sides, here’s what I’ve seen matters most: ✅ Be clear on what you need support with ✅ Do your research before you reach out ✅ Come prepared and on time ✅ Keep your mentor updated on progress ✅ Follow up promptly — respect their time Beyond the basics, mentorship can also be strategic: ✅ Learn from people indirectly (blogs, podcasts, videos, talks) ✅ Build a network of mentors, not just one ✅ Set yourself weekly challenges to apply advice ✅ Invest in yourself — through mentors, courses, and training I truly believe mentorship can be a game-changing investment. But it does require time, and sometimes money. If you’re clear on what you want, open to feedback, and willing to put the work in, the return on this investment will continue to pay off again and again throughout your career. #mentorship

🌟 Are Your Reverse Mentoring Relationships as Impactful as They Could Be? 🌟  Having been deeply involved in Reverse Mentoring, I’ve seen its transformative power when it’s done well. Yet, all too often, mentoring programmes fall short of their potential because the key ingredients for a successful partnership are overlooked.  Reverse Mentoring shouldn’t just be a tick-box exercise—it’s an opportunity to forge meaningful connections and drive growth. Here are three ways to ensure your Reverse Mentoring relationships make a real impact:  🔑 𝟭. 𝗘𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀   Lay a strong foundation by aligning on the purpose of the relationship. Have open conversations about desired outcomes, time commitments, communication frequency, and boundaries. Clarity sets the tone for success.  🤝 𝟮. 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 Reverse Mentoring shouldn’t feel forced. It’s about more than just exchanging knowledge—it’s about trust and understanding. Take the time to truly get to know your mentor or mentee as a whole person, not just a professional. Authenticity creates deeper connections.    💬 𝟯. 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗢𝗻𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸   Great mentoring is a two-way exchange. Make space for honest, constructive feedback in both directions. This mutual accountability helps address challenges, maintain focus, and maximise the strengths each person brings to the table.  Stepping into the role of a Reverse Mentor is a commitment to personal and professional growth—for both parties. It’s about creating transformative partnerships that leave a lasting impact.  ✨ Reverse Mentoring is not just about sharing knowledge—it’s about reimagining what mentorship can achieve.  What has your experience of Reverse Mentoring been? Let’s discuss!  #ReverseMentoring #MentoringMatters #Leadership #Connection  

When people think about mentorship, they often imagine guidance, advice, or career direction. But the most meaningful moments rarely come from “answers.” They come from the in-between spaces; the honest conversations about dreams not yet fully formed, the admission of fears we don’t always say out loud, the questions that don’t have neat or immediate solutions. And when these are shared, what once feels like a heavy, personal burden starts to become… lighter. More navigable. Sometimes even exciting. Because when we speak our uncertainties out loud, they stop being barriers and start becoming possibilities, things we can test, explore, and learn from. That, to me, is the real power of mentoring. It creates a space where: • Ambition is clarified, not judged • Fear is acknowledged, not hidden • Ideas are explored, not dismissed too quickly And in that space, both mentor & mentee grow. As mentors, we are reminded that we don’t need to have all the answers; only the willingness to listen, to ask better questions, and to share honestly from our own journeys. As mentees, there is courage in showing up as you are, not as who you think you need to be. Through my work as a mentor to the fellows each year with the Singapore Leaders Network (SGLN) & also through the mentoring journeys we continue to build at PHOENIXUS, I’ve seen this play out time and again: when you bring together intention, trust & a shared desire to grow, powerful transformation happens. Not overnight transformation. But steady, meaningful progress. And perhaps most importantly, the realisation that no one has to navigate their journey alone. Looking forward to many more conversations ahead with my mentee this year, Annabelle Loke! P/S Hope you are enjoying The Art of Joy, written by Woon Tai Ho about artist, Yew Chong Yip, both featured recently in PHOENIXUS CxO Bookclub session! #Mentorship #SGLN #LeadershipDevelopment #GrowthMindset #Phoenixus #WomenInLeadership #PayItForward

Memoirs of a Gully Boy Episode 32: #Mentorship – The Bridge to Collective Growth In every career, there comes a point when the focus shifts from personal success to creating opportunities for others. Mentorship is that bridge—a powerful tool that not only shapes individuals but also builds stronger teams and organizations. The Early Lessons in Guidance One of my first experiences as a mentor came during a high-stakes project involving a new hire fresh out of college. The project’s complexity overwhelmed him, and mistakes became frequent. Instead of micromanaging or criticizing, I walked him through the basics, shared my own early career struggles, and gave him the space to learn. With time and encouragement, he gained confidence and delivered key components of the project. Watching him grow and succeed was as rewarding as achieving the project’s goals. Lesson 1: A mentor’s role is not to provide all the answers but to enable others to find their own. During a process optimization project for a manufacturing client, I worked closely with a team of young managers. While they were technically sound, they lacked the leadership experience needed to navigate high-pressure situations. I introduced them to structured decision-making frameworks, helping them break complex problems into manageable steps. Within months, they were not just solving problems but leading sub-projects independently. Some of them eventually rose to senior leadership positions, proving that mentorship creates a ripple effect that benefits individuals and organizations alike. Lesson 2: The best mentors don’t just develop problem-solvers—they cultivate future leaders. Learning Through Reverse Mentorship Mentorship isn’t a one-way street. I’ve often found myself learning from those I mentor, particularly during innovation-driven projects. In one instance, a young team member introduced a new data visualization tool that significantly improved our ability to analyze and present key metrics. His fresh perspective enhanced the project and reminded me that mentorship is about fostering mutual growth, where both mentor and mentee evolve together. Lesson 3: Mentorship thrives on mutual learning—it’s as much about listening as it is about guiding. The Role of Empathy in Mentorship Mentorship isn’t solely about technical guidance; it’s about understanding the challenges your mentees face. During a critical software migration, one team member struggled with personal issues, affecting his performance. Instead of pressuring him, I offered flexible deadlines and support, enabling him to focus on both his work and personal life. That experience underscored the importance of empathy in mentorship—creating a safe environment where people feel supported, not judged. Lesson 4: Empathy builds trust, and trust transforms mentorship into a lasting Partnership Mentorship is a cornerstone of professional growth. It’s the act of lifting others, shaping future leaders To be continued...

Don't cancel 1:1s downward. You may think there's nothing to talk about, or that you're too busy to meet. But don't cancel on your mentee or direct report. At the very least, offer to reschedule. Canceling without warning leads to them feeling like you don't care--even if you do. I promise you, there are things to talk about, and I made a framework so you never forget. It's called C2-G2-R2. C2: • Condition - How are you feeling? Green, yellow, red? • Challenges - What recent challenges were there? G2 • Goals - How are you tracking on your goals? • Growth - Where do you want to grow? How can I help you grow? R2 • Relationships - How are relationships with your coworkers? • Reflections - What's going well and what could be going better? Note: This works both ways too. If you're having a meeting with your manager or mentor, you can think of C2-G2-R2 as what to talk about. You could even put it in your 1:1 doc as a reminder. -- If you found this helpful, I'd be so grateful for a like 👍 or repost ♻️ !

I've been thinking about mentors recently, and how much I've benefited from the people who have mentored me over the years. If you're looking for a mentor, here are some tips on how to find one, and how to make the most of the relationship. First, start with some self-reflection. What skills or perspectives are you looking for? What's the gap between where you are and where you want to be? Be clear about what you hope to achieve through mentoring and why you think someone might be a good fit. While anyone can be a mentor, consider people who are later career or retired. Available time can be a gating factor for someone saying "yes" to a mentoring request. Although, some people who are very busy also find time to mentor others. Then, be direct and humble in your approach to potential mentors. It's ok—and very common—to reach out to several people before you find the right match. Ask if they're open to a conversation about mentorship, share why you thought of them, and remember that even a "no" can open doors. One of my best mentoring relationships actually began this way, with a referral from someone I approached. Once you've found someone open to mentoring you, create some structure. Talk about how you will work together, including frequency of conversations, and format. These relationships have a way of evolving over time, so be open to the structure changing. As a mentee, your job is to make the relationship valuable for both of you. There are a few key ways you can do that: Make the most of your time. Come prepared for your conversations with specific questions or topics, or, better yet, share them in advance so your mentor can reflect and add more value. Mentors lose interest quickly when they feel like they’re not genuinely helping. Act on (at least some of) their advice. After you implement their guidance, let them know what happened. It shows that you’re interested in growth, and that their counsel is important to you. Listen more than you talk. If you're dominating the conversation, you may be missing valuable insights. Don’t take the opportunity for granted, and make sure you to express authentic gratitude and appreciation to your mentor for their support. These skills that make you a great mentee—self-awareness, intentionality, and genuine curiosity—can also help you become a great leader. When you approach mentorship as a relationship where both people grow, rather than a transaction where one person extracts wisdom, you can create something truly meaningful. You don't just get advice; you build a meaningful, long-term connection. #Mentors #Management #HowToGrow

The Importance of Early-Stage Mentorship Building a business requires more than a plan and vision—relationships are crucial in the early stages, especially with those who believe in you and can influence your progress when you face resistance. In the early 2000s, I attended an industry conference after leaving Kwik Fit, where I worked under Sir Tom Farmer’s leadership, to start Blackcircles. Sir Tom founded Kwik Fit in 1971 and pioneered the tire and exhaust fast-fit concept in the UK, later selling it to Ford for $1 billion. At this event, surrounded by industry veterans, the reaction to my venture was skeptical. Most warned that the internet would never take off in the tire industry. Before dinner, I found myself alone at the bar, debating whether to leave—until Sir Tom spotted me. He was being honored with a lifetime achievement award that night but came over. He pulled up two chairs, leaned in, and whispered, “They’ll all assume I’ve invested after this.” We spent 40 minutes discussing tire prices—he loved reminding me how much better he was buying than I was! True to his word, the word on the street afterward was that Sir Tom had invested in Blackcircles. He hadn’t, but that gesture made all the difference. Suddenly, conversations with suppliers and partners became easier. My other great mentor has been Sir Terry Leahy, former CEO of Tesco. I wrote a letter to him, and he met with me that same week to hear my pitch. Years later, during a live TV interview on Bloomberg, he joked that I had “forced” my way into his office! Encouragement from someone of his stature was invaluable to my journey and reinforced the value of mentorship. These experiences taught me the lasting power of relationships and reputation. The belief of mentors like Sir Tom and Sir Terry wasn’t just in the business; it was in me. In a world where new ideas often meet with doubt, champions like them make all the difference. Here are a few tips I’ve learned for developing meaningful relationships with mentors and supporters: 1. Be open to learning – Real mentors want to see genuine curiosity. Ask questions and seek their insights with a willingness to listen. 2. Show respect for their time and experience – Acknowledge their journey and demonstrate that you value their perspective. The best relationships are mutual; find ways to bring value to them as well. 3. Stay humble – Mentors are drawn to grounded individuals. Let your work speak for itself, but don’t hesitate to share your ambitions. 4. Build trust through consistency – Relationships grow over time. Be consistent, follow through on your commitments, and show up. 5. Express gratitude and keep in touch – A simple thank-you goes a long way. As your journey continues, keep your mentors updated on your progress—they’ll appreciate knowing they’ve made an impact.

Finding a great mentor can be hard. Being a great mentee is easier. I realized this when I learned it’s not my mentor’s responsibility to mentor. It’s my responsibility to seek mentorship and make the most of it. Guiding the conversation with your mentor is one of the most impactful ways to elicit their wisdom and gain a new perspective on your challenges. Here are 3 simple and impactful ways to be a great mentee and make the most of your mentoring sessions: 1. Share what you’re working on If you’re working on a project and need guidance, or you’re working on a soft skill and want to know how to refine it, tell them about it and be specific. It helps your mentor get laser-focused on providing you feedback that’s actionable and meaningful. 2. Get a bit deeper Don’t stay on the surface. Many of the things we need guidance on (i.e. leading teams, having a difficult conversation, influencing others, etc.) are those things that may have invisible scripts holding us back. Those little voices in our heads feed our self-doubt. Being open and vulnerable helps your mentor better understand you, which helps tailor their advice or wisdom to your specific needs. 3. Take action and let them know how it goes Mentors give advice and provide perspectives, but sometimes they don’t know how it translates to you and your situation. If your mentor shares a piece of advice, a book to read, or a person to connect with; let them know how it goes. If it worked, share it with them. If it didn’t work, share it with them. Great mentors adjust and find other ways that could be helpful, but it helps to give them feedback on how it went. The impact of having a great mentor compounds over time. Many people look for great mentors, yet there’s less emphasis on being a great mentee. The relationship’s success is as much your responsibility as it is theirs. And it’s much easier to find a great mentor if you are a great mentee. 

Last week, my son, a college freshman, had his first meeting with his mentor. Imagine my surprise when he sought my advice ;) — I guess parents are worth something after all 😁 It's a significant milestone, and it got me thinking about the essence of effective mentoring given my own experience as a mentor and mentee. While there's an abundance of literature on this topic, including a recent piece by Harvard Business Review, many tend to skim the surface, offering broad, somewhat simplistic advice. Reflecting on this, I penned down some tailored guidance, which I believe might be valuable to others embarking on this journey. Here's what I shared: 1. Embrace the art of listening: Your first meeting is more about tuning in than speaking out. Show a genuine interest in your mentor's narrative. Inquire about their professional voyage - how it began, the decisions they navigated, and the turning points. 2. Seek wisdom, not just facts: Ask about the lessons they've learned along the way. What would they do differently if they could rewind the clock? Their hindsight can become your foresight. 3. Prepare, Prepare and then Prepare more: Before seeking advice on specific decisions like program selection, job opportunities, or electives, make sure you've done your homework. Understanding your own choices deeply enriches the conversation and the guidance you receive. 4. Explore beyond academics: Ask about the activities they engaged in outside their formal education or job that propelled their career - be it internships, part-time roles, additional courses, or club memberships. Understanding their strategies and how these choices shaped their path can offer practical steps for your own journey. In my own experience, a long term relationship with your mentor can be rewarding for both and has the potential to be truly transformative. What are some other non-obvious tips for speaking to your mentor/mentee? I’d love to hear your thoughts. #mentorship #relationships #student #learning #mentors