Networking Etiquette in Engineering

"I hate networking." I hear this all the time. And I get it. The idea of walking up to strangers at events, making small talk, and asking for favors feels forced and uncomfortable. But here's the truth: networking doesn't have to feel like networking. Here's how to build genuine connections without being awkward: Start with warm connections. Don't cold message strangers on LinkedIn. Start with: → Former colleagues → Alumni from your school → Mutual contacts who can introduce you → People you've worked with before These conversations are easier because there's already a foundation. Lead with offering value, not asking for favors. Don't start with: "Can you help me find a job?" Start with: "I saw your post about [topic] and thought you might find this article interesting." Or: "Congratulations on your new role! I'd love to hear how it's going." Give first. Ask later. Use LinkedIn to build relationships before asking for anything. Don't send a connection request and immediately ask for something. Instead: → Engage with their posts (thoughtful comments, not just "Great post!") → Share their content when it's relevant → Send a message just to catch up, no agenda Build the relationship over time. When you do reach out, make it easy for them. Don't say: "Can I pick your brain?" Say: "I'd love to hear about your experience at [Company]. Would you be open to a 20-minute coffee chat? I'm happy to work around your schedule." Be specific about what you're asking for and respect their time. Schedule "informational coffee chats" instead of calling it networking. Reframe it in your mind. You're not networking. You're: → Learning from someone's experience → Having a conversation about your industry → Building a relationship with someone interesting Take the pressure off yourself. Follow up and stay in touch; don't just reach out when you need something. After the conversation: → Send a thank you note within 24 hours → Share an article or resource they might find useful → Check in every few months (congratulate them on wins, share updates) Stay on their radar in a genuine way. The best networking doesn't feel transactional. It feels like building real relationships with people you respect. And those relationships? They're the ones that actually lead to opportunities. Save this post so you're ready to network without the awkwardness.

I loved what Ian shared in this CNA commentary. Some really pertinent and accurate observations. However, there was one recommended suggestion that I personally struggle with: 'connect with users directly and ask them out for coffee.' ☕ 👩🏫 As someone who teaches final-year grad students (& post-grad students and working adults) about professional networking — covering situational awareness, conversation skills, and follow-up etiquette — I’ve shifted my approach somewhat in the last 18 years. A decade ago, I encouraged 'coffee meetings' as a way to connect. 💡 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐈 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬. 𝐖𝐡𝐲? 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. My email inbox (both LinkedIn and work) fills weekly with kind coffee invites. If volume equaled consumption, I’d need five cups a day!!!! ❤️ 𝐓𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫: I deeply value helping others — it’s why I teach, mentor mothers, and run a social enterprise. But like many professionals juggling work, family, and commitments, scheduling 1:1 chats is often unrealistic. 📝 𝐀 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆’𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒕. 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒑 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈. When reaching out, consider these alternatives: 1️⃣ 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞: Explicitly say "I know you’re busy" or "Zero pressure to respond." 2️⃣ 𝐁𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜: Vague requests = higher mental load. State exactly what you want (e.g., "15 mins," "2-3 ideas on how to reach out to the sustainability industry"). 3️⃣ 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐎𝐮𝐭: "If this isn’t a good time, I completely understand!" 4️⃣ 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞: Offer help, resources, or genuine appreciation 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 5️⃣ 𝐅𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐮𝐦: Suggest text/voice/email instead of live chat/ coffee meeting (𝘔𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦!!!) ⏳ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭: We’re asking for someone’s time and insight—𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫. How we frame it matters. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖?

A SWE landed an interview at Capital One from a networking event. Not because he was the most outgoing person in the room. And not because he had a stacked resume. But because he came prepared. He knew what to say. Who to talk to. What questions to ask. He connected with several new people at the event. And one of them referred him to an open position 2 weeks later. Here's a simple guide so you can do the same: 1. 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝗠𝗲𝗲𝘁𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗿 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗯𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂. → It's easier to talk when you actually care about the topic. Prioritize recurring meetings in your area. But one-off meetings are fine, too. 2. 𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁. → Check for Discord groups, Slack channels, or public guest lists. Shoot them a short message on LinkedIn like: "Saw you're attending [Event Name] next week. Would love to connect!" And chat with them a bit before the event. Seeing a familiar face makes it easier to break the ice. 3. 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 "𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼?" → Most people respond with a job title and a company. BORING. Have an elevator pitch ready that sparks curiosity. "𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘦-𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨." Now they have a reason to ask: "How are you doing that?" "What tech stack are you using?" 4. 𝗕𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. → Good conversations come from interest in others. • What were you hoping to get out of the event? • Was there anyone specific you were hoping to meet? • What's the most interesting project you've worked on lately? 5. 𝗚𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. → A great conversation means nothing if you never see them again. Connect on LinkedIn or get their phone or email. Whatever they're comfortable sharing. Make it easy to stay in touch. 6. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 → The event is just an introduction. Send a follow up ASAP. Plan a coffee chat or set up a virtual meeting. If there's overlap, collaborate on something interesting. That's how real relationships are built. 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆: Networking doesn't always reward extroverted people. It rewards people who show up with a plan. Try this at your next event. Let me know how it goes. P.S. Have you ever built a connection from a networking event?

I wouldn’t call myself a networking expert. BUT I’ve landed my last 8 clients because of “networking.” Here’s what’s worked for me 👇 A disclaimer before I start: “successful” networking hinges on being as invested in other people‘s success as you’re in your own. It’s NEVER a matter of quantity (“send 20 connection requests a day!”), and always a matter of connecting with like-minded people. 1. Be genuinely nice and helpful — proactively. Someone landed a role at a company you’ve admired or a product you’ve thought is cool? Reach out and congratulate them. Go beyond LinkedIn’s recommend one-liner and add a personal note. Someone’s struggling with a task you could do in your sleep? For example, setting up Monday automations. Send them a voice note with instructions or screenshots. 2. Show up on both sides — people who you can help and people who can help you. It’s not “networking” if you’re only reaching out to people who have something to offer you. Connect with others in your industry, people who have your role in a completely different industry, and people who want to be where you are. 3. Listen before you talk. Listen actively, intently, and empathetically. Seek to understand before you comment or ask for something. Always always ask “how can I support you in your goals?” Give people an opportunity to tell you — unfiltered — what they need from you. 3 “Don’ts” which you…just don’t do pls. It’s gross. 1. Don’t bait and switch: it’s the worst. People don’t hate cold pitches as much as they hate this. With a cold pitch, people might ghost you. But bait and switch and they’ll mentally block you forever. 2. Don’t get emotional in business conversations. I once recieved a follow up where the person went on and on about how they’d stayed up at night waiting for my reply. It was an unsolicited cold pitch. I don’t even remember seeing the email, I was probably too busy. They went on to call me some rather rude names and I … blocked them. Point is, they burnt a bridge for no reason. 3. Don’t fake it till you make it. Don’t exaggerate your credentials. Even if the conversation is successful, you’ll never be able to form a real relationship. It’ll always be superficial. What do you think?

"Hey Matt, I would love to pick your brain!" Yea, and I'd love a million dollars... Most students and young professionals don't know what it's like to be on the receiving end of this conversation, so I want to help. Here are my keys to successful networking, from someone who's been on both sides of the table: 1. Give ample context. If you say you want to meet and ask questions or learn from my experience, tell me why. We love to give back, but ambiguity will have us question whether it will be a waste of time. I want to know what we're going to be talking about before we start. 2. Be prepared. Know what you want to ask, what the purpose of the conversation is, and what questions you want answered. Making it up on the fly is a sure way to have me cut the conversation short and say, "good luck". I don't care if you read directly from a list you made ahead of time, being prepared is an A+ trait. 3. Tell me about yourself. I'm not a robot. You're not a robot. Adding in a sentence or two about yourself is a step toward creating a personal connection, not just a business relationship. This makes it more rewarding and fulfilling to know who we're giving back to. 4. Offer something. Anything. Most young networkers think they have nothing to offer so they offer nothing. Wrong. You ALWAYS have something to offer, you just have to figure out what it is. (will give u some tips in the comments) 5. A personal pet peeve of mine... SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Maybe I'm old school, but lack of manners is appalling. If I'm spending my time to talk to you, all I ask for in return is a nicely worded "thank you" message. Not only is it basic manners, but you're keeping the door open for a continued relationship. 6. Provide updates! I end every chat with, "please keep me updated on what you do! I'd love to follow your journey." Rarely does anyone ever do. Part of giving back for us is making an emotional investment in that person. We do it because others have done it for us and we know how much of an impact a little bit of help can make. So if you take my advice and put it to good use, I want to know about it! Don't be scared to send out a life/career update every once in a while. 7. Don't ask stupid questions. And contrary to what professors have told you, there ARE stupid questions. If the answer to your question can be found on google, or now with AI search tools, you shouldn't be asking me. It shows that you are not willing to put in the work to achieve your goals and are instead looking for shortcuts. I hope these things help you open doors to connections that can help you along your journey. I have my mentors to thank for supporting me and dealing with my naiveness when I was younger, and one day you just might be in this position too. Good luck!

Underrated networking tip: Be classy. Some timeless moves: - Send a thank you note: A quick message after a chat is great. A handwritten card? Even better. Thoughtful. Rare. Memorable. - Acknowledge the assistants: If someone helped schedule your meeting or interview, thank them too. They often make the magic happen behind the scenes. - Be transparent with your peers: If someone asks you about a job you’re also pursuing, you know the role is awful, or the hiring manager is a nightmare, say so. Integrity builds trust. - Protect your reputation: If you wouldn’t work for a hiring manager or a company, don’t refer others just to “be nice.” Reputations are earned by being real. - Leave well: If you’re moving on from a job, be helpful and polite. Share what you’ve learned. Leave documentation. Offer to support the transition. It costs nothing and says everything about your character. - Follow up: Even if nothing comes of it. It shows you value people, not just opportunities. - Give before you ask: Share a contact, a resource, or a kind word. Make friends before you need them. - Never ghost: If someone reaches out and you can’t help, let them know. A quick message should do it. - Be an advocate: Talk about people with kindness when they’re not in the room. And if you see someone gossiping about others, don’t fuel that flame. People will remember how you made them feel. How do you want to be remembered?

A senior cloud architect sent me a connection request last week with this message: "I'm interested in roles at AWS. Do you have any openings that fit my background?" No context. No relationship.  And no research into the roles I might work on. I see versions of this 30–40 times a week. And I know the intent is good — people are trying to follow the advice they're given: "Network to land your next role." The problem? Most people are confusing outreach with networking. After a decade in technical recruiting, I've noticed a clear pattern: The people who land roles faster aren't sending more DMs. They've built visibility before they ever hit send. Here's what commonly shows up in my inbox: "I recently interviewed — can you follow up?" "Do you have 15 minutes for a coffee chat?" "I'm seeking a Solutions Architect role." People are taking action. That's not the issue. The issue is that recruiters and hiring managers get dozens of these messages daily — all from people they don't know. At that volume, it's almost impossible to know how to help. At the senior level, transactional networking rarely turns into opportunity. Sound familiar? So what does strategic networking actually look like? It's less about who you message — and more about who already recognizes your name when you do. Here are five true networking approaches I’d recommend to senior-level tech professionals: 1️⃣ Engage in tech-specific LinkedIn groups  This creates one-to-many visibility. Hiring managers and recruiters are often in the same spaces — credibility builds through contribution. 2️⃣ Comment meaningfully on posts from leaders in your space  Skip "Great post." Add perspective based on experience. Do this consistently and your name starts showing up in the right feeds. 3️⃣ Share insights from your own work  You don't need thought-leadership essays. A poll about a challenge you're navigating. A short reflection on a lesson learned. Even adding your take to someone else's post. The goal is visibility, not virality. 4️⃣ Write recommendations for former teammates  In addition to helping a teammate out, your name will appear on their profile. This is passive visibility that compounds. 5️⃣ Engage with hiring managers before messaging them  Comment on what they share. When you eventually reach out, you're not a stranger — you're familiar. I've seen this shift change the trajectory of job searches. Not because someone's resume suddenly improved — but because the right people already knew who they were before a role opened. 👉 Which of these five are you already doing or planning to start? Drop the number below. And if someone in your network is in search mode, feel free to share this with them.

Following on LinkedIn and sending a thoughtful, appropriate message - Not creepy. Sending an appropriate email to publicly available emails - Not creepy. Sending a request to private social media pages outside of LinkedIn, after sending messages to work and personal emails - Creepy. I’m a huge fan of networking, and trying to build connections. A few years ago, I had lots of virtual coffees with amazing folks in social impact from across the world - because I respectfully slid in their LinkedIn DMs. Emphasis on RESPECTFULLY! My rules of thumb: 1. If it’s not publicly available, you should probably ignore it. This includes social media pages, email addresses etc. 2. When in doubt, always think about who can introduce you to said person. People value the perspective of those they already know. 3. Understand that not getting a response is NOT personal. I’ve been ignored, ghosted, and stood up after setting meetings, but I’ve learnt not to take it personally. Remember, networking should always feel professional and respectful for both parties. #TitilopeAdedokun #Networking #SocialMediaEtiquette

I get a lot of requests for coffee chats and referrals, and I've noticed some recurring mistakes in how people reach out. I want to share the strategies that have helped me achieve a 70% response rate. LinkedIn is incredible for connecting, and with thoughtful outreach and content, you can increase your outreach response results. The Don'ts (Vague): 🚫 "Hi there, I'm graduating in May and open to positions at [Insert Company Name]." Why this doesn't work? - It's too generic. No one person knows every open role. - It shows a lack of research. - You're shifting the work onto the recipient. The Do's (Specific & Intentional): ✅ "Hi [Insert Name], I noticed you're a Program Manager at [Insert Company]. I'm interested in the Program Manager role [Insert Job Link] and would love to connect for a 20-minute coffee chat to discuss: - Your interview process - Your day-to-day schedule - Your top challenges and how you overcome them - Any tips you can share Key Strategies for Success: - Targeted Job Titles: If you want an engineering role, connect with engineers. For data analysis, reach out to data analysts. Keep it relevant! - Experience Alignment: Aim for individuals with career tenures closer to your desired level. New grad? Connect with those 2-3 years into their journey. - The Follow-Up is Crucial: After a successful coffee chat, send a personalized THANK YOU. Include 1-2 specific points you discussed to show you were engaged. Strategic and intentional outreach is crucial, especially with so many people looking for jobs right now. It's all about thoughtful research and making it easy for the person you're contacting. What are your favorite outreach tips or questions? Let's connect and share! 👇 #LinkedInNetworking #CareerAdvice #JobSearchTips #StrategicOutreach #ProfessionalDevelopment #NetworkingTips #CoffeeChat #JobHunting #CareerStrategy #NoCeilings #CoffeeChatStrategy #NetworkWithIntention

“Networking is awkward.” You know what’s more awkward? Graduating in May 2025 and applying to 127 jobs with… zero callbacks. Let’s fix that with networking ideas no one’s talking about. and I mean actionable.. 1. “Reverse Research” Your Way Into a Conversation Instead of asking people what they do, show them what you know about what they’ve done. How to do it: Find someone on LinkedIn in your target company/role Read their posts, podcasts, or panels they’ve been on Then send this message: “Hi [Name], I came across your [talk/article/post] on [topic]—your point about [insight] made me think differently. I’m researching [industry], and would love to hear your take on [specific follow-up]. Would it be okay to connect?” That’s conversation built on respect. 2. Book Club for Industry Geeks Start a virtual book or podcast club for your industry. Invite professionals to speak at the end of each cycle. How to do it: Pick 3 peers + 1 book or podcast Create a simple calendar (4 weeks = 4 touchpoints) End with a “Wrap-Up” Zoom chat—invite a guest Post your takeaways on LinkedIn and tag them Because learning together? Is the strongest way to network. 3. Write A “Public Thank You” Post on LinkedIn You probably learned something cool from someone recently. Now imagine you posted it publicly, gave them a shoutout, and showed how you applied it. How to do it: Tag the person Share what they taught you Share what you did next Ask your network, “What’s something YOU learned from someone this month?” You just gave free visibility, created a loop, and 10 people will want to talk to you after. 4. Turn Informational Chats into Co-Creation Networking chats often stop at “thanks for the time.” What if it didn’t? What to do: After the call, send a note: “Hey [Name], based on our chat about [topic], I drafted a small idea to build on your advice. Would love your thoughts!” Create a graphic, short write-up, or project plan (just 1 page!) Now you’re not just a student. You’re someone they collaborated with. That’s relationship-building, not just networking. 5. The 5-5-5 Strategy Most people get stuck on who to reach out to. Here’s a weekly formula: 5 People You Admire (Founders, creatives) 5 People From Your School Network (Alums, professors, guest speakers) 5 Peers Who Are Also Job Hunting (Build a support circle, swap leads) Message all 15. Repeat weekly. That’s 156 conversations in 3 months. You don’t “find” jobs—you build the path to them. Reminder: Networking isn’t about who has the fanciest title. It’s about who remembers you when an opportunity comes up. Be the person who listened, learned, shared, and followed up. If you’re reading this and job searching— try one new method this week. Not next month. Not when it feels “less scary.” Now. You’re not late. #May2025Grads #NetworkingTips #CreativeCareerMoves #JobSearchStrategy #InternationalStudents #GradJobHunt #BeyondTheResume #HumanConnection #Topmate