Impact of Fixer Roles on Women Leaders

I am (not) your mother, Luke.   Or your sister. Or girlfriend. Or your wife.   I am your boss.   And yet, as a female leader, I often found that my team members unconsciously placed me in a caregiving role. Which triggered in me a need to nurture them, which undermined my authority, and was no good for any of us.   I’m not alone in this. Many of the women leaders I work with in my role as mentor say the same thing. That when they have to make tough decisions, they get reactions that their male equivalents simply don’t have to face.   👩👦 The ‘mother’ role. You’re expected to be nurturing, to provide emotional support and protection. And any criticism may be taken as harsh, like being told off by mummy. 👩 The ‘sister’ role: You’re expected to be friendly, collaborative and fun. Assertiveness can be misread as aggression. 👰♀️ The ‘girlfriend / wife’ role: You’re expected to take on emotional labour, be a supportive ear, or even hand conflict in a soothing manner. These roles are a trap for women in business, where they feel that they have to balance warmth with authority, competence with compassion. And it’s exhausting!   The struggle is real ❌ Women may struggle to progress if they don’t conform to caregiving expectations ❌ Feedback from women leaders is more likely to be taken personally, rather than as professional guidance ❌ Women leaders may try to do it all, fulfilling both emotional and professional expectations – leading to burnout   To avoid this trap, women often try to take on what they perceive as a male archetype – becoming cold and harsh. But that’s not the best way forward. The answer is authenticity. How to be just you ✅ Educate your team and yourself about these biases – knowing about them is the first step to avoiding them ✅ Set boundaries – be clear about professional expectations versus personal involvement ✅ Communicate honestly – don’t feel you have to soften your message, be direct and clear ✅ Support other women – advocate for structures that allow women to lead without having to take on caregiving expectations. It’s time women stopped trying to be everything to everyone and focused on being just the very best version of themselves.   What about you? Are you a female leader who finds herself being put in these boxes? Are you a man working with women who expects them to be the caregivers? Let me know! ⬇️

I watched a top female executive apologize three separate times in one meeting last week. Not for mistakes—for having opinions. After 20+ years working with women leaders, I've uncovered an uncomfortable truth: 80% of women's leadership communities focus on "fixing women" rather than fixing broken systems. • "Speak up more in meetings" • "Be more assertive (but not too assertive)" • "Here's how to navigate office politics" The subtext? The system is fine. You're the problem. I fell into this trap early in my career. I attended workshops on executive presence, voice modulation, and "strategic visibility." I practiced power poses in bathroom stalls before big meetings. I thought I needed fixing. What I actually needed was to recognize that the game itself is rigged, not my ability to play it. This revelation changed everything about how I approach leadership development for women. When I created herSpace at oxygen4Leadership, I built it on this core principle: Women don't need fixing. Systems do. Our community: • Identifies systemic barriers embedded in "normal" workplace practices • Provides collective strategies for challenging these structures • Creates safe spaces for authentic leadership without constant self-monitoring • Celebrates your strengths rather than highlighting perceived "deficiencies" The executive I mentioned? In our session today, we didn't work on her "apologetic communication style." Instead, we mapped the meeting dynamics that created an environment where she felt compelled to apologize for contributing. The solution wasn't in her behavior. It was in addressing the system. Have you noticed yourself trying to "fix" your leadership style to fit a broken system? What would change if you redirected that energy toward changing the system itself? If you're tired of communities that subtly blame women for not advancing, join us at herSpace. We're building something different - Link in the comments. #WomenInLeadership #SystemicChange #AuthenticLeadership #HerspaceLeadership #GenderEquality

📈 Annita’s promotion looked perfect on paper. New title. Bigger team. Expanded scope. More projects But six months in, she realized the reality: She had more work, not more power. 📅 Her calendar doubled, her inbox tripled,   But her influence stayed exactly the same. 🧯 She was in every crisis meeting, But absent from every pre-meeting where real decisions were made. 🛠️ Decisions were still made two levels above her. She was invited to fix problems, not set direction. She was celebrated as reliable, not trusted as visionary. ⁉️ This is the trap: 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿. 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆. Companies say “she’s ready to do more,” but not “she’s ready to lead more.” It’s why so many female leaders are exhausted yet invisible: 👉 Carrying the load but not holding the reins. Now, how can you break out of the workload trap: 1. 𝗔𝘂𝗱𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗹𝗲    Before accepting new responsibilities, ask: What decisions does this role now let me make? If the answer is none, negotiate, or say no. A title without authority is an anchor.     2. 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲    Shift from measuring effort (“I worked 14 hours”) to impact (“I changed X outcome”). Attach your wins to the business bottom line, not your stamina. 3. 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗸𝘀    Don’t ask for more pay alone, ask for a seat in the rooms where direction is set. Visibility is the currency that multiplies everything else.     4. 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸    Be deliberate about what you take on. Quiet yeses to low-visibility firefighting keep you stuck in operations; visible bets on strategy move you up.     This is why Uma, Grace, and I built: ⭐ 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 – 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱⭐ https://lnkd.in/gAZnvAYq To decode how power really moves, and teach the strategies that shift you from fallback to frontrunner. Because the hardest worker isn’t always promoted. 👊The most strategically positioned is.

Your calendar is full. Your authority isn't. That gap is where careers go to stall. If you're a Director or senior leader drowning in work but somehow still waiting for the next level, there's a structural reason no one talks about. Your informal responsibilities are growing faster than your formal authority. You've become the person everyone turns to. The fixer. The one who "just handles it." And your organization rewards that by giving you more to handle. But not more power to shape outcomes. Not more voice in decisions. Not more of the authority that actually gets you promoted. After nine years coaching women leaders through this exact pattern, here's what I've learned about why this happens: 𝟭. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗽 The better you are at solving problems, the more problems land on your desk. Your manager sees you as reliable.  So you become the safety net for everything that falls through the cracks. 𝟮. 𝗩𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 Doing the work and being seen as strategic are two different currencies. You can be essential to operations while remaining invisible in succession conversations. 𝟯. 𝗦𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 Every new responsibility feels like a step forward. But without corresponding authority, you're just running faster while standing still. 𝟰. 𝗢𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 They notice you can absorb more.  They rarely notice you should be leading more. Your bandwidth becomes their budget solution. 𝟱. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝗯 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝗯 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗴𝗼 You're operating two levels above your title and getting paid for one. That's not a compliment.  That's a structural imbalance. The brutal truth? Your organization knows you're operating above your title. They're just not incentivised to fix it. Here's what changes everything: Stop measuring your value by how much you carry. Start measuring it by how much you shape. ➙ One small shift this week: audit your calendar. Separate the tasks that require your judgment from the tasks that just require your availability. What percentage of your workload is actually building your career versus just proving you can survive? The complete framework for converting execution into strategic influence is in my Leadership Playbook: [https://sistersmart.com/] 🔖 Save this if you're ready to work smarter, not just harder. 👉 Follow me, Jill Avey, for more on building the career you've earned.

How Women Get Quietly Boxed Out of Power (Even as Founders) Women, you need to ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELVES. Because if you don’t, others will put you in boxes that work for their advantage, not yours. That’s not cynicism. That’s lived experience. MY STORY Early in my career, I was repeatedly positioned as the “operator.” The steady one. The fixer. The person who could “just make it happen.” And to be fair, I was excellent at it. But here’s what I didn’t see at the time That narrative quietly capped my visibility, my scope, and my power. While others were being framed as the vision, the strategy, the face I was being framed as the execution. Until I started saying, out loud, what I wanted. Until I interrupted the story that was convenient for everyone else. Nothing changed until I changed the narrative myself. A CLIENT STORY (TOO FAMILIAR) I work with a founding team right now A woman and a man. Equal founders. Equal risk. Equal brilliance. Without a real conversation, the roles “naturally” landed He became CEO. She became COO. Because she was “so good with people.” Because she “kept things moving.” Because she was “detail oriented.” All true. And still incomplete. What got missed She was also the strategic backbone. The systems thinker. The one actually translating vision into outcomes. We’re actively unwinding that dynamic now Not through titles alone But through authority, visibility, and decision rights. Because titles don’t create power. Clarity does. THE HARD TRUTH If you don’t define your value, others will define it for you Based on what makes their world easier. ADVOCACY IS NOT AGGRESSION IT’S LEADERSHIP It looks like • Naming the role you want before it’s assigned • Claiming strategic ground, not just operational excellence • Correcting the narrative in real time • Letting discomfort exist while you expand YOUR NEXT CONTROLLABLE STEP Ask yourself Where am I being praised into a box that limits me Then practice one sentence that repositions you Not defensively Clearly I will always advocate for women doing this work with confidence and precision. And I’ll help you find the language to do it without apology. 👉 Follow Jennifer L. DiMotta for operator-level leadership truth about power, roles, and real influence. #womeninleadership #founders #femaleexecutives #powerandinfluence #executivepresence #advocacy #leadershipdevelopment #careergrowth #operatorlife

Many women don’t land leadership roles when organizations are thriving — they’re called in when the company is already on the edge of crisis. Research calls this the glass cliff. But the story doesn’t end at the appointment. Once inside, women face an even tougher challenge: being seen as temporary “fixers,” judged more on polish than performance, and left without the holistic support they need to thrive. In this article, I share the research, my own lived experience, and a coaching model that goes beyond surface-level polish to help women leaders build presence, navigate systems, and lead authentically — not just in the fire, but beyond it. #GlassCliff #WomenInLeadership #ExecutivePresence #LeadershipDevelopment #ExecutiveCoaching #AuthenticLeadership #WomenOfColorLeaders #BoardroomLeadership #InclusiveLeadership

Being the one who “holds it all together” at work is often seen as a strength. And in many ways, it is, but it also comes at a cost. In the organisations I work with, I see high-performing women quietly carrying far more than their role requires. They step in. They fix. They anticipate. They absorb pressure. And because they can, they do. Over time, this becomes unsustainable. Not because they are not capable, but because the way they are working leaves no space to lead at the next level. Less time to think. Less space to step back. Less capacity to focus on what actually matters. At a certain point, leadership is not about doing more but about doing differently. In today's article, I share a few practical shifts that can help. #womenrising #womensleadership #leadershipdevelopment