Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

Want your team to perform better this year? Express genuine positivity, early. Researchers published in Organization Science studied 9,968 consultants across 20 months. The result? Consultants who received positive feedback early in the year performed significantly better—regardless of past performance. When leaders express positive emotions early on… Employees feel seen. They feel respected. And they’re driven to maintain that respect all year long. It creates a motivational anchor. Athletes show the same pattern. Another study tracked 245 NCAA athletes and 86 coaches. Those who received early-season praise from their coaches performed better even after controlling for playtime or past stats. But here’s the twist: Teams performed BEST when leaders paired early praise… with a little constructive feedback at the midpoint. Not harsh. Just honest. It’s the classic tough-love combo, with the love first. Why it works: Midpoint critique signals, “You can do better and I believe you will.” It gives people a chance to re-earn the respect they value. And that challenge? It boosts motivation and focus. So, what should you do? Start projects with specific, heartfelt praise. Avoid constant negativity, it backfires. Use midpoints to give clear, constructive feedback. Sequence matters more than style. The bottom line: You don’t have to choose between kindness and candor. Lead with warmth. Course-correct with honesty. The right emotional timing doesn’t just feel better it delivers results.

AI now writes, codes, and analyzes faster than any human — but it still can’t connect. Connection is now the new currency of leadership. McKinsey & Company recently found that 87% of executives believe AI will reshape their workforce within three years — yet only 22% feel prepared to lead through it. ➤ The gap isn't technical. It's human. Here's what I'm seeing coaching senior leaders right now: → They're drowning in AI efficiency but starving for human resonance. → They can generate a strategy deck in minutes, but they can't read the room. → They have the data, but they've lost the ability to sense what's unsaid. The leaders thriving in this shift aren't the ones resisting AI. They're the ones who've realized something critical: ✅ Automation raises the floor. Connection raises the ceiling. ✅ AI handles the transactional. You handle the transformational. ⸻ Here’s your 3-step playbook to stay indispensable in an automated world: 1️⃣ Balance AI with empathy. Use AI to process data — not to replace dialogue. 👉 After every AI-assisted task, ask: “What part of this still needs a human touch?” 2️⃣ Lead with curiosity, not certainty. In meetings, ask one open-ended question before giving a directive. 👉 Curiosity signals humility — the core of modern leadership. 3️⃣ Build emotional literacy as a business skill. Host 15-minute “EQ labs” on empathy or self-awareness. 👉 Reward leaders who model it, not just talk about it. In a world run by algorithms, your emotional intelligence IS your algorithm. Coaching can help; let's chat. Enjoy this? ♻️ Repost it to your network and follow Joshua Miller for more tips on coaching, leadership, career + mindset. #ai #executivecoaching #growthmindset #leadership

Most leaders aren’t destroyed by others. They’re destroyed by themselves. Here is why? They think success is about being strategically brilliant... or experts in their field... And then they fail due to missing self-awareness. Years ago, I worked with a strong executive. Sharp mind. Strong resume. Great results on paper. But his team didn’t trust him. They gave minimal input. They avoided him in meetings. He thought it was all about them - laziness, lack of ambition, wrong culture fit. He couldn’t see that the problem was him, with his dismissive, reactive, and self-centered behaviour. That's when I saw how easily success blinds us. How quickly ego blocks awareness. And how fast people stop telling you the truth when you rise. My learning until today: Self-awareness is the foundation of leadership. Without it, every other skill is wasted. Here are 10 principles to build it daily: 1️⃣ Ask for brutal feedback Don’t fish for praise, invite truth. Growth begins where comfort ends. 2️⃣ Watch your impact, not just intent Good intentions can still hurt. Measure how others experience you. 3️⃣ Listen beyond words What’s unsaid is often more important. Pay attention to body language and silence. 4️⃣ Spot your triggers Stress exposes blind spots. Know what sets you off before it controls you. 5️⃣ Separate ego from role You are not your title. People follow authenticity, not hierarchy. 6️⃣ Reflect daily 5 minutes of honest reflection beats 5 hours of excuses. Ask: “How did I show up today?” 7️⃣ Own mistakes fast Excuses destroy trust. Admission builds it. 8️⃣ Notice recurring feedback If three people tell you the same thing - it’s not coincidence. It’s your blind spot showing. 9️⃣ Test your assumptions “I think they’re fine” is not a fact. Validate before acting. 🔟 Grow with humility Leaders who think they’ve arrived stop learning. Stay curious, stay open. When leaders master self-awareness, people stop working for you and start working with you. Because self-awareness builds trust - and trust builds everything else. Remember: You can’t lead others if you can’t lead yourself. The mirror is the hardest tool in leadership. Self-awareness isn’t soft. It’s the sharpest edge you can have. ‐---‐------------------------------- ♻️ Repost this to support your network. 🔔 Follow me (Simon Koerner) for more valuable content on leadership, culture and growth.

🔻 “Just Say No.” Three words that sound like power, but land like punishment... Because for women, “No” isn’t just a decision, It’s a reputation risk, a relationship gamble, and an emotional weight we carry long after the meeting ends. Women don’t lack the ability to say no. Women lack the permission to say it without consequences. 🧠 When women say no, we don’t just avoid a task. We spend the next 72 hours running mental spreadsheets: “Will I be seen as unhelpful?” “Did I just close a door?” “Will this show up in my performance review as ‘not a team player’?” Meanwhile, the system quietly does its thing: 👉 Women are asked 44% more often than men to take on the tasks no one wants. 👉 The ones that don’t lead to promotions, raises, or recognition. 👉 The “office housework” that keeps things running, and keeps us invisible. 🤔 Why does this keep happening? Because the system assumes women will say yes. Because we’re trained to value harmony over ambition. Because it’s easier for leaders to lean on “the reliable one” than to fix a broken distribution of labor. 🧾 So how do we actually break the cycle, not just in theory, but in Tuesday-at-4pm reality? 1. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿.    If it matters to the business, put it on the record. Add it to goals, KPIs, project charters. Recognition should be measurable, not just “thank you so much, you’re a star.”     2. 𝗘𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗼𝗹𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗽.    Stop asking for “a volunteer” and watching the same women raise their hands. Rotate. Track. Make fairness the default, not convenience.     3. 𝗡𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗮𝗹.    “No, not this time,” should not require an apology, a nervous smile, or a 7-line justification. A healthy team can absorb boundaries. A dysfunctional one punishes them.     4. 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱, 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿.    If your team’s stability rests on the unpaid emotional and operational labor of a few women, that’s not high performance. That’s quiet exploitation dressed up as “she’s amazing, she just handles everything.”     And here’s the career truth no one puts in the leadership decks for women: 💥The more your value is tied to invisible labor, the harder it is to move. If you want a real career move in 2026, up, sideways, or outside of the company, you need your time back for high-impact work, not an endless stream of “can you just…?” 📆 On 26 November at 7:30pm Singapore time, Uma and I are hosting “𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 – 𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗘𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟲.” We’ll get practical about three things: What to say no to, what to double down on, and how to make sure the right people actually see the difference. 👇 Join us here: https://lnkd.in/gp2qU5yD 👊 Because your next promotion should not be built on unpaid, uncredited “yes.”

I used to think leadership was all about expertise and results. But it’s not the whole story. Over the years, I’ve realised that the most impactful leaders focus on emotions – their own and everyone else’s. In my KPMG days, I learned this the hard way, and had to turn things around. And what I found is that: 👉 When I genuinely listened, people trusted me. 👉 When I stayed calm under pressure, so did my team. 👉 And when I showed I cared about my team, they worked harder. Many leaders think emotional intelligence is soft. But that’s because they find it quite hard. It can feel intangible, but it’s a set of skills anyone can develop. 1/ Self-awareness helps you understand your emotions and make better decisions. 2/ Self-regulation ensures you respond thoughtfully, not react impulsively. 3/ Empathy creates stronger connections and loyalty. 4/ Motivation keeps you and your teams driven by purpose, not just deadlines. 5/ And social skills tie it all together, turning relationships into results. This isn’t just theory – it’s real, tangible, and proven to work. If you’re not leaning into emotional intelligence, you’re leaving impact – and results – on the table. The document I’ve shared here distils these ideas into actionable tips inspired by Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence. 👉 Which of these five areas do you think is most overlooked in leadership today? Let me know in the comments – I’d love to hear your take. __ ♻️ Like this? Share it with your network. The ripple effect starts with you. 🔔 And follow me (Mostyn Wilson) for more on career success.

At Radical Candor, I often hear the question, "How do I know if my feedback is landing?" The answer is simple but not always easy: Radical Candor is measured not at your mouth, but at the listener’s ear. It’s not about what you said, it’s about how the other person heard it and whether it led to meaningful dialogue and growth. Before you start giving feedback, remember the Radical Candor order of operations: get feedback before you give it. The best way to understand how another person thinks is to ask them directly and reward their candor. Next, give praise that is specific and sincere. This helps remind you what you appreciate about your colleagues, so when you do offer criticism, you can do it in the spirit of being helpful to someone you care about. When giving feedback, start in a neutral place. Don't begin at the outer edge of Challenge Directly, as this might come across as Obnoxious Aggression. Just make sure you're above the line on Care Personally and clear about what you're saying. Pay attention to how the other person responds - are they receptive, defensive, sad, or angry? Their reaction will guide your next steps. If someone becomes sad or angry, this is your cue to move up on the Care Personally dimension. Don't back off your challenge - that leads to Ruinous Empathy. Instead, acknowledge the emotion you're noticing: 'It seems like I've upset you.' Remember that emotions are natural and inevitable at work. Sometimes just giving voice to them helps both people cope better. If someone isn't hearing your feedback or brushing it off, you'll need to move further out on Challenge Directly. This can feel uncomfortable, but remember - clear is kind. You might say, 'I want to make sure I'm being as clear as possible' or 'I don't feel like I'm being clear.' Use 'I' statements and come prepared with specific examples. Most importantly, don't get discouraged if feedback conversations sometimes go sideways. We tend to remember the one time feedback went wrong and forget the nine times it helped someone improve and strengthened our relationship. Focus on optimizing for those nine successes rather than avoiding the one potential difficult conversation. Creating a culture of feedback takes time and practice. Each conversation is an opportunity to get better at both giving and receiving feedback. When you get it right, feedback becomes a powerful tool for building stronger relationships and achieving better results together. What’s one small adjustment you’ve made to give or receive better feedback? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲: 𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 As a sport psychologist, I often talk to athletes about coping with negative emotions following an error (e.g., dropped ball, misplaced pass, or a missed penalty), and how their reaction to mistakes is very important. It is important that athletes (and people) don't dwell on mistakes when they are still in the performance situation - reflection can occur later - and manage their emotions quickly to continue performing so that one mistake does not impact the remainder of the performance. This allows them to prepare for the next play or involvement. This video highlights why this is so important - Ronaldo fails to score from a free kick, outside the box, and within a matter of seconds, he has another opportunity to score. If athletes dwell too on a mistake or a setback and don't cope effectively with negative emotions, they may not be ready for their next opportunity. I have researched coping and coping effectiveness among elite athletes for over twenty years, but this is the first time I have considered the speed at which a person can alleviate negative emotions to be critical. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻-𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴? Coping strategies used to regulate emotional distress during a stressful episode are considered emotion-focused coping strategies (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984). 4️⃣ 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗗𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗲𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 1️⃣ Recognise how you feel after a stressful incident (i.e., lost point, poor shot, or wrong call from an official). 2️⃣ Accept this feeling. 3️⃣ Deploy an appropriate emotion-focused coping strategy. This will depend on what has happened and the time available to cope, but it could include any of the following:  🌬️ Deep Breathing 🖼️ Re-evaluate or reframe the situation 🙂 Forgive yourself for a mistake 💬 Engage in self-talk 👥 Seek social support 4️⃣ Generate a challenge state to create a positive emotion. Research has shown that challenge states can cause positive emotions (Thompson et al., 2020). Do this by: Focus on what you want to happen during the next point or next play and how you will achieve this. Reference. Mark Thompson PhD, John Toner, John Perry, Rachel Burke, PhD, & Adam Nicholls. (2020). Stress appraisals influence athletic performance and psychophysiological response during 16.1 km cycling time trials. Psychology of Sport & Exercise, (2020), 101682.

Honesty and directness are two of the most valuable traits in any workplace, yet I feel we are losing them...or losing the skill behind them. While many people are avoiding directness for fear of causing discomfort, others dive into “telling it like it is” without the tact and empathy that make honest feedback constructive. Somewhere along the line, these important qualities got tangled up with conflict or insensitivity, making many people shy away from direct feedback or honest opinions. It's important to recognize that: 💡 People often seek reassurance or pity, but what they often need most is honesty and directness. ⚠️ And if we don't recognize this and we lose honesty and directness, we lose the foundation for trust and growth. ⚡ Empathy and kindness are crucial at work, but they shouldn’t come at the expense of clarity and truth. We need to show people we value them by delivering the truth with empathy and respect. When we do this, we also impact efficiency. Instead of tiptoeing around issues, we can address them, find solutions, and move forward. Problems that might have lingered for months can be addressed in a single, honest conversation. There is no need to choose between being direct and being empathetic! It’s about combining the two thoughtfully. ✔️ Take a moment to notice your own emotion and consider how your words and tone will be received ✔️ Be conscious of tact, timing and empathy ✔️ Be specific and constructive..."I've noticed (specific issue) and I'd like to chat about what we can do about it" ✔️ Focus on the issue not the person ✔️ Encourage people to give YOU constructive feedback...and highlight that it goes both ways ✔️ Stick to facts, not opinions. And be clear on the impact before seeking solutions. Change starts with LEADERS! Research from Edelman’s Trust Barometer shows that transparency and honesty are top drivers of trust in leadership, with 84% of respondents saying that open and honest communication from leaders builds trust. We are all leaders in some respect so we can all ask ourselves...am I being direct and honest enough with the people around me? The people I care about? ❓ What are your thoughts on the topic ❓ How can leaders strike the right balance between honesty and empathy to build a culture of trust ❓ What’s one approach that’s worked well for you ❓ Leave your comments below 🙏 #trust #respect #openness #honesty #leadership #teamwork

Conversations on Leading People: Invisible Work, Visible Impact About a year ago, I made a managerial misstep during the early stages of our return to the office (RTO). I was on a mission to rekindle my team’s sense of connection and remind us why we enjoyed working together. Plus, I was thrilled at the thought of reuniting with my team in person! However, a few days before a scheduled team gathering, and with my assistant unavailable, I suddenly remembered that I needed to coordinate the food and activities. Feeling the time pressure, I approached someone conveniently seated in my office, saying, "Hey, I totally forgot about it. Could you step in and organize this event?" With a subtle smile and a twinkle in her eye, she responded, "Daisy, you're always reminding us to balance the workload among the team. I'm swamped right now, and I'm pretty sure someone else with a lighter workload could take care of it." She was right! I sighed, thanked her, and mentally kicked myself for automatically turning to her just because she happened to be in front of me. To ensure fairness, trust, and credibility in the workplace, our actions must align with our stated values and principles. This memory came rushing back to me when I read S. Mitra Kalita's piece on TIME and Charter, "How to End the Unfairness of Invisible Work," where she delves into the harmful impact of unpaid, unacknowledged, and unregulated work, and how it disproportionately affects women and people of color. Here are some key takeaways: - Make it visible: Even though these tasks might not appear in a typical job description, responsibilities like providing emotional support, handling conflict, offering mentorship, and nurturing relationships are crucial elements of a healthy workplace and should be recognized. - Seek understanding: Begin with an emotional labor audit and follow it up by equitably redistributing the workload. - Reward the often-overlooked champions and networks shaping culture: Conduct pay equity gap audits, assess diversity across all levels, embrace salary transparency, and fairly compensate those who actively participate in committees and ERGs for their contributions. - Acknowledge the harm: Don't underestimate the impact of loneliness and job dissatisfaction. Imagine a workplace where we prevent burnout by unveiling the invisible labor that shapes culture and providing the autonomy to effectively manage the pressures of people-pleasing, workaholism, and relentless time constraints. We say "yes" when it aligns with our capacity, energy, and goals. Our "yeses" and contributions are recognized and rewarded. Moreover, we have the confidence and grace to respond as my team member did: "Thanks for thinking of me, but I'm currently deeply engaged in a critical project. Perhaps someone with a lighter workload could take this on?", without worrying about facing negative consequences. https://lnkd.in/eUqd6jiv

High-performing teams don’t just happen. They’re built on a foundation of empathy. Winning cultures lead with empathy and accountability. Leaders who create a culture of empathy lift others up, strengthen trust, and unlock the full potential of their people. Here’s how to do it in practice: ⭐Model empathy first: share your own challenges and perspectives openly, showing that it’s safe to be human at work. ⭐Listen beyond words: pay attention to tone, body language, and what’s not being said. ⭐Invite perspectives and ask: “What’s your take?” before making key decisions, especially when change is on the table. ⭐Respond, don’t react. Pause before speaking in tense moments to ensure your words build, not break. ⭐Recognize effort: notice the work behind the work. Appreciation fuels motivation and morale. ⭐Flex your style: adapt communication and leadership to different working styles and needs. ⭐Create space for well-being: encourage breaks, check-ins, and sustainable workloads so people can perform at their best. When empathy is embedded into the culture, performance isn’t sacrificed. Instead, it’s amplified. Teams move faster, collaborate better, and stay committed longer. Reflect on: one way you can lead with empathy today?