Demonstrating Vulnerability in Job Interviews

In which of these 2 scenarios, will a sales rep sell more blenders? a) She nails the demo, flawlessly blending a smoothie in front of potential customers b) Same exact pitch, but when she pours the smoothie, she spills it all over the table Dr. Richard Wiseman conducted this exact study. More people bought the blender when she made an absolute mess. This phenomenon is called the "other shoe effect." The underlying principle: We instinctively know people aren’t perfect. So when someone appears too polished in high-stakes moments—job interviews, pitches, first dates—part of our brain asks: “What are they hiding? When does the other shoe drop?” The longer someone appears flawless, the more suspicious we get. This creates a dangerous cycle: • You try to appear perfect in the first impression • The other person's brain gets increasingly distracted wondering about your hidden flaws • When your imperfection finally shows (and it will), it hits much harder than if you'd acknowledged it upfront I learned this the hard way. When I first wrote Captivate, I tried to sound like an academic. My editor called it out: “This doesn’t sound like you.” So I rewrote the intro to be me, very me in a vulnerable way: “Hi, I’m Vanessa. I’m a recovering awkward person.” That vulnerability built instant trust. By dropping my shoe early, I built trust immediately and let readers know they were in good company. This is also how I introduce myself in conversations, and I have noticed everyone laughs and relaxes when I say it. There are a couple situations where you can actively use this effect: • Job interviews: After sharing your strengths, say "One area I’m still growing in is public speaking—which is why this role excites me." • Investor pitches: After a strong open, confess: "One challenge we’re still working through is [X], and here’s how we’re tackling it." • Team meetings: Proactively raise project risks, then offer a solution. Don’t let others discover it first. Rules to remember: • Choose authentic vulnerabilities, not fake ones • Drop your shoe AFTER establishing competence, not before • Pair vulnerability with accountability - show how you're addressing it Remember: The goal isn't to appear perfect. It's to appear trustworthy. And trustworthy people acknowledge their imperfections before others have to discover them.

The BEST interview answer I ever gave? Admitting I didn’t know something. That's right. In a world of perfectly polished responses and rehearsed elevator pitches, authentic vulnerability won the day. Here's what happened: In the early stages of my career, I was asked about a complex recruitment framework. Instead of stumbling through a fake response, I said: "I haven't worked with that specific framework, but here's how I approach this..." The interviewer's reaction? A genuine smile and nod. Why? Because REAL beats PERFECT every time. Companies aren’t hiring the person with the most polished script. They're hiring YOU. Pretending to know everything isn’t just exhausting—it’s unnecessary. So, the next time you’re in an interview, remember this: It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” Just follow it up with, “But here’s how I’d figure it out.” Knowledge can be learned. Skills can be developed. But authenticity? That's your superpower.

She bombed the first 15 minutes of her Director interview. Stumbled over words. Blanked on industry questions. Nearly cried. The CMO suddenly stopped and said: "Let's take a break. You know what? Let's try something different." When they returned, he closed his folder of questions and said: "Forget the script. Tell me about the messiest marketing problem you've ever solved." She spoke candidly for 8 minutes—no polish, just raw problem-solving. Two days later, they offered her the role over candidates with "flawless" interviews. His feedback stunned her: "Everyone else gave perfect answers to our questions. You showed us how you actually think when things go wrong. That's what directors do daily." The uncomfortable truth about director-level interviews: • Perfect answers are a red flag • Rehearsed excellence masks how you actually work • Companies hire directors for crisis management, not perfect presentations • Your recovery from failure reveals more than your polished success stories • Most candidates are preparing for the wrong test How directors should actually prepare for interviews: • Stop memorizing perfect answers • Practice articulating messy problem-solving • Focus on demonstrating adaptability in chaos • Share stories of recovery, not just victory Hiring managers aren't looking for perfection. They're searching for authentic leaders who navigate complexity with transparency and resilience. When was the last time showing your real self—flaws and all—led to unexpected success? ♻️ Repost if this challenges how you've been approaching interviews. #leadership #jobinterviews #careeradvancement

I once hired someone who cried in an interview. And I almost didn’t. I was building a new team in a high-pressure role, and I needed a right hand—someone who could keep the trains running, connect the dots across my creative team, and handle all the details I’m, well… not great at. Enter the candidate: Sharp. Experienced. A long tenure in two key roles. But during the interview—with two of my trusted colleagues, a VP and a member of the C-suite—she was asked a question that caught her off guard: “When was the last time you were honored?” And she cried. When they told me afterward, I’m a little ashamed to admit—my first reaction wasn’t compassion. It was judgment. I wondered if she was trying to manipulate the conversation. If she’d be “too emotional” for the demands of the role. If I was being too soft. What I didn’t see in that moment was her strength. I didn’t see the single mom going through a brutal divorce, worried about supporting three children, and feeling unsure of her place in a corporate world that often expects toughness over truth. Thankfully, I didn’t let that moment define her. I looked deeper. What I found wasn’t fragility—it was strength. What she lacked wasn’t skill—it was confidence. And that became our focus. When given responsibility, she owned it. She connected teams. Solved problems. Brought calm to chaos.  She didn’t rise because I carried her.
She soared because someone didn’t penalize her for being real. So no—I’m not saying hire every person who cries in an interview.
But I am saying this: Leaders—do better.
We say we want authenticity, but flinch when it shows up in ways that make us uncomfortable.
We say we want resilience, then miss it when it looks like quiet courage instead of loud confidence. Vulnerability is not a liability.
It’s a signal of someone who feels—and people who feel deeply often lead, serve, and show up in ways that transform teams. Don’t miss someone extraordinary because they let you see who they really are.
 Sometimes, the bravest thing a person can do… is be human in front of you. And your job?
Is to recognize that kind of strength—and hire it.

Vulnerability is under appreciated in interviewing. When interviewing two individuals, who is going to be more honest about their potential short comings? The individual who has a stellar track record and is confident about their skills sets? Or someone who has whose experience and abilities fall short of those likely needed to be successful? Yes, when hiring a very important role in a start up (aren't they all "very important??), we want to hear certain things...the "right" answers. But candidates can say anything to make themselves sound attractive, like they are the perfect fit. The perfect candidate does not exist. Digging into where they perceive their potential blind spots may lie can be quite revealing. "Based on the responsibilities of this role, which ones do you think would initially be the most challenging for you, and why?" The answers to a question like this can tell you more about the individual than traditional questions that are targeted at uncovering their strengths and successes to date. Not only can it inform how that person will need to be developed in that role. But their willingness to be vulnerable and share their potential gaps in skills/abilities can also be a very important signal in itself. Candidates that don't see any perceived deficiencies in their game either are not looking hard enough...or they just don't feel comfortable drawing attention to them. Either way, this can be concerning.