What Do You Value?

Did you know we all have values? You probably already have a strong set of values without even realising it. Some typical core values of life, that you might be familiar with are ‘Honesty is the best policy’ or ‘It’s healthy to have a good work/life balance’, these are common and often passed down to us from our families when we are young.

Individual core values are principles of standards or behaviour; one's judgement of what is important in life. They have an influence on a person’s behaviour and attitude and serve as guidelines in situations during our lifetimes such as accepting a new job offer or weighing up the worth of a relationship. These values are unique to you and life is much easier, if you honour them when making plans or decisions.

Common values which you probably would have stumbled across before are those of companies, typically including innovation, honesty, pride, teamwork and so on, which are usually documented within the mission statement or displayed across their company website. If they are genuine and used as guidelines for the companies work, then the values can give you a pretty clear idea about what type of company they are.

After some exploration of my own, I’ve condensed my values to just 5. (Which I thought was going to be really hard – but if you carry on reading I’ll explain how you can do this!!) My current top 5 values are Health, Family, Love, Laughter and Learning.

Health is so important to me and will always take the #1 spot. I take my physical and mental health really seriously and I work on it every day by being as positive and optimistic as possible, completing workouts, spending time outside in nature, working towards goals, and consuming a balanced diet. This really is black and white for me and if I didn’t have good health then I wouldn’t value anything else.

Family and Love come in at #2 and #3 on my values list, as for me I believe they go hand in hand (almost). I love spending time with my family and consider them the most important people in my life. My family provide me with a lot of things such as security, wisdom, advice, guidance and fun and I wouldn’t trade them for the world and am very lucky to be surrounded by them.

They also provide me with lots of love and I love them very much in return. Love is important to me and something I value because it makes me feel joyful and excited, like a dog wagging its tail uncontrollably or the butterflies in your stomach. It’s great!

Laughter is #4 because it is something I always make sure I do, every single day. ‘Grandad laughing’ is my personal fave – you know the one where no actual sounds come out, just tears and the occasional husky gasp of air. (If you’re reading this and you are one of my close friends or family then I’m sure you can 100% appreciate what I mean? And have seen me in this state many times) Laughing is also something I try and do when times are hard because it is the ultimate mood changer and the number 1 ingredient in the recipe for a better day ahead. If you can laugh through the hard times as well as the good, then I think it shows resilience and strength of character!

Number #5 is Learning! I love to learn and I really value the importance of knowledge, whether that’s through actual experience, listening to podcasts, university, day-to-day tasks or absorbing insight from someone who means a lot to you. I aspire to learn a lot in my lifetime to not only continually develop myself but in the hope of one day passing on the information to someone who might need it. I’m also going to write a book at some point, so the desire to learn is very practical for projects such as this.

There are also a lot of other things that I value, such as honesty, trust, respect, nature, kindness, organisation, gratitude and wisdom - but again, without the top 5, these wouldn't mean anything to me.

Now that you know what my values are, it’s your turn to work out what you value…

If you were presented with a situation such as 1) Accepting a new job offer or 2) Weighing up the worth of a relationship, I want to know:

• What would you do first?
• How would you make these decisions?
• And what would you be asking yourself?

Prior to learning about what I value, I probably would have asked myself a simple question such as ‘Will this new job make me happy?’ or ‘Does this relationship make me happy right now and will it continue to make me happy in the future?’. Simple easy questions around happiness, joy, pride and satisfaction are a good starting point. However these simple questions are only one factor and shouldn’t be the be-all-and-end-all of decision making – your values should!

But why, I hear you ask. Because as strange as it may sound, have you ever stopped and asked yourself what makes you truly happy? Or what the true definition of satisfaction is to you? Well, when you know what you value and you live in accordance, it brings greater fulfilment and with that improves your happiness and satisfaction.

Now, if I was presented with those situations I would do a quick mental tick list of my values e.g does said job affect my health positively? Do I love said job? And so on… Yes – then great, you’ve got yourself a Job! (Paddy McGuiness voice) No – This job doesn’t align with my values and it’s not right for me at this time.

To work out what your values can be hard because in all honesty, there are numerous values that you could choose from and it can become very daunting. So I’d recommend these three easy steps to anyone who wants to find out what they value. All you need is a list of values (see picture below, I have attached one), 3 coloured pens and some time to dedicate to yourself. Remember that there is no correct answer and the choices are unique to you!

Step one: Use your first coloured pen to highlight any of the words on the list that means something to you. Don't be afraid to add your own if there are values that resonate with you that are not on the list. (Obviously try not to highlight the whole page or you’ll find steps two and three much harder)

Step two: Use the second coloured pen to highlight the top 10 most important values from the ones you highlighted in step number one. These don’t have to be in order, but its best to narrow them down for the final step.

Step three: Once you have your top 10 values, you want to choose the one that is the most important to you from the list. This will be your number 1 value! (You might find it easier at this stage to work out the entire order of your top 10 or top 5 – you could do this by writing them out onto post-it notes and by using the process of comparison you should be able to move the values into the order that you feel is correct)

After you have your values, you might want to step away from them for a time to ensure you have picked correctly or ask yourself some questions such as ‘Would I be happy to read these out to someone whom I love?’ or ‘Would I still stand by these values even if I was in a minority?’ You can then use your values in everyday life, to make decisions and create goals. For example, if family is one of your top values (like mine), would you want to work a 60+ hour job with unsocial hours? Hell no!

Working out your values is also a lifelong challenge and one that needs dedication, this is because values change as people age. For example, children may value excitement before they become exposed to the stresses and strains of 'adult life'. Similarly, the older generation may value travel as they have more free time to spend exploring the world.

Lucy x