In ... we Trust ?

“Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men is primarily based on mutual trust…” – Albert Einstein

Trust, together with credibility, is one of the most important elements in any relationship, business, or personal life. We understand that without trust there can be no loyalty, and without loyalty there can be no true growth.

These days, as we move rapidly into an even more transparent, interdependent, global reality, trust is more critical than it has ever been.

So how to gain it, build it, preserve it and in incorporate it into every area of our lives?

First and foremost, what is trust? Simple answer to that question gave once Jack Welch, former CEO of GE:

“You know it when you feel it”

Trust means confidence. When you trust people, you have confidence in them, in their abilities, integrity.Opposite of trust is suspicion. When you distrust people, you are suspicious of their integrity, capabilities. It is that simple.

We all have those people around us, people to whom we put high trust (we can easily express our feelings, communication, our joy of that relationship) On the other hand, people with whom we have low-trust connections make us feel more conscious, they slower things that need to be done, drain us.

Trust is one of the most powerful forms of motivation and inspiration. People want to be trusted and they respond to trust. We could say that trust is one thing that changes everything.

Easy to say, but we all have heard some of the myths about trust. They are easy to believe in, they are even a good excuse. But can we do something about trust?

We hear quite often that: “you either have trust or you don´t”. Well, it is not something that can be taken for granted, as trust can be both created and destroyed. Following that, “Once lost, trust cannot be restored”? Though trust is difficult, in most cases lost trust can be restored. “Trusting people is too risky”, isn´t not trusting people a greater risk?

Most people could connect above examples with private life, but what about business? Can trust influence economy or business. Actually, it can, and it already does. Before we understand how trust works and how it affects our daily life, both private relationships, home and business, we need to ask ourselves two basic questions: Who do you trust? Who trusts you?

Let me quote here Guy Kawasaki, an author of The Art of the Start :

“after you turn off the projector, quit PowerPoint and end your pitch, most deals come down to a simple question: Do you trust each other? ...”

Few years ago I came across a book by Stephen M. R. Covey, “The Speed of Trust”. Covey describes there an easy formula about influence of trust on our daily life and decisions. According to author, trust affects two outcomes: speed and cost. When trust goes down, speed goes down as well and same time cost goes up. Once trust goes up, we face opposite: speed goes up and cost goes down.

Trust is a function of two vital things: character and competence. As character includes our integrity, motives, intention with people, competence our capabilities, skills, results, track records. We can see that it depends on us. So, in order to establish and grow trust, we should see, speak and behave in certain manner. It is not only about our interaction with people around us, but also about ourselves, we shall start with being credible, both to ourselves and to others. Credibility is something we can do something about, as it is based on:

• integrity (includes being honest, being congruent, both inside and out),
•  intentions (if our motives are open, straightforward and based on mutual benefit, and we care not only for ourselves),
• capabilities (our talents, skills, knowledge, attitudes that inspire confidence),
•  results (our performance, our getting the right thing done, by achieving what we promised, we establish a positive reputation of performing)

Many of us do not follow on the goals we set or/and do not keep promises and commitments we make to ourselves. (How about our annual New Year´s resolutions? ) Once it happens to us time after time it slowly influences our way or thinking and takes away our self-confidence.

Leaders within any organization need to understand how huge part plays their ability to build self-confidence in others.

Behavior matters /Trust is established through action

Our behavior has far greater impact than anything we say. We can say that we love someone, unless we demonstrate that love through our actions. We can say our company puts the customer first. We can say that we recognize people as our most important asset. We can say even more. Unless we actually do them, our words will, most likely, destroy any trust.

Spoken words are like a signal to act, they declare intent, build hope. As they are followed by behavior, they simply increase trust.

How we change and work on our behavior? To influence our behavior is not that easy, but still worth it. Stephen Covey, in his book, shows 13 simply rules that need to be followed:

1.    Tell the truth. You will leave right impression and by talking straight your honesty is in action.

Will we trust a person who already lied to us once, or a person who faced the truth?

2.    Demonstrate respect. Those are the little things that count, that matter and build trust. It is how we treat others. Care for others. Treat everyone with respect, especially those who cannot do anything for you. Do not fake.

3.    Create Transparency. Be open, authentic, genuine and tell the truth in a way people can verify.

4.    Right Wrongs. “to know what is right and not to do is the worst cowardice – Confucius

Make up, take action. Do what you can, to correct a mistake.

5.    Show loyalty. Give credits to others, speak about others as if they were present.

6.    Deliver Results. Simply get the right things done, make things happen, not excuses.

7.    Get better. Improve continuously, learn, increase your capabilities.

8.    Confront Reality. Address the hard stuff directly.

9.    Clarify expectations. This is one of those behaviors that people pay little attention to. Disclose and reveal expectations. Discuss them, Validate, negotiate if needed.

10. Practice Accountability. Take responsibility for results.

11. Listen First. Listen before you speak, understand. Do not assume what matters most to others

12. Keep commitments. Always, simply always, do what you promised. Make commitments carefully. Do, what you said you will do.

13. Extend Trust. Demonstrate a propensity to trust. Extend abundantly trust to those who have earned your trust and conditionally to those who are earning it. Don´t withhold trust because there is risk involved.

Whatever the organisations are – business, non-profit, a department, a team or a family – they have greater trust when they are aligned, when they have structures and systems that recognize values.

We were born with tendency to trust. As children, most of us were naïve, innocent, vulnerable and gullible. Through our life experience, many of us have become less trusting, sometimes with good reason. Whatever our situation was, the reality is that we can choose to retain or restore our propensity to trust. The key lies in our ability to forgive and also in our ability to balance our propensity to trust with analysis.

In our personal and family relationships, trust is essential to satisfaction and joy. And we can establish it, we can grow it, we can extend it and restore it. We can become credible, both personally and organizationally. We can behave in ways that inspire trust. So why would we not want to do it?