SURPLUS VALUE
How Do You Add Surplus Value to the Lives of Others?
All of us like to believe we matter—that we are valuable to our workplace, to our significant other, to friends and family. But are we as valuable as we think? Research suggests that most people overestimate their importance. There is often a gap between the value we actually add and the value we imagine we provide. That is not to say we add nothing. It simply means that the reality is usually more modest than our perception.
At certain points in life, each of us becomes a debtor. We take more than we give. That is not a flaw, but a condition of being human. At other times, however, we have opportunities to give more than we take—to create surplus value in the lives of others. The hope is that over time we deposit more good will, kindness, and energy than we withdraw.
Adam Grant, in his book Give and Take, describes three broad ways people approach relationships: as givers, takers, or matchers. Matchers live by fairness, balancing favors and obligations. It is a reasonable way to live. Givers, by contrast, extend help without expectation of return. Takers, however, seek advantage while offering little in exchange. What complicates matters is that many takers see themselves as matchers. And, since most of us tend to overestimate our generosity, it is worth pausing to ask honestly where we might fall on this spectrum.
Why does it matter? Because in a time when society often feels more fragmented and inwardly focused, choosing to extend ourselves toward others is an act of quiet resistance. Too often, we avoid even the smallest gestures—eye contact, a greeting, an acknowledgement of someone’s presence—for fear of being inconvenienced. Yet it is precisely in these small moments that we affirm one another’s humanity.
A brief encounter reminded me of this recently. I was walking into a grocery store when I noticed a woman unloading her groceries. For a moment, I considered whether to offer to return her cart. I walked past but then turned back and asked if I could take it. She smiled and said, “Thank you.” It was such a simple thing, hardly worth mentioning. And yet, I walked away lighter. Perhaps she did as well. Perhaps she even shared that moment with someone else later in the day. One exchange, one gesture, multiplied.
Scott Galloway, a professor and podcaster I admire, recently reflected on the idea of surplus value. In economics, the term refers to creating more worth for a company than one is compensated for. That definition matters little to me. What interests me is how we become surplus value people—individuals who contribute more to the lives around us than we withdraw.
Three practices come to mind:
1. Be a giver. Extend kindness without expecting anything in return. If generosity circles back to you, receive it with gratitude, but let it never be the motive.
2. Acknowledge others. Eye contact, a greeting, even a smile reminds people they are seen. These gestures are small, but their weight is greater than we imagine.
3. Be present. As my friend Clint Hurdle says, “Be where your feet are.” When you are with others, be fully there. Set distractions aside. Listen. Pay attention.
These practices are simple, almost ordinary. Yet their impact can be extraordinary. If each of us made a conscious effort to add even one moment of surplus value each day, the cumulative effect would be profound. As the saying goes, “It only takes moving one grain of sand to change the world.”