Success

Throughout my life I’ve encountered failures and enjoyed successes in my endeavors.  Some of these experiences have been on my mind and I’d wanted to relay the things that helped me be successful as well as the things that have hindered me in my pursuit of success.  My hope is that this would encourage some that might be struggling with some of the same challenges that I’ve encountered. I’ve broken them down into eight items.

Define it

If I told you that I had a friend that was successful, what picture appears in your mind?  Probably someone wealthy? Expensive suit/fancy dress, expensive car, nice house, etc. This might not have been the image that everyone conjures, but I suspect it will be for many.  It’s a reflection of what society has whispered to us in advertising for years. Success equals money. Do me a favor and forget that. Only you can define what success is for you, and quite frankly, it will change.  Early in my life, success meant good grades in school. Early in my career it meant good money and good experience. However, give some thought to what you want in life. Loyal friends, meaningful and strong relationships with your family, a high quality of life, low stress, freedom, etc.  Some of these things are priceless to me. No one ever stood over the grave of a loved one and uttered, “He should have spent more time at the office.”

When I was in high school I worked in a men’s wear store.  We sold fitted suits and quality leather shoes. One evening while the store was mostly quiet an elderly gentleman came into the store.  He was quite a memorable character. He asked where the button up shirts we had for sale were. He told me that he liked to keep his shirt unbuttoned so all the fine ladies could admire his chest.  While I chuckled at his obvious silliness he said, “let me show you” and began to unbutton his shirt. Hanging from a gold chain around his neck was a diamond pendant. My mother worked in jewelry most of her life and based on that I could fairly well estimate the value of what I was looking at.  Probably a six figure item. All of the sudden he got real serious and told me, “Don’t ever make money your goal.” He said it with a certainty that caused me to always remember him. I’ll pass this onto you as advice, but now with certainty from my own experience. You’ll never be satisfied and it will consume you if you make money your goal.  Figure out what gives you meaning and pursue it. I’m not talking about happiness, I’m talking about worth and fulfillment. Find it, define it, pursue it.

Create goals based on your defined success

Many people drift about in aimlessness.  I was very fortunate in never having to struggle with this.  My dad was an engineer and built a computer before you could even purchase one, and my world of software development began at the age of five.  You could have asked me at any point and I would have told you that computers were going to be a part of what I did. I never lost that vision and that is one of the main reasons that I never had to struggle with this problem.  You see, I had a vision in my mind and I made it my goal to pursue that from a very early age. My dad helped cultivate this by telling me I could play all the games I wanted to on my computer, but I had to build them. Twenty five years into a career in software engineering has provided a lot for me.  Security, income, prestige. Most of all though, is the consistent direction it has given me. You need this too, and you need to get a grip on it early before life sets in with its responsibilities and lifestyle creep and you get stuck in a job making ends meet. 74% of Americans hate their job. We live in an epidemic of mental health problems and this has to be a reflection of that.  It’s not easy pursuing your dreams. There is a lot of risk. There is much more risk to playing it safe. You’ll wake up one day thirty years from now and realize that you mailed it on your dreams a long time ago.

Work hard

I can thank both of my parents for teaching me about work ethic.  My very first job was working for my dad. Don’t get the wrong idea about it.  This wasn’t one of those all familiar “son of the boss” stories. He worked me harder than any other job I’ve ever had and he paid me for it.  My mother is one of the hardest working people I have ever known. She washed my sheets once a week, she vacuumed our house twice a day, she cleaned and kept our family’s house spotless and cooked us three square meals a day.  I never had to eat a school lunch or pour a bowl of cereal. She made us a hot breakfast every morning and packed us a freshly made lunch. This had been one of the best gifts they ever gave me.

I was 20 years old in the military when I realized I needed to get a second job to help ends meet.  So I worked my morning job from 5 am till noon and then I worked my military job from 3 pm till midnight.  Do the math there. That left about five hours for sleep. But that doesn’t count the time it took me to get up and get ready for work or to drive home.  I knew that I needed something else, because I wasn’t working toward my goal anymore. So I convinced my CO to let me work in the support shop and so I could work with the computers we had in our area.  I bought a new computer and began to study. Sunday’s were my day off and I studied between my jobs from noon to three. It would have been so much easier to just convince myself to use that time to rest or to do other things I wanted to do, but I would have had to give up on my dream.  Today is the day for you to take hold of your dreams, not tomorrow.

Programming is not just something I do, it’s something I love.  It’s hard though. At times it is very hard. That’s the reason I do it.  It’s a pursuit that helps give my life meaning. Pursue your dreams because it is difficult, and in that pursuit you will grow and become stronger.

Stay focused

Without commitment you’ll never get started, but more importantly, without consistency you’ll never finish.  Your habits need to match your goals or you need to change them. Be consistent in what you are doing. When the day comes along that you want to just relax and take that day off, work twice as hard toward your goal that day.   

A few years ago I decided to lose some weight.  I had ballooned up to about 245 and it was starting to cause me some health problems.  Blood pressure was high, cholesterol was high and I had trouble sleeping. I needed to lose some weight.  At first I just lowered my calories, and would take walks after lunch. I didn’t set out to run a marathon.  My focus was on the day to day discipline of consistently eating less and walking. The pounds started to drop.  My walking turned into jogging because walking was starting to be too easy. One evening I decided to see if I could run a mile without stopping.  It killed me, but I did it. If I could do it once I could do it again. The next night I tried to run a mile, walk a mile, run a mile. I was fully focused now on the day to day consistency of it.  Not the weight loss. I dropped 45 lbs in less than 6 months, but more importantly I ran a sub 20 minute 5k. I’m not much of an emotional person, but I cried. And I felt great. It took focus to do it.  There were many days I just didn’t want to run. My ankles hurt. It’s hotter than hell in Texas during the Summer. Ease is a bigger threat to your progress than hardship. Hardship conditions us, ease leads to comfort.  Never give up because what’s at stake is your dreams, but dreams without work are just dreams and they will lead to disappointment.

Cut loose the safety nets

You don’t need a backup plan in your life.  That will just drain energy and focus from your goals.  It will also cause doubt. We used to have an expression on the basketball court.  It was used when a guy would get a pass outside the three point line with no one guarding him.  You need to take the shot, don’t study it. The expression was, “Study long, study wrong.” What that means is, when your opportunity presents itself, don’t over think it or take too long considering it.  If the guy with the open shot stops to think he’s gonna miss it. Take the shot, don’t think.

About three years ago I had decided that I wanted to explore my career options.  Out of nowhere, a recruiter contacted me about a job teaching. I’ve never been a teacher.  A job at a code academy was open and they were looking for someone with programming experience.  If I had hesitated at all I could have easily convinced myself that it wasn’t for me, or that there was no way they would offer me the job.  Don’t ask why, ask why not. I prepared for the interview fervently and was offered the job immediately after my interview. Take the shot. If you miss (and you will often) keep shooting.  Don’t overthink it.

Don't listen to the doubters

There will always be skeptics who project their own fears and failures onto you.  I’ve been told constantly that throughout my career. “You need at least a masters degree to get into management.”  “You need an advanced degree from a prestigious university to be an executive.” “Companies like Microsoft, Google, and Apple will only take a 4.0 gpa.”  Well, here I am to prove the doubters wrong. CTO of a major division of the largest marketing company in the world before the age of 30. Worked at Microsoft as an engineer.  Both an architect and a senior level manager at companies like Gamestop. Worked as a market analyst on Wall street. Don’t listen to the doubters. Often they will tell you about things they’ve never done.

My military enlistment was drawing close to a time when I had to make a decision about reenlisting or moving on from the military.  Many of my colleagues were questioning my decision to leave the Air Force. I heard, “you’ll be flipping burgers” from more than one of them.  And not a single one of them had ever been employed outside the military. What could they possibly know? Don’t listen to the naysayers. I don’t regret leaving the military.  It’s a good career for many, but it wasn’t for me. It was really risky to leave the security of a military career. I was very fortunate to have the support of my family at the time.

Help someone else once you’ve made it

Give back to show your appreciation to those who pulled you up.  Be there for your fellow man. You didn’t do this on your own.

A few years ago I was interviewing a guy and I did a little research on him.  Come to find out that he went to high school with me. This caused some reflection.  What was different between me and this guy? How could our lives maybe have turned out the opposite?  I realized that I had been afforded some opportunities that had made a huge difference in my life. When I left the military I didn’t have much experience in software development to show.  I knew I could do the work, but my resume didn’t reflect it. Tom Price decided to give a kid a big break. I’m not sure what he saw in me or why he did it, but it changed my life for the better.  I told Tom how much I appreciated what he had done, but I can never thank him enough. He made a difference to me.  

I’ve never been a teacher.  No experience to speak of. For some reason Gary James thought I was a good fit anyway.  I’m not sure why he was convinced so, but by hiring me he has given me a new path in life just when I needed it.  To my mentors, thank you. Tom Price, Rich Oloveri, John McEchron, Charles Poston, and Gary James. Thank you for lifting me up.  Without you there wouldn’t be a me.

That’s a big part of why I enjoy teaching.  This is my opportunity to share in my experience and make a difference.  It means so much to see my students getting jobs and starting their careers.

Put God first

At some point everyone has to come to grips with who they are, where they come from, where they are going, and what the purpose in their life is.  God answers those questions for me. It puts to rest those nagging questions and makes sense out of all of it. Come to terms with the fact that you’re not the center of the universe.  We were put here for a reason and it helps to understand that reason. In all things acknowledge your creator to His glory.