Shine the Light

A few weeks back you may remember I shared a tantrum (and my ego) with you. I had become frustrated that I couldn't get my book moving along faster to get it published. The desire to accomplish this looms large over me, it always has. I felt like I had failed because so many of the Teachings refer to this moment in time.

It was then, my guide relayed this thought to me: "What is the purpose of this lesson? It is to shine a light on things that need attention, or you haven't seen yet. When you walk with God the dark side will pursue you through your ego."

I knew the answers were there within the statement so I wrote it down on paper to be sure and give it the attention I knew it would require. Apparently, my ego convinced me that I had done everything in my power but failed. Well, who put me in charge? Here is where the wagon fell off the track. Everything happens in God's time, in perfect time, I am not in control. A second look showed me I was expecting others to pick up the slack, the part I either hadn't done yet or didn't want to do in the first place. I wanted to do it my way! (whah) I was being told that it doesn't matter if you don't write or share your experiences, no one will notice or care. (whah whah)

For days, I couldn't bring myself to open my laptop or to check to see if I had any messages; I was afraid it was true. When I was able to think clearly I realized this was a fictitious thought. I don't write to receive something, I write to give something, to plant the seeds that will eventually grow in people's hearts one day. I remember telling you all in an earlier post that the earth's balance was off and to be especially aware of your ego.

Now here's the good part. I did open my laptop and people had commented and each comment, on its own, filled my heart, gave me hope, and lit a fire in me; one that I let dim, if only for a moment. Every thought I had was diminished with each person's heart-felt expression to me. Everything I was searching for, everything I felt I needed was right there in their words, their intention. A brand new connection an hour before was the first to post and he said, "why are you so mad at LinkedIn"? This comment hit me in the face, it helped to clarify the tone I had used was quite out of character which immediately alerted me to my ego. This isn't me, this isn't mine. It might surprise you that it was an assortment of people, young and older, foreign and domestic. An act of love translates to each of us, delivers its momentum and inspiration so effectively, so softly.

My brothers, be alert, be on the lookout for that dreadful ego who will take you places you don't want to go. I appreciate you all.

Be blessed.