Seeing vs Looking

In my mum’s lounge room, a large window looked out onto the street. Like many elderly people, she liked to sit and watch the world go by from the comfort of her armchair. She knew when the neighbours went out and when they arrived home. She knew who regularly walked their dog and whose children rode their skateboards down the hill. She watched what others did and connected the dots in her mind about what they did and who they were.

Windows are made to be looked through, and there are other kinds of windows that are not physical but which can help us see ourselves more clearly – to connect the dots in our lives. One such, very helpful window, is the Johari Window, constructed in 1955 by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. It is one method, among many, we can use to develop self-awareness, and grow our self-leadership. The Johari Window consists of four quadrants in a square – Arena, Façade, Blind Spot and Unknown.

Looking through the Arena window

In the Arena quadrant lie the things that an individual knows about themselves and which others also know. This is an area of real openness. As we look through this window quadrant we see aspects of ourselves and our lives that we happily share with others – our Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn profiles sit happily in this quadrant.

Looking through the Façade window

The second quadrant is the Façade. In this hidden area are the things a person knows about themselves but that others don’t know. This is a private space known only to the individual, and which may hang the skeletons in our closet. There is however another aspect to the Façade, because in this square also lie the things a person believes about themselves that may not be true.

We all see ourselves through the lens of our particular viewpoints. For example, we may want to be seen as the life of the party, so we act in an outgoing manner when, in fact, we may be much more insecure than we let others see – or acknowledge to ourselves.

Looking through the window of the Blind Spot

The third quadrant is the Blind Spot. Here other people know things about a person to which that individual is blind. In this quadrant lie aspects of our character or personality that we either cannot see or refuse to acknowledge. An extreme example of this may be the narcissistic personality. Those who are in relationship with narcissists are very aware of their behaviours. However, when a narcissistic person is confronted with either their actions or attitudes, they deny that they are like this in any way.

Looking through the window into the Unknown

The final square is the Unknown, in which lie those things that are unknown to both a person and to others. In this quadrant are things such as a natural ability that a person doesn’t know they have or takes for granted; an ability that is underestimated or untried due to lack of opportunity or encouragement; an unknown fear; or some type of conditioned behaviour or attitude developed in childhood. Looking through the window of the Unknown can be the most fruitful for understanding who we are and why we do things. It is in this area that we often have those ‘lightbulb’ or ‘aha’ moments, which can be prompted by good coaching or being part of self-development workshops. The coach doesn’t know what lies there, and neither does the person. But as questions are posed and answered, self-revelation occurs.

We truly get to connect the dots in a new and real way.

• For more information on the Johari Window, go to www.selfawareness.org.uk/news/understanding-the-johari-window-model
• Want to check out how you can connect the dots in your life? Email me at bron@backstory.com.au. We'll talk about what may suit you best.