Second Marathons

I ran my first marathon on nothing more than a challenge from a friend. We had run races before and this was just the next distance to achieve. The reason to do one marathon is to prove that you can do it, to check it off the bucket list. The reason to do a second marathon is less straightforward.

When I moved to San Francisco, I was training for my first marathon. People ask whether moving to a new city was difficult. I respond that all I really did was step on a plane and wake up in a new city. Marathon training, with its months of commitment to continually push my limits, gave perspective to difficulty.

On Sunday, I will be running my second marathon. I have been telling people that I am doing it because I am crazy. I may say that flippantly because I am not even sure myself, which makes it sound even crazier. Friends enjoy reminding me that the first person to run the distance of a marathon died. As crazy as it seems, I am certain that my growth as a person has been intrinsically connected to my growth as a runner.

Through my years of training and growing, running has become a foundation of who I am, but it had not always been like this.

Not born to run

My first recorded run was almost four years ago on August 4, 2012. It was a cloudy 19 degree day and I ran 5.31 kilometres at a 5’12” pace. Being my first recorded one, I definitely ran as fast as I could. Pain is temporary, Internet records are forever.

What most people do not know is this was hardly my first run. I was too shy or embarrassed to have recorded my early runs. I had been running on the treadmill all winter (and probably picking up bad running habits). When the snow melted in early spring, I had been running outside.

I never imagined that I would now be waking up early most mornings to run. I hated waking up early (still do) and I definitely was not a runner.

I felt like I had no business attempting to run. I was broad shouldered, heavy-legged and flat-footed. As a child, I would have been described as husky. It was intimidating to step out my own door and into a world where I thought runners were skinny, gazelle-like people and I was the hippo in whatever clunky cross-training shoes I had at the time.

I could have let the intimidating fears of my mind own’s making or the endless stream of excuses deter me in 2012. I could have turned back around and put it off for another day. After four years of running, that first step out my door will always be the toughest moment. But, if I had turned around that day, I doubt I would have began this journey, which fundamentally changed who I am today.

The runner mentality

What I lack in running physiology, I try to balance with the right mentality for long-distance running. At this point, I cannot separate what parts of my mentality made me inclined to run and what parts were developed from running. But, I can say the two traits that have kept me running are: I am persistent and I believe in incremental improvement.

I have run through the dizzying east coast humidity and over the numerous San Francisco hills. I have overcome shin splints and knee injuries. I have run through all these things because I find the challenge to be thrilling and I am driven to accomplish the goal. I always remind myself of this Calvin Coolidge quote.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”
- Calvin Coolidge

This quote developed into my first running mantra, a repeated thought as I run, “persistence and determination.” It reminds me that despite not being gifted at something, I do not have to accept it as a weakness.

I also believe in incremental improvement to achieve a much greater accomplishment. Through the years of running, there has not been a major breakout moment, no turning point where running suddenly became easy. It has taken focussed effort to continue to run a little better, a little faster. Whether I am stretching out my runs by a kilometre or two or I am cutting out one walking break, I take each opportunity to be better.

I know many of my peer group struggle with the pressure to ensure every step is the perfect opportunity or to make the right move that will guarantee success. I believe that there are rarely perfect opportunities. It is better to take every opportunity as one to learn and grow. Like in running, each step moves you forward.

Running has become foundational to my mentality. It built my confidence to do what seemed impossible. I learned to push my limits and to know what I have left when I feel like I have nothing left to give.

My second marathon

That brings us back to today, with the marathon a few days away, to the question of why I am running another marathon.

The finish line of a marathon is a surprisingly emotional place. I have seen people laugh uncontrollably, openly sob with joy and gutturally shout in triumph. This raw expression comes from pushing yourself to the limits and achieving an impressive goal.

To me, running is the measure of the human heart, both literally and figuratively. It is the measurable embodiment of my desire to unendingly grow and to be better than I was yesterday. Maybe you do have to be crazy to want to push yourself to that extent, but great accomplishments are achieved with great challenges, even if they are self-imposed.

So, why am I running a second marathon? Because this marathon is the continued commitment to the person who stepped out that door in August 2012. It is reaffirming my desire to overcome my own fears and negativity, and a reminder that being alive is the process of continually challenging and growing.

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Paul is running the San Francisco marathon on Sunday, July 31, 2016. This will be his second marathon and his goal is to cross the finish line in one piece. His impossible stretch goal is to run it sub-4:00.