Relationships Are Everything

Let’s take a quick trip back to your childhood and see if your parents ever said this:

“You’re only as good as the company you keep.”

Like so many other pearls of wisdom your parents passed along to you (whether you asked for their advice or not) your parents were right! Our friends are a reflection of who we are. They are a window to what we believe in and a door to what matters most to us.

The truth is, friendships at work matter just as much as they do in our personal lives. Relationships in business provide connections and these connections create in-roads and opportunities that lead toward success. 

Trusted relationships give us a wealth of knowledge when we need advice. They also give us a support network when we need a safety net. Like a jewel at the bottom of the ocean, relationships are a treasure. They expand our sphere of influence and enrich our lives. Relationships also provide us with the key ingredient to job satisfaction:  

                                  Relationships bring us joy.

If you are not a relationship person, you are narrowing the playing field and limiting your ability to succeed. So, ask yourself two quick questions:

1.  Do I know anything about my co-workers, beyond what they do at work?

2.  Do I try to create connections in my industry (and beyond) that will make me a resource to everyone I interact with?

A “yes” answer to these questions is a good sign that you understand the value of relationships. A “no” answer means you need to adjust your compass because you are short changing yourself.

To begin building relationships, we must reach out and connect with the people around us in an authentic, memorable way. This is especially true if we work from home where it’s easy to feel isolated. 

In his groundbreaking book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie wrote: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people to be interested in you.

Here are 10 Essential Relationship Building Blocks

1.  Make sure your daily To Do List includes engaging with at least 1 person you don’t know very well or reaching out to a client, just to re-connect. 

2.  Small talk is BIG talk

3.  It’s not about you, it’s about them.

4.  Listen with intention and put away your phone

5.  Ask questions like: “What can I do for you” or “If there is ever anything I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

6.  Strive to be a connector, a problem solver, and a resource. 

7.  Attend networking events regularly. Do this because you will always learn something new and/or meet someone new to add to your list of valued connections.

8.  Follow-up if you said you would

9.  Never forget to return a favor

10.                Remember: when people are deciding who they want to work with, chances are: they want to work with their friends.

Recently, I had the chance to interview Megan Carroll, an attorney and former law professor who is now a Relationship Manager for The Bullfinch Group in Boston. I asked Megan why relationships are everything and what she does to nurture connections of her own:

“I am a connector, so I take chances outside of my comfort zone. I have a genuine love and curiosity about meeting, introducing and helping people. If there is a person standing alone in a room, I make it a point to approach that person and introduce myself. Sometimes, these people become clients, but they also become friends or acquaintances who are the first to offer help when I need it.

I’ve always prided myself on being a connector, but an epiphany occurred when an uber-connector here in Boston known as Jack Connors (former President & CEO of Hill, Holiday and Partners Healthcare) helped me when I was in a tough spot. He said: pay it forward and I’ve been doing it ever since.”

What’s amazing about Megan’s story is this: Jack Connors said the same thing to me 35 years ago…way before I got started in radio and like Megan, I’ve kept my promise and have been passing it along ever since.  

This latest chapter in my life as an Executive Coach was created by keeping that promise, paying it forward, being a mentor and a constant connector who values relationships. 

Here’s the story: 

Thirteen years ago, I met former WCVB News Anchor Liz Brunner rehearsing with the Boston Pops for a charity event at Symphony Hall.  I can still remember sitting beside her, introducing myself and deciding that this woman was someone of incredible character whom I wanted to know and cultivate as a friend.

I invited her to sit at my table of family and friends at the Exceptional Women Awards, she agreed to join my board for Boston Women in Media & Entertainment, and co-hosted our signature events, The Story Behind Her Success and Stars Over Boston with grace and style.

I watched as she made flawless, first impressions always focused on the person she was talking to. We realized early on that we were both connectors. 

When Liz exited WCVB in 2013 after spending 30 years as a broadcast journalist, I watched her launch her company: Brunner Communications with passion and perseverance. In 2015, I exited Magic 106.7 after 25 years on the station and one year later, Liz called to say I was the one trusted connection she wanted to invite into her company…to work and learn a new craft, by her side.

Some people call this kind of story “luck and serendipity”. 

                        I call it relationship building.

What’s the moral of this story? 

        Be a connector. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.