A Quora reply: Finding Yourself

A few months ago, I wrote this as a reply to a question on Quora for someone who was seeking general direction in their life. I stumbled upon it today and felt compelled to share it.

I've been where you have been and there are many ways to solve this problem. This is how I would solve it.

What you are looking for right now is to go from surviving to thriving and in order to do that you must first make up your mind about who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. So many people want to better their lives but they have no clear vision or direction for who they want to become.

 First, you must sit down and think about the person that you will be five years from now if everything you've ever wanted came true. 

A good friend and mentor once taught me that the best way to get a clearer vision about what you want and who you want to become is to imagine the ideal version of your future self; describe that person in detail and note those characteristics. Close your eyes and pretend that you are hanging out with a group of your best friends - laughing joking having a drink and enjoying everything about that moment. How does that feel? You want that feeling to become your inspiration. Perform this process for vision with every aspect of who you see yourself becoming.

 Once you have a vision for who you want to be and what your life will be like, write these characteristics down; treat them as goals. Once you have written down all of the characteristics that you can think of, break those characteristics down into tangible milestones that you can accomplish. Once you've written down milestones that you think you can reasonably achieve overtime, break those milestones down even further into small, concrete tangible tasks that you know you can accomplish. Something simple like go to the gym three times this week. Make your list your mantra. 

Now, follow these rules:

1. Get yourself out of debt. Education and real estate are the only two things that appreciate in value over time. Create a plan to get rid of the rest; there are many out there.
2. Eat a healthy diet and go to the gym. I know this sounds much simpler than it actually is, but it is probably one of the most important things that you can do for yourself. If you feel great every day and you look great every day, you'll make better decisions, you'll be less depressed, and you will find yourself becoming the ultimate potential of who you are. It's much more difficult to achieve your goals if you are groggy, tired, frustrated, and disappointed with yourself. Use a diet and exercise as fuel for your day. If you need to be around other people or want to create relationships, do some group fitness or go on http://meetup.com and find a workout buddy. 
3. If you're into meditation or you're willing to try it, do it. I can't tell you anything that has changed my life more than meditation. It is a door that can open up your mind and help you discover who you are and what you're dealing with.
4. Always be learning. Always be challenging yourself to understand something that you haven't understood before. Become a master of your career. Know more than your peers and be better at your job than other people but be kinder than them as well.

Finally, always focus on the future and how you can make a difference in your life every day. Sometimes it's hard, but you need to get up and go do something to improve your life. Make a list of all of the negative things that you need to take care of in your life and start crossing those items off the list. Start with the simplest ones first and work your way down.

I know that may not seem like the most cohesive advice but I managed to change my life into something wonderful because of it. If you need a life coach or somebody that you want to talk to you feel free to reach out to me.