The Problem Solving Process
Do problem solving abilities affect your overall quality of life? Could they have an impact on the people in your life and the types of relationships you have? Could your life change in the real meaningful sense of the word if you improved your problem solving skills?
In my mind problem solving was reserved for studying academic subjects. I didn’t see a strong connection between my problem solving abilities and my life problems. I thought my life was objective and living in denial was as good an approach as any.
Overall I genuinely felt like life was happening to me. My lack of awareness around the power of my focus created a learned helplessness mindset in me. Denial seemed like a good life approach because the alternative just represented unnecessary heartache. I felt trapped but I didn’t even know I was living inside a trap.
Thankfully I became aware of the reality of my learned helplessness from reading psychology and the scale of my passivity and reactivity became evident to me. I made a conscious choice to become more active and present instead.
In recent years I have been developing my problem solving skills through software development. Prior to this, it was through foreign language acquisition. Each of these skillsets are challenging but I have come to understand that the problem solving abilities they help cultivate in me are much more valuable than I initially had thought.
Programming is hard and there are many people much better than I am at it. I can objectively see this in the things they are able to do and their ability to solve real problems. I like this level of objectivity that isn’t as clearly seen from guru’s and life coaches who might or might not be doing the work themselves.
This fact of life has allowed me to see the value in genuinely listening to those who know more than me. I get to see on a daily basis how valuable listening skills really are. It has also helped me to see that the best teachers are those that suggest approaches I hadn’t thought of before. They act as knowledgeable soundboards rather than all too suffocating dictators.
These crafts have helped cultivate the mindset in me that everything can be figured out and if it can’t and I have given my all, well it just wasn’t my path to follow or my solution to find. I’m gradually bringing this curiosity and willingness to fail into my relationship with other people. In recent months I have been more open to noticing my relationship with myself and how this influences how I relate to others.
There is a layer to problem solving that is purely mindset and I see this more and more in my day job as a software developer. When I am faced with a problem I have never solved before my default thoughts are rarely ever the greatest and nowhere near the inspiring thoughts in need in those moments. They are usually an amalgamation of numerous versions of ‘I can’t do this’ and ‘this is way too hard for me’.
In my job I don’t have a say as to whether I want to take on a problem or not, I know I have to give it my all and make something work. Sometimes my head hurts from thinking through the problem and from trying to see the potential solution from different angles. Even though going through the growing pain feels difficult it also makes developing a solution that bit more sweeter whenever I do.
There is freedom in all this. I learned a while back that my sense of self doesn’t need to be wrapped up in my problem solving abilities. This isn’t the point of problem solving in the same way that the point of going to the gym isn’t about looking better to other people.
With this toxic narrative put to one side I can accept that while I might not find the answer I also don’t need to believe the negative stories of why I think I can’t do this. As a result, there is more peace and clarity in my mind before I even begin with my step by step process.
With a clear mind, I have less thoughts to mull over and more space in my mind. I can think in simple steps and I can break down this big problem into a handful of action steps I can get started with. This slowed down thinking and simple steps were the antidote I didn’t know I needed when I started my self-education journey.
The daily process behind the problem solving activities is what any progress I see in my life is built on. This process is what helps keep me grounded and on an even keel when I feel like a loser on one day and like a genius the next.
You can listen to the full episode here.
