A Person's Basic Character Trait

There is a famous quote attributed to the philosopher Omar Khayam from the 13th century:

"He who knows, and knows he knows, is a leader. Follow him.

He who knows, and does not know he knows, is asleep. Wake him.

He who does not know, and knows he does not know, is a child. Teach him.

He who does not know, and does not know he does not know, is a fool. Shun him."

I discovered this bit of philosophy on human character when I was 16 years old. That was 46 years ago (damn I'm old!). I can't quite remember where I first came across it. It might have been on a black light poster (it was the 70's after all) or maybe it was repeated to me during one of the very deep discussions I was having with friends as I tried to find my "true self" in those formative teenage years. In any event, little did I know that this quote would shape the way I perceive and interact with people and the relationships I would develop for the next four decades.

Not that all people are the same in every situation or in the way they deal with individual issues. But I have found that most people have a basic character trait that is described by this quote. They are, in a majority of situations, Leaders, Sleepers, Children, or Fools.

Think of some of the people you know. Can you identify their basic character trait? I have discovered in both my professional and personal life that if I understand a person's basic character trait, I can communicate with them much more effectively. Communication however is a two way street. You also need to honestly assess yourself to know your own basic character trait.

Let's take the first one, Leader. You know these folks. In a meeting or discussion, people often defer to their opinion or look for them to speak first. They are not shy about expressing their ideas or beliefs and are confident in the way they present them. Most importantly, they are knowledgeable about the topic and can defend their position. People naturally follow them. These are the employees that you identify early on as the next generation of managers for your company. These are the people you admire in your social group.

The second type is the Sleeper. The Sleeper may have a great intuitive grasp of a situation or issue, may be knowledgeable of a subject, but often they do not believe they do and therefore lack the confidence to express their opinions and views. These are the employees who need development or friends who need encouragement to "come out of their shells". In both business and in personal relationships I have found it very rewarding to mentor and watch these people gain confidence in their abilities and flourish when they realize their potential. Some become leaders, but even if they don't they add great value by contributing to the discussion.

Ah, the Child. These people have enough self awareness to realize that they do not know all there is about any given subject and want to learn more. That in itself is rare. These are the people that are great to interact with as they are eager for you to share your knowledge with them. Some become leaders and contributors. However there is a segment that like learning purely for learning's sake. We sometimes use the term “perpetual students” for these people. You might know someone like this. It's rewarding to teach and it’s fulfilling as they learn and gain knowledge, but be aware that the perpetual student can drain your resources if you are not careful. Make sure they are learning for a purpose or a defined goal.

The Fool. The description says it all. These people believe they know more than most about any given subject, even in the face of evidence that they don't. Many are self delusional and it would never occur to them they might not be an expert on everything. They speak up on every subject, most of the time very loudly as they think the additional volume adds authenticity to what they have to say. My experience is that it is very, very difficult for people who have this basic character trait to change. They usually have horrendous listening skills so the use of logical arguments does little good. Part of their self delusion is a large ego, so social shaming doesn’t work either. These are the people in my life that I try to avoid at all costs. They just are not worth it. I recommend that you also avoid these people once you have identified them. You have better things to do with your time such as following leaders, waking up someone's potential or passing on your knowledge.