PEER RELATIONSHIPS

Why are we so competitive with our peers? Huge teams performances  is often calibrated and ranked against people at the same level in your organization (who are typically your peers). Typically your performance rating, raise, and bonus depends on how well you and your team performed against these counterparts. Often when you work in such environment your experience like the feeling that my peers were my competition, not my teammates arise.

A lot of us who work and lead in environments like major corporations and fast-moving startups are in those roles because we are smart, driven, and have valuable skills to leverage. But those qualities that make us so desirable are often also our downfall in relationships with our peers.

How to improve relationships with your peers

This can be a huge challenge for people who have spent their lives striving to be number one, all the time. It requires changing not only in how to treat people, but in how you think about other people and yourself as well.

However, if you can implement a few priorities in your daily working life, you can begin to adjust your priorities and start reaping the long-term benefits of being a collaborator instead of a competitor.

Give up control:Try not handling one aspect of your job all by yourself.

Start understanding them:

Many disagreements arise because both people want the other person to come around to their point of view. Try being the person who comes around once in a while. Ask yourself questions to build understanding, like: what drives this person’s perspective? What are their motivations and goals? What is their favored method of communication? What are their non-negotiables?Stay focused on what this person really needs from you, and why. If you can understand your peers, you can reach agreements with them faster. You’ll know how to reach them and what makes them take action (or not), so you both get what you want.

Think as “us” not “me”.

It can be hard to see a peer succeed, especially when it feels like it makes you look inadequate compared to them. But if you’re doing your best work (and you know when you are) then having strong teammates who shine is a good thing. Remember, you’re part of a company, so the stronger everyone in the organization is, the better it is for all of you. Silence that voice that wants other people to fail so you can succeed.

Recognize good work.

Praise someone – sincerely, appropriately – when they’ve done something successfully. Whether this means publicly noting all their hard work at your next executive meeting, or just dropping by their desk to thank them for helping you perfect your presentation, you’ll build trust and consideration from your peers with simple recognition.

None of us hear “thank you” enough at work, so be the person who says “thank you”. You’ll be amazed at how it can change the tone of a conversation or even a relationship.  In fact, try paying your boss a genuine compliment; perhaps something you learned from them or that impressed you.  It seems like higher up you go the fewer accolades you receive.

Avoid being defensive.

This is the flip side of the previous tip. When a peer criticizes your work or disagrees with you, don’t fight fire with fire. Ask questions and be receptive to feedback.

Address grudges.

Is a peer purposely making it harder for you to do your job? Instead of trying to stay out of their way, make a point to get to know them (and get them to know you too). It’s harder to push someone out who’s making an effort to get in.

Focus on real relationships, not political ones.

One project doesn’t matter; being seen as a visionary, an influencer, and a strong collaborator does. When you do your job, think about yourself in terms of your role, not yourself.                                                                                                

                “Build relationships and stay Happy at work place”-Hard Learnt