My Thoughts on Your Thoughts...

Heading into 2020 With Emotional Intelligence

It’s almost the Thanksgiving holiday in the United States. Which means it’s almost the Christmas / Hanukkah holidays. Which means it’s almost New Year’s Eve. Which means it’s almost a new year! A new year with new possibilities and opportunities. Unfortunately, also a new year with some of the same challenges facing businesses and professionals – namely the global pandemic. 

It’s important to always perform self evaluation. “The unexamined life is not worth living” is a phrase accredited to the Greek philosopher Socrates. When every day feels like ground-hog day because of the impacts of the pandemic, it’s equally important to know yourself, your surroundings, and your ‘ruts.’

For (now and) 2021, a few areas wherein you should consider focusing: soft-skills and mixing things-up (professionally). For soft-skills, consider focusing on EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Emotional Intelligence means that you know yourself, know your triggers, know your tendencies, and you know how all of this combines to impact your reactions, relationships, and even your viewpoints. So how do you manage your emotional intelligence?

An examined life teaches us that you have to control your thoughts before your thoughts control you. What you think directs your feelings. What you feel directs your actions. Your actions dictate your results (and consequences). It all starts with your thoughts.

For 2021, try these simple steps to control your thoughts:

1.)   Think the best in others. Not everyone is out to get you. Most people you meet are trustworthy until proven otherwise. Here’s a painful insight: believe it or not, when it comes to ‘that other person or group of people, the thought of “YOU” isn’t paramount on their minds. What? They aren’t thinking about me? Weird. I KNOW!!

2.)   Have an attitude of gratitude. Especially during hard times. Zig Ziglar said “Attitude determines ALTITUDE.” In other words, your thoughts, approach to life, and feelings in the face of challenges determines your trajectory towards success.

3.)   Approach each task, no matter how mundane, with a determination to finish strong. I recently moved to a small town wherein my in-laws have a farm. I have found a wonderful distraction from the daily corporate life: riding a tractor!! I like to mow the fields, move the hay bales, and do other work that has one common theme – when I’m done, I can look back at what I’ve accomplished in the physical and see the results (and quality / poor quality) of my work. Sometimes in corporate life, it feels like you can’t look back and see what you’ve done at the end of a long day. You KNOW you were busy – and you KNOW you worked hard, but what got done? The key is to jump into each task and commit to finish it with creativity, gusto, positivity, and determination. 

4.)   Finally realize that you are in charge of your mind. That sounds simple enough, but you are captain of the ship of your brain. You can control what you think. Back in the 1970’s a concept of computer programming was born: GIGO (Garbage In Garbage Out). Have you ever had your mind drift or wander at incredibly weird times? I was on a date with my wife recently, and she asked me what I was thinking – especially since she was talking to me about some choices related to our current home project. Truth? I was humming the tune to the old TV show “Green Acres.” (and now many of you are humming it too I bet!!!) The music you listen to, the books you read, the conversations you engage in, the TV or media you watch – all of this swirls around in your brain like a washing machine on spin cycle. It sounds odd or New Age thinking, but it’s very wise to filter what you put into your brain. And when those negative or critical or self-doubting thoughts arise, change the channel in your brain! Some simple brain-channel changing exercises: list the things in your life for which you are grateful; get outside in the sunlight and get some vitamin D;  perform an act of kindness for someone else. Change the channel.

Before we close out 2020, do a quick self evaluation. What is your emotional intelligence? How are the relationships in your life (at work and at home)? How is your stress level? Do you have a feeling of accomplishment often? Do you feel like you are in a rut? In all these questions find the common denominator: YOU. 

You. 

You can have better relationships, results, and joy when you win the battle of the mind. I wish I could say this was all my original thought –formed in the complexity of my brain whilst behind the wheel of a tractor. No, a book written over 2,000 years ago taught me all of this and I’d highly recommend the Scriptures to anyone who desires to learn more.

Be grateful. Be kind. Be determined. Be self-aware. Be emotionally intelligent!