The Most Important Things

The most important thing I do every day is nothing. For the past year I've begun the morning with 20 minutes of silence. It is not quite meditation and not quite traditional prayer, but simply being intentionally quiet in body and mind. I sit in a comfortable chair with my feet on the floor (full disclosure, often this chair is the driver's seat of my car) and focus on something in nature before me. The color of the sky as it changes, the wind rustling the branches or slow movement of clouds passing are all good ways for me to quiet the external noise.

Stilling the internal dialogue is more challenging. Nothing provokes an eruption of reminders, feelings and self-talk more than attempting to be quiet. I've found that it's best not to attack or berate these messengers, but to simply tell the thoughts that I'll be done in 20 minutes and to come back then. Setting my watch to vibrate at the end of the time has been helpful for keeping this boundary intact.

Breathing slowly - feeling the inhale and exhale of breath - helps to still the noisy mind. But some days it is a losing battle, but that's OK too. The purpose of this exercises is not to reach an altered state, but to become aware of the way my body and mind interact and to be able to spot throughout the day why I'm getting tense or when my body is trying to bring things to awareness and is getting boxed out.

I began this stillness exercise during a stressful time when my mind was racing and I was finding sleep difficult. The result was an appreciation that, no matter what was happening around me, I had the ability to bring my mind and body back into synch, to remain grounded and to move from fight, freeze or flight mode into curiosity and calm.

"How does doing nothing for 20 minutes help you be a better leader?" Simply put, it helps me be a better human being. And better humans are better at leading, and listening, and loving, and parenting... and pretty much everything else. We all know the danger of distracted driving. More is at stake in life than in driving, yet the vast majority of us are so distracted and disconnected that we are causing emotional pile ups around us every day. I know that was true of me. Doing nothing didn't miraculously cure decades of distraction habits, but in the past year more change has resulted from this habit than all the self help books I've ever read - and I've read a lot :)

Try it out. Start with 5 minutes a day and build up each week to 20. After a month, assess how you are doing. Ask those closest to you if you're more present and open. But most of all enjoy the sense of peace available to you at any moment of the day or night by being able to do nothing well.